Rules

> >Rules for Girls

> >At last WE have taken the time to write this all down finally, the
>guys'
> >side of the story.
> >(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> >We always hear "The Rules"
> >From the female side.
> >Now here are the rules from the male side.
> >These are OUR rules!
> >Please note.. these are all NUMBERED "1"
> >ON PURPOSE!
> >
> >
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>-
> >------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >1. Men ARE not mind readers.
> >----------------------------------------------------
> >1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> >We need it up, you need it down.
> >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
> >----------------------------------------------------
> >1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> >or the changing of the tides.
> >Let it be.
> >------------------------------------------------------
> >1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> >And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> >-------------------------------------------------------
> >1. Crying is blackmail.
> >--------------------------------------------------------
> >1. Ask for what you want.
> >Let us be clear on this one:
> >Subtle hints do not work!
> >Strong hints do not work!
> >Obvious hints do not work!
> >Just say it!
> >---------------------------------------------------------
> >1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
>question.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
> >what we do.
> >Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> >In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
> >to act like soap opera guys.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> >Don't ask us.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
> >makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. You can either ask us to do something
> >Or tell us how you want it done.
> >Not both.
> >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
> >commercials.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> >We have no idea what mauve is.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
> >We do that.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
> >nothing's wrong.
> >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
> >you don't want to hear.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
>fine...
> >Really.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> >discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
> >or golf.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. You have enough clothes.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. You have too many shoes.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> >--------------------------------------------------
> >1. Thank you for reading this.
> >Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
> >
> >
> >But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.