Actually you can get antidepressents quite easily over the counter here. Not that I'm recommending in anyway that you self medicate.

You need to go to a professional and talk to someone. If they recommend that you take anti-depressents than don't be afraid of them, if they give you the proper dosage than you will find that you are a lot better off than you were before you started taking them. Sometimes it is just a chemical reaction in the brain and has nothing to do with what is going on in your life.

I do not recommend that you try falling in love. Depression is a personal battle and is not easily understood by others who are not suffering from it. Also if the love goes wrong you'll wind up more depressed than when you started.

It has nothing to do with whether or not you are an expat or not.

Since you say you have been suffering from this for a while and that you are contemplating suicide, than it is time to go talk to someone. The sooner the better.

:)