A Little Laughter is Good Sometimes

Old Goat 

The young couple invited their aged Vicar for Sunday lunch.  While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son, what they were having.

'Goat, 'the little boy replied.

'Goat?' replied the startled man of the cloth, 'Are you sure about that?' 

'Yep', said the youngster. 'I definitely heard Dad say to Mum, we might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'

Clean Pub Joke

You'll be delighted to know, readers, that alcohol does not make you fat. I have discovered that it makes you lean: against tables, chairs, floors, walls and people.

Parrot at Auction

One day David went to an auction. While he was there, he bid for a parrot. David really wanted this bird, so he got caught up and thoroughly involved in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. 

Finally, after he had bid much more than he had intended, David won the bid; the parrot was his at last.

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, 'I hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!'

'Don't worry.' said the auctioneer, 'He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?'