Why did the chicken cross the road? American

Scarlett
By Scarlett

version...

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road... ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL AZZ OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA !

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

By ladymeh• 11 Oct 2008 10:46
ladymeh

really good scarlett

“A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.”

By jauntie• 9 Oct 2008 00:54
jauntie

that was a fun read :D

By anonymous• 8 Oct 2008 23:13
anonymous

I like the chicken

you can also test the hot chicken restaurant, it's OK hahahahah

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 22:45
Scarlett

we'll never know how many of those chickens cross the road/river...that's why they drag the sand each night by the barbed wire fence, to count chicken footprints...so we try and guess how many we don't know came over..

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By lima foxtrot• 8 Oct 2008 14:39
lima foxtrot

 

 

By corleone• 8 Oct 2008 14:32
corleone

US Border Patrol: The question is how many chickens crossed the road?

By heero_yuy2• 8 Oct 2008 14:28
heero_yuy2

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By coolio78• 8 Oct 2008 14:00
coolio78

hilarious...!

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 11:35
mjamille28

they crossed the road, coz m1 was on that side and they dont want anyone else to see them associating with him...people might think the chickens are fartknockers as well if they dont move away from him (sorry janey, had to use the word)..hence, the crossing of the road...

By blackbeard• 8 Oct 2008 11:31
blackbeard

hahaha.. very creative.. thanks scarlet...

-------------------------------------------------------

"Life is like a box of chocolate.. You never know what you gonna get." -Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump)

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:51
hitendrab

it was good to conversant with you.

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:42
Scarlett

quit telling the "chicken secrets"...remember you are in Qatar, where gossip runs rampant!!

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:41
Scarlett

but I have dibs on the white meat!!

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By Pieman• 8 Oct 2008 10:41
Pieman

britexpat......what you trying to say lol

just eat another pie

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:40
hitendrab

I wouldn't mind sharing it with Scarlett, lol :)

By britexpat• 8 Oct 2008 10:40
britexpat

The chicken wasn't married and after a "quiet" evening with its partner which was of a different nationality..

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:39
Scarlett

that there actually WAS a Colonel Sanders and the recipe that used to be KFC was SOOO much better than anything they call fried chicken now. He was so disappointed when it changed hands and they changed the recipe, that he wanted to remove his name from the store, but legally he couldn't.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 10:38
mjamille28

lol pieman, of course not always... just that all these chickens crossing the road is making me think of lunch...

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 10:37
mjamille28

better call KFC and get a hold of one of those chickens...lol

By Pieman• 8 Oct 2008 10:35
Pieman

mj............................................

your always hungry!!!!

just eat another pie

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:34
hitendrab

Thanx to mjamille (MJ)

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 10:32
mjamille28

liked the fish and chips there... oh, and the bangers and mash... now im hungry...

By Pieman• 8 Oct 2008 10:30
Pieman

I must admit its been about a year since I was at Garveys so it may have improved.

I suppose the food was okay and the drinks reasonably priced in comparison but the place itself leaves a bit to be desired, unless, as I mentioned, its been revamped a bit.

just eat another pie

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:28
Scarlett

only issue i have is how to find the place again since I was following someone else that night! I am very directionally challenged.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:28
hitendrab

Never

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 10:26
mjamille28

hmm, Garvey's its ok...

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:26
Scarlett

live long and prosper...

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:25
Scarlett

have you tried garveys? I've only been there once but had a good time as it was a fund raiser for QAWS...we stayed LONG after it was over and had a heck of a time.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By britexpat• 8 Oct 2008 10:25
britexpat

It was the only logical thing to do.

By Pieman• 8 Oct 2008 10:24
Pieman

hitendrab...............................

Simply to get to the other side

just eat another pie

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 10:23
mjamille28

all these talks about chickens makes me hungry....lol

By Pieman• 8 Oct 2008 10:22
Pieman

The chicken must be desparate if its goin to Garvey's

just eat another chicken pie

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:22
Scarlett

there was the really good looking rooster on the other side...he must have been well worth the danger, especially if it was here in Qatar with all the speed demon drivers...

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:20
hitendrab

well said...lol

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:20
hitendrab

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

By Loulsy• 8 Oct 2008 10:19
Loulsy

hmmmm wonder what Arab presidents would answer! LOOOOL..

Or lets just say Lebanese politicians.. hehehehehe

WYSIWYG

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:16
Scarlett

I LIVE in Texas, hitendrab...I see the result of the illegal aliens coming across the border daily...its CURRENT history...

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By labda06• 8 Oct 2008 10:15
labda06

ROFL!!! That was HILARIOUS!!!! hahahaha

Soon as I read the topic I was like "Where's someonenew?" and alas there she is, playing mother hen. :)

------------Virgos dont like chaos, gerrit? ----------

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:11
hitendrab

US is on the winds of change,

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:05
Scarlett

the folks from Mexico come across in the hundreds each day to live in the WOLF country...try and explain that one..

we must be doing something right.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By r7• 8 Oct 2008 10:04
r7

Good sTuff Scarlett :)

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:04
hitendrab

seriously - Good One... :)

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 10:02
hitendrab

Stil they will be safe in Mexico cos wolf wouldn't be there.....

lol

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 10:01
Scarlett

wish I was that clever, but alas..it came to me via email and I was laughing so much I had to share it with you guys..

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By abohmaid• 8 Oct 2008 09:57
abohmaid

is it done by u?

By abohmaid• 8 Oct 2008 09:56
abohmaid

matching the characters

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 09:48
Scarlett

if American was a wolf, then the chicken would be in much hotter water since crossing the road would mean it was now in Mexico, and they make the BEST chicken tacos there..

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By Andrews• 8 Oct 2008 09:48
Andrews

They were running away from KFC

By Tigasin321• 8 Oct 2008 09:46
Tigasin321

I always thought he would make a good President.

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about

By hitendrab• 8 Oct 2008 09:44
hitendrab

American's become wolf.

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 09:39
Scarlett

is that anything like cross dressing chickens?? Hmmm, a chicken in drag...

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By britexpat• 8 Oct 2008 09:34
Rating: 4/5
britexpat

The Chicken crossed the road because it was being abused and it wanted to quietly meet a partner to take to Garveys.

By someonenew• 8 Oct 2008 09:27
someonenew

Cant u leave my chickens alone please???

I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 09:24
Rating: 2/5
mjamille28

or could be, they're too "chicken" to stay on that side...

By mjamille28• 8 Oct 2008 09:23
mjamille28

hahaha, hilarious! i loved Dr. Seuss' version... and Col. Sanders...

keep on crossing chickens!!!

By Scarlett• 8 Oct 2008 09:21
Scarlett

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By irrysa• 8 Oct 2008 09:15
irrysa

LOL!

nice one Scarlett!

i like Clinton here and Colonel Sanders, LMAO!

If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.

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