I dont think by complying with some of these points makes you loose your individuality or demean us as women. I do take offense to the fact that this article has some points which devalue a woman, such as the point saying his conversational topics are more important that his wives.
I also hate that the word "obedience" has come into this topic. Dogs are meant to be obedient, not people. If I follow what my husband says to me it is out of understanding and a mutual respect but this goes both ways and I have choosen to listen based on the pros and cons, not out of obligation.
We had this article presented to us in high school. When I showed my Grandma she laughed and said "Now you know why all of us drank so much in those days".
I mentioned that it is the men with low understanding about the opposite sex, who wish for the compliancy of their women, is also the women with limited education that succumb to these men's wishes. As much as I hate to say it, we can't force people to learn. They are comfortable in their cosy narrow minded worlds.
you do not say yes sir but if he is giving you all the comfort what you needed, in return cooking meal or making your self presetnable is not a big deal.these things you do to any one who you realy love.The life worth living is giving for the good of others.
A GOOD decision in a marriage dmighty is one that's made between and with the consent and opinion of BOTH people in the marriage.
My father didn't come home one day and say "Hey Dear, I pack your bags, I got a job offer in Qatar, we leave tomorrow." He told my mother he was applying for the job, and when he was offered it they discussed if it was BOTH what they wanted to do. If my mother hadn't agreed they wouldn't have come over here.
Dinner is made by whomever gets home first. On days when my mother works till 5 and my father till 3, she doesn't come home and have my father tell her to make dinner. He makes dinner those nights and vice versa.
Marriages are PARTNERSHIPS not a boss/servant scenario.
the article is on the premise that the husband is a good husband meaning he make good decision for the whole family. It doesn't mean that an obvious wrong decision will be tolerated. But you don't need to write it down. Saying no right to question his decision is on the pretext that man (at that time, 1955) knows his place and is doing good decision for his family. There will always an exception but why highlight it? When you get married Gypsy, you'll understand my view and you will make your marriage success or not! You'll know what I am saying all along! Ask Mr. Paul, I think he's been married! Ask him what happened?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"And definitely does not involve obedience and compliancy".
What kind of relationship (partnership if others want to call it) without obedience? What, you want to be placed in your contract that you can argue in anything the other decide? Is that what your idea of equality?
What do you want to see in the article, oh, like this:
1. Do not please your husband
2. Argue and argue violently in any decision he makes!
3. Don't cook his dinner (let him cook his food)
4. Wife is allowed to go-out and husband has no right to question
5. Etc. etc. etc. Go women's liberation! We don't need happy marriage, we want equality, don't give a damn about happy marriage!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
Gypsy, I said it definately had bad points. I think it would be more of a bad point for my Dh if he stayed out all night and I wasnt allowed to ask him where he was :)
I think my point is that we women have come a long way, and along with that we see just about every point of the article as an attack, which I dont think it is entirely.
No one is against making your partner happy. But it goes both ways, and does not necessarily involve servitude. And definitely does not involve obedience and compliancy.
What troubles me is the notion that either party should feel that they should demean themselves before being deserving of respect, or that one party has the right to expect such behavior.
This whole article is predicated on the idea that before a wife can expect respect from her husband, she should first surrender her own free will and base all her actions around pleasing her husband.
Its all about give and take.. For some reason there is a perception that if either a man or woman does soething for the other, they are demeaning themselves or their status. this should not be the case.
You going to be ok with him staying out all night and not questions him Amoud, or let him make all the decisions? Somehow I can't see you doing that. ;)
There's being a housewife and a spouse, and there's being a doormat
Hmm, I think this article has some good points, and definately some bad.
I dont see there being a problem in catering to my husbands needs when he has been out working all day. I do believe that a home is somewhere people should feel comfortable and be able to unwind.
If my dear hubby is out working all day to support our lifestyle I dont really see anything wrong in showing him how much I appreciate it. That said, if I was told that I had "my place" and that anything I ever have to say will never be as important as anything he has to say I think I would become Scarletts definition of a Texas wife ;)
As for primping up a bit before he comes home I do my best, and believe me he appreciates the effort as well.
The points lead to a messless happy house hold strongly controlled by a perfect lady . I really like the wife's role but MUST add is a little help from the Husband to ease up wife work load will definitly lead to heaven at home.
It will be much nices if Husband and Wife both cook a meal together or husband doing the dish washing when wife didi the cooking... thats perfect.
