office jokes
How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace
1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.
3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
6) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
7) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
8) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
9) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
10) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
11) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
12) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
13) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
strawbeery_shisha, Please, repetition is really boring!
lol..yeah..i agree..
I like activity 8..
Baaaaaaaa....feel like vomiting...what joke is this yaar....
Britey goes to the Post Office to interview for a job.
The interviewer named Rizks asks him, "Are you a veteran?
Britey says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."
"Good," says Rizks, "That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?"
Britey says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me disabled, it doesn''t affect my ability to work, though."
"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I can hire you right now! Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10, and we''ll get you started."
Britey says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?"
"Well, here at the post office, we don''t do anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours. Don''t need you here for that!"
LOL brit
lol britey ;)
Rofl britey !
A few fingers should be mandatory with such jokes...:)
Rizks sees strawberr_shisha standing next to the fax machine crying her eyes out. He asks her what's wrongs and she says
"It's this machine! I can't get it to send a fax!"
Rizks (being a gentleman) shows her how to do it and the piece of paper goes through the machine.
At this strawberry_shisha cries out loudly again and says
"But it's still here!"
Offical stare