Nice joke
Mr.X walks into a bar in London , orders 3 glasses of
beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the
glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
Mr.X replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai ,
the other in Canada and I'm here in London . When they left home, we
promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank
together."
The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
Mr.X became a regular in the bar and would always
drink the same way. He'd order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other
regulars notice and fell silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar
tender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer
my sincere condolences on your great loss."
Mr.X looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs.... "Oh, no,"
He said, "Everyone's fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is . .
........I have quit drinking !!!"
At the college, male & female students were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'
Females wrote: When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, then, it is spiritually and morally acceptable to the society that they both engage themselves in the act of physical sex with one another.
Men wrote: 'I love sex.'
lolz:P
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We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.
Nice one
Mick staggered home in the wee small hours after a heavy night out with his mates. When he woke up the next morning, he found he was in bed with the dog beside him in his wife's place.
"Glory be!" said Mick. " I must have been really drunk when I got home. I thought there was a lot of noise when I threw the dog out!"
A drunakard, too much drunk, orders another cup of beer.The bartender says "sir, it is too much so please go home" "Okay, here I go" he goes out, comes in from another door, asks for a beer, receives the same answer and goes out. This happens for several times and, at the fifth time, furiously, he asks the bartender "Hey you man, how many bars do you work in?, tell me!"
a drug addict had his coke powder lined in two lines, he sniffed the first line, when someone called his mobile, he replied: hold on i have a second line
Yalla!
hahahaha
good one brit (last one i mean)
Yalla!
Paddy was rather sad after viewing the body of a dead atheist.
"There he was. All dressed up and no place to go."
Mr. X in deep thaughts
Sitting calm, quite,
Mr. Y: what is wrong with you Santa
Mr. X: please don't ask
Mr. Y: I am your child hood friend say to me.
Mr. X: my seven year old son made my secretary pregnant """
Mr. X that's not possible
No he did
Hows that possible
He punctured my condoms !!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
LOL... very nice joke!
brit...you just confirmed then that husbands have scotchtapes in their mouth...when dealing with their wives that is...lol...and ear muffs or ear plugs too :P
brit, it's still "sexist". I think, jokes are not possible without violating the QL Guidelines. Lol.
My apologies.. I forgot..
new version..
An ordinary boy, from nowhere particular and from a good loving family came home from school and told his mother that he had been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
The boy says "I play the part of the husband or life partner!"
The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
brit!!
Don’t post anything that could be perceived as illegal or offensive (i.e. racist, pornographic, sexist, obscene, profane, vulgar, derogatory, hateful or threatening).
(QL Community Guidelines)
A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!"
The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
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"If you born poor it's not your mistake
But if you die poor it's your mistake"
good joke!!!