I gtg.. but one last comment - what appears to be a weakness may actually be a strength. It doesn't matter what other people think. Whatever floats one's boat, be happy. Life's too short. Tata!
The only thing that makes me happy about this whole conversation. Is that I can see that the people who think women should obey their husbands, are clearly outnumbered and out-voted. One day, they will cease to exist.
Fubar said Wow. A woman has her place. I can't believe people still talk that way.
What exactly is the woman's place? Is it the kitchen? Or is it more like saying her 'place' is to be subservient to her husband?"
A woman's place as her husband's helper. Equal but not subservient to her husband. Both serve each other.
Provided there are checks and balances to ensure no abuse of power - this is preferable as it would take the pressure off me to make all the decisions all the time. It's quite tiresome. Would be nice to have someone take charge of things sometimes. Problem here is, of course, men tend to overdo it and they don't listen very well.. ah well...
The man is the head of the home - that is why it is so important to make the right choice. Never a guarantee but possible to have a damn good idea whether he will make it in the long run. Better to quite sure, before giving a man that much power if he's likely to abuse for his own benefit.
But hand in hand with that power is responsibility. That's where most men fail. The power goes to their head and inflates their weak egos and that's where things really go downhill.
DMS - "No right to question him was preceded by if the decisions are fair and true to what was to be. But if it's an obvious wrong one, it will be stupidity not to question him, but respect should be always there. It's not absolute!"
Correct. I'd question and give my 2 bits worth ..maybe several more bits worth.. Decisions should be made with consideration of my views as well but if there's a stalemate, then the decision maker will be him - and the responsibility for it as well.
Dmigty you still have not answered, what exactly are the places of a man and a woman, and who decides which tasks should be assigned to men, and which to women? Women and men are capable of equally performing almost every task conceivable, so who decides which ones the men should do, and which the women?
at home, in the community and in the society as a whole. We could never be in the same place at one time. We should respect our individual places because that will make our world runs smoothly.
I did not say we are not equal. I said, not only wife but all of us have our places. We need to perform our roles and duties based on our places. If we don't respect our places, then this would be a chaotic world as some wanted it to be! Be reasonable, people!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
And then I mentioned several times, that it is both those that are less educated on the opposite sex, and those that feel threatened by the opposite sex, that seek the compliant wives. It's quite obvious to see really.
I don't know where to begin trying to answer your last post, DMS.
Clearly I don't believe a husband should be a philanderer. And I'm not sure why you think I believe a wife is/should be a maid. I would have thought it's perfectly obvious from all my posts that I think that men who treat their wives as domestic help are contemptible.
I wouldn't want a wife who sits around the house all day polishing the silver and baking cookies. I'd tell her to get a life.
I don't believe a woman has any prescribed 'place' in a relationship. She is equal to her husband in every possible way, so by definition she has no place since no one has the right to tell her what to do or how to live her life. She's a grown, thinking woman capable of living her own life.
MissX said I think you will find dmigty ...that you are in the minority. Intelligent men do not want a maid as a wife, they want their equal. It's a partnership in every sense of the word. Suggesting men want women to be compliant and obedient is as offensive to many men as it is to women. "
Depends on whose perspectives - pros and cons to every situation. Generally, Asian men think like dms. And so too do others who have been unlucky in the past - they prefer the conservative view. Eg. the Western men who go for poorer Asian women. While it's easy to paint them with the same brush of negativity but there's more to it than that. Many intelligent men find that their "equal" can be quite a handful and quite often, too difficult to handle and probably too expensive in the long run. It depends on so many things.
i don't see housewives doing these things anymore..i remember my grandma doing them though..housewives nowadays are seen in reality tv shows and not in their houses..
I can clean the dishes, wash the clothes, cook our food, take care of the children, do the marketing, what else? etc, etc, etc. Well, maybe I am a good houseband!
But definitely, my wife is a better(half of mine) one!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
not to mention blinking her eyes n saying "oh ! you are so smart/clever!!" and "What complicated things you do" at least half a dozen times before we go to bed. Also she must have the good manners to faint when I read the newspaper n tell her abt swineflu!
you seem to typecast a husband as a philandering man who spend more time with his buddies that his wife! You view a wife as a maid or a slave. That's pathetic.
May I asked you, how do you view "place" of a woman? The woman is the wife, google it, maybe you'll understand the word itself!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
I said, my wife is working. "Place" should not be taken literally! Sometimes, we do each other chores, but I remain the husband and she remains the wife! Simple as that! And more than 50 years ago, life is as simple as that! Man/Husband can provide everything, but nowadays, of course, many things changed! But husband and wife must still knows their respective places!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
I can't imagine living with a woman with your mentality! It will always be world war 3 in the house. I wouldn't mind it if in the bedroom, but imagining it at the entrance door, you really have to hate it! Lol!!!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
The article is from the 50's when the role of the wife was defined as such in 'good home" magazines and both parties played along.
Times are different now. in many cases , especially in the west, the wife is working, bringing up children and making a home. Her role has changed and with it the 'shared responsibilities" and "mutual understanding".
lastly, we can argue till the cows come home, BUT in many many parts of the worl, including the West, many men still prefer to see the role of the wife as described in the magazine.
I am not confused. But your outdated beliefs about the roles of women suggests a little bit of thoughtlessness. It is what men USED to believe before they were educated about the other sex.
and they do the decisions on their respective places. The other needs to agree and make a common decision to make it work. Is that what you mean, Gypsy? I agree with you!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
dmigtysolomon said If anybody finds the article immoral, please raise your hand.... ...
I am raising my hand. What a BS! It's like admitting that men are not capable to do anything for a relationship, that they are the spoiled loser who always have to be taken care of. Who wants such a man? And what kind of men wants a brainless maid to be his wife? Yay, grow up! That's like the requirements of a 3 years old boy. You want a wife or a younger version of your mother??? I hate it when men are spoiled like that...
Husband and wife are words dmighty, a marriage is a partnership, neither side is dominate. For a marriage to work both parties need to make the decisions and agree on things.
Property is implied dmigty. Read between the lines. If a woman is not allowed to voice her opinion, or disobey her husband. Do you really think she has control of her own life?
Just in case anyone was confused. That article was written in the 1950's. As time progressed and the more men became educated, the more they realised that a woman is their equal. Believing women are subservient to men is an ignorant way of thinking, and shows how little they understand about the opposite sex.
so it was limited to that line. If it dealt with the success of a marriage, then, the role of a woman and man will be discussed extensively!
Are you married, fubar? Are you happy? So you woman can be anywhere, no specific "place" to occupy? No specific husband or wife? Both are husband and both are wife?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
Wow. A woman has her 'place'... I can't believe people still talk that way.
What exactly is the woman's place? Is it the kitchen? Or is it more like saying her 'place' is to be subservient to her husband?
I can't imagine any of my friends, male or female, wanting a marriage based around such a sexist and outdated notion. Incredible to believe there are still people peddling that nonsense.
was it written that way, alone, one sentence? Honestly speaking, in our marriage sermon, this was taught. But explained more and not as concise as this. Really, a woman must know her place in marriage and for sure man also has his proper place.
No right to question him was preceded by if the decisions are fair and true to what was to be. But if it's an obvious wrong one, it will be stupidity not to question him, but respect should be always there. It's not absolute! Was there in the article that said it's absolute! You viewed it negatively, for sure its funny and sad, but viewing it objectively, maybe, just maybe, it the secret for a lasting marriage. And I challenge you, Gypsy, ask you parents and your grandparents about this article, ask their comment!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
ok dmigty, lets reverse the roles. Since we all know women are as capable as men as bringing in an income that can support a household. Lets see how well you would perform as a "housewife", and how much you would like living your life to serve and please your wife. I can tell you now, you would be fighting for your say. And don't even bother trying to argue that women can't perform work duties as well as men, because everyone with any scrap of intelligence knows they can.
Empathy is the ability to have an understanding of what things are like for someone else. I can tell you do not have this trait, or you would realise what it feels like to have an opinion that does not matter, and have thoughts that will never be heard. Put yourself in a woman's shoes Dmigty and try and understand.
Actually in most offices you can question your boss, if you have a good boss. Also my boss pays me, and If I don't like my job I can quit. Bit different than a husband.
and now I know your meaning for slavery. So if you find an instruction in the office that you can not question the "boss" for their decision, you are slave. Now, I understand it! That's why so many people including me questions the "exit permit" policy because we are not slave! But did they listen to us, so far?
And tallg, so you think many funny people during the 50's, eh?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
The reason it's funny is because it shows a dated view of how a housewife should behave, and in the UK we can look back on this a chuckle at how things used to be compared to what it is now.
But some countries still share the view that this is how housewives should behave, so obviously the humour would be lost on them.
the recommendation and suggestion in the article. As I said, the article is not funny and not sad also. Only those with so much negative things in their life see it that way! Be positive people!
