RULES FOR WOMEN DURING THE WORLD CUP

Dracula
By Dracula

LIST OF RULES!!
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1. From 11 June to 11 July 2010, you should read the sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations.
If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on. And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen
them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

11. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc.

Thank you for your cooperation
THE HUSBAND!

By anonymous• 3 Jun 2010 20:16
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

Husband Wife during World Cup.

By Dracula• 3 Jun 2010 20:12
Dracula

oOopssss...sorry!

By britexpat• 3 Jun 2010 20:10
britexpat

Mr. Dracula...

How dare you sir... QL women are not Pros..

By Dracula• 3 Jun 2010 19:05
Dracula

What's wrong with QL Women? :P

All are football-pro????

By OzzyO• 3 Jun 2010 16:59
OzzyO

..Ice cold Bud lite...

But who's buying?

By Khawaga• 3 Jun 2010 16:51
Khawaga

I'm up for beer, popcorn and World Cup. Woo hoo!!

By naforever• 3 Jun 2010 16:49
naforever

I love World Cup and I'm a female...can't wait to watch the game and love the screaming and shouting! my guy better count his lucky stars to be with me!!!!

By naforever• 3 Jun 2010 16:48
naforever

I love World Cup and I'm a female...can't wait to watch the game and love the screaming and shouting! my guy better count his lucky stars to be with me!!!!

By Dracula• 3 Jun 2010 15:57
Dracula

"Handegg?" BLOODY GOOD ONE! :)Hahahaha!!!

By anonymous• 3 Jun 2010 14:48
anonymous

Nope QS, this definition is required only in this case as some people insist on calling Handegg Football. No such issues with Boxing or Rowing.

By britexpat• 3 Jun 2010 14:30
britexpat

You forgot one other key aspect..

All ladies must wear a tight fitting football shirt of the country supported by your partner or husband. This may be accompanied by an appropriately skimpy teddy..

By anonymous• 3 Jun 2010 14:19
anonymous

Greatone WK. Handegg.... Going to send that to every septic tank I know!

By qatarisun• 3 Jun 2010 14:18
qatarisun

Uk, following your logic, why wouldn't we call hockey a "stickpuck"?

and why wouldn't we call rowing a "oarwater"?

and why wouldn't we call boxing a "glovebody"?

:)

By anonymous• 3 Jun 2010 13:58
anonymous

Uk I will once I am back home. I deleted every friend from the list before deactivating the account so will send add request again

By Khawaga• 3 Jun 2010 13:54
Khawaga

Handegg?? Hahahaha!!!

By deepb• 3 Jun 2010 13:49
deepb

That was a horrible reason to research kicking your own ball happy.... Make sure to apply some ice :P

By Frugaluga• 3 Jun 2010 13:49
Frugaluga

That it is in a nutshell....or egg shell :0P

By GodFather.• 3 Jun 2010 13:49
GodFather.

lol WK..that the funniest point of the day for me so far..Handegg..:)

Now can you sign back in FB..:)

By happygolucky• 3 Jun 2010 13:47
happygolucky

deepb...that was in response to QS asking each one be given its own ball...:)

By anonymous• 3 Jun 2010 13:45
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

Well I don't know what is soccer but I can explain what is Football with the help of diagrams.

By GodFather.• 3 Jun 2010 13:44
Rating: 3/5
GodFather.

yep Wk what is soccer..:) imagine it been called Fifa soccer world cup ..lol

By anonymous• 3 Jun 2010 13:41
anonymous

QS what is soccer?

By GodFather.• 3 Jun 2010 13:40
GodFather.

soccer.. what a lousy word.. You kick the ball with your foot so it is Football.

Plus it is FiFa World cup.. :)

By deepb• 3 Jun 2010 13:39
deepb

now, why did you go and experiment with that happy?

By happygolucky• 3 Jun 2010 13:38
happygolucky

Kicking ones 'own ball' would be sooooooooo painful...:)

By qatarisun• 3 Jun 2010 13:36
Rating: 3/5
qatarisun

isn't it a soccer world cup, by the way?

By Frugaluga• 3 Jun 2010 13:36
Frugaluga

At one point during a football (soccer) match in America, the coach said to one of his young players, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative. ' Do you understand that what matters is how we play together as a team?' The little boy nodded yes.

'So, 'the coach continued, 'When offside is given, or a foul is not seen, you don't argue or swear or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?' Again the little boy nodded.

'Good, 'said the coach, 'Now go over there and explain it to your mother.'

By qatarisun• 3 Jun 2010 13:33
qatarisun

that's what is my thought, FS.. why not to give each of them his own ball?

By qatarisun• 3 Jun 2010 13:33
qatarisun

thanks God my hub is not a WORLD CUP's fun..:)

so nothing will change during the WORLD CUP..

he still will be "blind, deaf and mute"...sitting in front of his laptop's screen and working 24/7..:(

so your wife should be happy having husband like youself, who is only blind, deaf and mute once a 4 years..:)

By Formatted Soul• 3 Jun 2010 13:32
Formatted Soul

Is that game so many people run behind one ball?? lol

By hms• 3 Jun 2010 13:13
hms

What is this foot ball ?/ and how do they play ??

By flor1212• 3 Jun 2010 13:11
flor1212

divorce paper while still sane. Don't let her to be insane, she might kick your b****s better than the players do! Lol!

By Dracula• 3 Jun 2010 13:10
Dracula

:) Thanks!

By happygolucky• 3 Jun 2010 13:10
happygolucky

lol...very interesting...:)

By hms• 3 Jun 2010 13:09
hms

Send wife on vacation with kids.

By drmana• 3 Jun 2010 13:07
drmana

Sadly, I am more into world cup than hubby....my hubby would be saying all that to me :-)

By deepb• 3 Jun 2010 13:07
deepb

lol, My wife to be must think I'm a catch since I'm not interested in soccer after reading this :P

By Khawaga• 3 Jun 2010 13:06
Khawaga

Hahahaha!!! Thanks Drac.

By Frugaluga• 3 Jun 2010 13:05
Frugaluga

Do not for any reason asked me to explain "the offside trap"!!!!!!!!

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