A SRI LANKAN Story
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake in
Colombo.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't
Understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we
Were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big Crock, "what have you been eating?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'Crock.
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"
"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Parliament House."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Benz cars and wait for one to
unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the sh*t out of them and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not
Getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the
Sh*t out of a politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole and a
Briefcase."
Ahhahahah good one
OFFICE MEMO:
From : Managing Director
To : Vice President
"Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o'clock. This is something which we cannot see everyday. So let all employees line up outside, in their best clothes to watch it. To mark the occasion of this rare occurrence, I will personally explain the phenomenon to them. If it is raining we will not be able to see it very well and in that case the employees should assemble in the canteen."
From : Vice President
To : General Manager
"By order of the Managing Director, there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o' clock tomorrow morning. If it is raining we will not be able to see it in our best clothes, on the site. In this case the disappearance of the sun will be followed through in the canteen. This is something we cannot see happening everyday."
From : General manager
To : Industry Managers
"By order of the Managing Director, we shall follow the disappearance of the sun in our best clothes, in the canteen at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. The Managing Director will tell us whether it is going to rain. This is something which we cannot see happen everyday."
From : Industry Managers
To : Location heads
"If it is raining in the canteen tomorrow morning, which is something that we cannot see happen everyday, the Managing Director in his best clothes, will disappear at nine o'clock."
From : Location heads
To : Marketing Executives
"Tomorrow morning at nine o' clock, the Managing Director will disappear without his clothes. It's a pity that we can't see this happen everyday".
Good morning Char :) nice one though Bush doesn't worth a gallon :P
Some are Wise ... Some are ...Otherwise
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on US 95 south, just outside of Washington, DC. Nothing is moving north or south.
Suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?"What's the hold up?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzales, and reporters from Fox News. They are asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and setthem on fire.
We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "On average how much is everyone giving?"
"About a gallon."
A Sri lankan visit his friend in newyork. They went for a night out. Friend said when ever you go for a girl make sure to wear a condom so that you will not get HIV.
They were walking at 42nd street and suddenly a guy came infront of them and demanded all the money they had and threatne to inject HIV.
The friend suddenly gave all his money and ask his sri lankan friend to do the same but he refused. The robber injected the HIV and disappeared.
His friend was so upset and told him you are new to this city and why didnt you give your money to him ? Do you know that you are already injected with Deadliest HIV.
Sri lankan friend said "Dont worry i am already wearing a Condom"
Is it true of just sri lankan politicians or its a world wide phenomenan??
I know they are the same atleast in our part of the world.
""They walk among us. They vote & they even reproduce""
She sends me funny quotes and stuff and this one's funny. I thought we're the only one in my country who has crocodiles in the government...lol
I never found a companion that was so companionable as SOLITUDE.- Henry David Thoreau
that a bice statement
good one
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
ohh how true of a statement!