I am not, for sure, in the minority! There is nowhere in the article that says, wife is a slave or suggested she should be! But if that's what you think, no way to argue with you! I'm just thinking what kind of life your husband has? and would have?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
To think my grandmother and grandfather are celebrating 60 years together this year and my parents 33 and my grandmother and mother NEVER acted like this. Must be those weak marriages dmighty is referring to.
you're full of negativism in your life. Be positive once in a while and you'll see the beauty of this life.
If this article offends you, I really pity your husband (if you are married). He's always on a look-out on anything that he may commit a non-serious wrongdoing that would end up the relationship!
Checking your profile, I'm not surprised at all! You belong to the present-day STRONG women who thinks their equality with men is a generic rights!
Look at the last sentence, a good wife knows her place. If I may add, the man should also know his proper place and treat each other places' sacred
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
I think you will find dmigty that you are in the minority. Intelligent men do not want a maid as a wife, they want their equal. It's a partnership in every sense of the word. Suggesting men want women to be compliant and obedient is as offensive to many men as it is to women.
I think I have a great marriage, but it is nothing like that picture and article. My husband comes home after work and cooks wonderful dinners, he adores me, he takes really good care of me. What is the saying...I am a "kept" woman
Dmigty, you questioned what is funny about his article. You are right, it is not funny, we assume something is funny when we laugh at it, but in this case, it is bitter laughter.
What is sad about this article? Is that someone who can be as kind, as loving, as passionate, as compassionate, as ambitious and as intelligent as someone else, is pushed into a role that tells them they are worth less. That their thoughts and curiosity and ambitions are all not worthy of consideration or respect and that their role in life is to fulfill their husbands desires.
It's oppression pure & simple, and it treated women as if they were less than human.
the article speak of a situation and somewhat a recommendation of how to be a good housewife. It's not mandatory but purely suggestive. It was not an instruction so I think not to be associated with women's any progressive actions nowadays! If one follows it, then it will be a big factor for a stronger marriage ties. If one tries to ignore it, no one to be blamed if marriage fails! It's just how you will handle the relationship and the article is a very good one!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
its not slavery not in the least, a good house wife may do all that out of love, if she is forced it may be called slavery, but if one does all that willingly , as it mentions in the article , it surely gives personal satisfaction when u want to impress and satisfy some one so special in your life,
for me, the job of a house wife is not slavery, its the duty which she abides out of love and sincerity ,
not questioning when he is whole night out is something wrong,
once in a while staying out late or coming home late is ok, but still we do have right to questioning,
marital life can only be successful when there is true love , understanding , sincerity ,
but it also doesnt mean that the husband or wife must do deep enquiries into each others matter and force the other to do his own will,
things always turn up good if u do them with each others consent,
Well, yes, the 'marriage' may have been stronger, but the women were never less fulfilled.
Don't forget that it was this level of general dissatisfaction with life among women that first spawned the widespread use of anti-depressants (valium, bex etc), the writings of Germaine Greer and Gloria Steinem, and finally the feminist revolution.
It goes without saying - the women were not happy. At all.
and what is also sad about this. If this is taken seriously, maybe it conveys something very good then that could be reminisced nowadays! I would presume marriage then is stronger than today!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"Househusband" is quite a well used term these days, in the UK at least.
This piece is amusing, but also shows how far countries like the UK have come in 50 years. And more importantly, it shows that countries do change if they're given time.
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my husband wanna become a househusband,he feel so tired on work.
ohhhh
Miss X, which Archive you are digging to get these ??
LOL
gud one
"""u have no right to question him""""
what kind of article is this..where did u get it from...
..all rubbish...
***~~~~DR.XRAY~~~~***
I dont think by complying with some of these points makes you loose your individuality or demean us as women. I do take offense to the fact that this article has some points which devalue a woman, such as the point saying his conversational topics are more important that his wives.
I also hate that the word "obedience" has come into this topic. Dogs are meant to be obedient, not people. If I follow what my husband says to me it is out of understanding and a mutual respect but this goes both ways and I have choosen to listen based on the pros and cons, not out of obligation.
We had this article presented to us in high school. When I showed my Grandma she laughed and said "Now you know why all of us drank so much in those days".
____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Agree with birdie...I don't want to be a good housewife if these are the qualifications.I'd rather be alone and keep my individuality.
