inspire fear and dread in the hearts of western mothers who try to maintain ties with the father's family after a death/divorce by visiting his native country.

I myself am in a similar situation, and though a part of me thinks that my ex would never do such a thing, this situation just goes to show that one can never be sure.

And so I won't risk it -- even if it means my child never gets to visit his paternal relatives. I am happy for them to come to us and visit us where we live, but I will never take my child to his father's country.

I've consulted with lawyers from all the relevant countries (Qatar and from our two native countries -- and I did this starting the moment I knew I was pregnant). I feel like I have a good understanding of what I need to do to maintain custody of my child. One of those things is to never visit his dad's home country while he's a minor.

I would encourage all women in similar situations to arm themselves with as much info as they can gather. Most of us have little understanding of the laws and customs, the legal precedents in other countries. When a woman first becomes involved in a relationship with a foreigner, she should explore all the "what if" scenarios before she finds herself in an untenable position.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx