Some more "One Liner" Humour

.
- To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.
- Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beer-holder.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?
- I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- The trouble with life is there's no background music.
- God must love stupid people; he made so many.
- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.