your car simply did you a kindness and relieved you of having to worry about those pesky auto repairs and always having to buy petrol.

What's that you say? Your sister died in a car accident? Don't be sad -- she always used to borrow your clothes and jewelry and forget to return them, pry into your private affairs,...who needs her?! You're better off without her!

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx