I really do not understand your point here. The cockroach scared the women and they cried. Different things produce different levels of anxiety, panic and stress in different individuals.

Of course, it is our reaction that matters. But the reaction itself is not in our control and is triggered by the stimulus.

What you are trying to say is that the stimulus itself is not important. I say you are in opinion wrong. Because it is just the stimulus which causes the reaction (in a different way in different people).

So you can never reduce the importance of circumstances. Genes and experience blend to shape behavior.