**************************
Everything happens for a
reason.
are the "ISO " standards for a good wife, SORRY, I dont want to be one. I dont want my daughter to be one.
..LOL
I mentioned that it is the men with low understanding about the opposite sex, who wish for the compliancy of their women, is also the women with limited education that succumb to these men's wishes. As much as I hate to say it, we can't force people to learn. They are comfortable in their cosy narrow minded worlds.
What if you're giving him all the comfort he needs? Shouldn't he do the same in return? Cook a meal, make himself look nice?
you do not say yes sir but if he is giving you all the comfort what you needed, in return cooking meal or making your self presetnable is not a big deal.these things you do to any one who you realy love.The life worth living is giving for the good of others.
A GOOD decision in a marriage dmighty is one that's made between and with the consent and opinion of BOTH people in the marriage.
My father didn't come home one day and say "Hey Dear, I pack your bags, I got a job offer in Qatar, we leave tomorrow." He told my mother he was applying for the job, and when he was offered it they discussed if it was BOTH what they wanted to do. If my mother hadn't agreed they wouldn't have come over here.
Dinner is made by whomever gets home first. On days when my mother works till 5 and my father till 3, she doesn't come home and have my father tell her to make dinner. He makes dinner those nights and vice versa.
Marriages are PARTNERSHIPS not a boss/servant scenario.
the article is on the premise that the husband is a good husband meaning he make good decision for the whole family. It doesn't mean that an obvious wrong decision will be tolerated. But you don't need to write it down. Saying no right to question his decision is on the pretext that man (at that time, 1955) knows his place and is doing good decision for his family. There will always an exception but why highlight it? When you get married Gypsy, you'll understand my view and you will make your marriage success or not! You'll know what I am saying all along! Ask Mr. Paul, I think he's been married! Ask him what happened?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
I guess my parents & grandparents have very unhappy marriages than.
---------------------------------------------------------
I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
Do you honestly think that cooking his meals and saying Yes sir to all of his decisions makes a happy marriage Dmighty?
I think I am definately born 50 years too late..
Majority of the commandments above apply to me not to my dear wife.lol j/k
A good husband always knows his place...lol
-----------------
HE WHO DARES WINS
"And definitely does not involve obedience and compliancy".
What kind of relationship (partnership if others want to call it) without obedience? What, you want to be placed in your contract that you can argue in anything the other decide? Is that what your idea of equality?
What do you want to see in the article, oh, like this:
1. Do not please your husband
2. Argue and argue violently in any decision he makes!
3. Don't cook his dinner (let him cook his food)
4. Wife is allowed to go-out and husband has no right to question
5. Etc. etc. etc. Go women's liberation! We don't need happy marriage, we want equality, don't give a damn about happy marriage!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Power to the non believers, it’s a great feeling to have and hold.
I cant be bothered to read all the comments, I think this is a whole load of elephant shit!
"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.
Ha, chained to the stove barefoot and pregnant right?
THATS a womans place indeed.
____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Never changed in my house hold. i know my job my wife knows hers. she would tell you this only she in still chained in the kitchen where she belongs.
Power to the non believers, it’s a great feeling to have and hold.
Gypsy, I said it definately had bad points. I think it would be more of a bad point for my Dh if he stayed out all night and I wasnt allowed to ask him where he was :)
I think my point is that we women have come a long way, and along with that we see just about every point of the article as an attack, which I dont think it is entirely.
____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
ooh nicely said fubar.
No one is against making your partner happy. But it goes both ways, and does not necessarily involve servitude. And definitely does not involve obedience and compliancy.
What troubles me is the notion that either party should feel that they should demean themselves before being deserving of respect, or that one party has the right to expect such behavior.
This whole article is predicated on the idea that before a wife can expect respect from her husband, she should first surrender her own free will and base all her actions around pleasing her husband.
and that 'someone' surely had seen (and heard) what I think about phrase...lol
I think the argument Brit is that one spouse should not be expected to do everything for the other, while the other does nothing.
You make valid points.
Its all about give and take.. For some reason there is a perception that if either a man or woman does soething for the other, they are demeaning themselves or their status. this should not be the case.
You going to be ok with him staying out all night and not questions him Amoud, or let him make all the decisions? Somehow I can't see you doing that. ;)
There's being a housewife and a spouse, and there's being a doormat
Hmm, I think this article has some good points, and definately some bad.
I dont see there being a problem in catering to my husbands needs when he has been out working all day. I do believe that a home is somewhere people should feel comfortable and be able to unwind.
If my dear hubby is out working all day to support our lifestyle I dont really see anything wrong in showing him how much I appreciate it. That said, if I was told that I had "my place" and that anything I ever have to say will never be as important as anything he has to say I think I would become Scarletts definition of a Texas wife ;)
As for primping up a bit before he comes home I do my best, and believe me he appreciates the effort as well.
____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
The points lead to a messless happy house hold strongly controlled by a perfect lady . I really like the wife's role but MUST add is a little help from the Husband to ease up wife work load will definitly lead to heaven at home.
It will be much nices if Husband and Wife both cook a meal together or husband doing the dish washing when wife didi the cooking... thats perfect.
Might be a bit hard to know whether the author was religious or not, given that evidently the article is a hoax, of sorts.
http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp
I gtg.. but one last comment - what appears to be a weakness may actually be a strength. It doesn't matter what other people think. Whatever floats one's boat, be happy. Life's too short. Tata!
*****************************************
Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
The only thing that makes me happy about this whole conversation. Is that I can see that the people who think women should obey their husbands, are clearly outnumbered and out-voted. One day, they will cease to exist.
This article was written by someone who thought women were inferior dmighty.
Fubar said Wow. A woman has her place. I can't believe people still talk that way.
What exactly is the woman's place? Is it the kitchen? Or is it more like saying her 'place' is to be subservient to her husband?"
A woman's place as her husband's helper. Equal but not subservient to her husband. Both serve each other.
Provided there are checks and balances to ensure no abuse of power - this is preferable as it would take the pressure off me to make all the decisions all the time. It's quite tiresome. Would be nice to have someone take charge of things sometimes. Problem here is, of course, men tend to overdo it and they don't listen very well.. ah well...
*****************************************
Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
as Mr Paul said, we should not involved religion here, but that's where our difference are. Your view of a marriage is based on your conviction.
The article, I would presumed was written by someone with strong bible conviction. But just not to displease Mr Paul, I will stop here!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Slavery - depends on perspectives again.
Individualist vs collectivist society.
The man is the head of the home - that is why it is so important to make the right choice. Never a guarantee but possible to have a damn good idea whether he will make it in the long run. Better to quite sure, before giving a man that much power if he's likely to abuse for his own benefit.
But hand in hand with that power is responsibility. That's where most men fail. The power goes to their head and inflates their weak egos and that's where things really go downhill.
DMS - "No right to question him was preceded by if the decisions are fair and true to what was to be. But if it's an obvious wrong one, it will be stupidity not to question him, but respect should be always there. It's not absolute!"
Correct. I'd question and give my 2 bits worth ..maybe several more bits worth.. Decisions should be made with consideration of my views as well but if there's a stalemate, then the decision maker will be him - and the responsibility for it as well.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Sorry DMS, but I just cannot concede that either a man or a woman has his 'place'.
I also don't believe that a husband has a 'role' and a 'duty', other than to provide support for his wife where needed.
Otherwise, yes, I am totally for a marriage where either side can be wherever he or she wants to be at any given time.
We are in stark disagreement on the whole place issue, it's as simple as that.
A wife/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever does not have a place in my opinion, and I don't see why you believe that one is needed.
Dmigty you still have not answered, what exactly are the places of a man and a woman, and who decides which tasks should be assigned to men, and which to women? Women and men are capable of equally performing almost every task conceivable, so who decides which ones the men should do, and which the women?
Isn't it great that your "place" is above your wifes dmighty, must make it easier to stick to that role.
at home, in the community and in the society as a whole. We could never be in the same place at one time. We should respect our individual places because that will make our world runs smoothly.
I did not say we are not equal. I said, not only wife but all of us have our places. We need to perform our roles and duties based on our places. If we don't respect our places, then this would be a chaotic world as some wanted it to be! Be reasonable, people!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
And then I mentioned several times, that it is both those that are less educated on the opposite sex, and those that feel threatened by the opposite sex, that seek the compliant wives. It's quite obvious to see really.
I don't know where to begin trying to answer your last post, DMS.
Clearly I don't believe a husband should be a philanderer. And I'm not sure why you think I believe a wife is/should be a maid. I would have thought it's perfectly obvious from all my posts that I think that men who treat their wives as domestic help are contemptible.
I wouldn't want a wife who sits around the house all day polishing the silver and baking cookies. I'd tell her to get a life.
I don't believe a woman has any prescribed 'place' in a relationship. She is equal to her husband in every possible way, so by definition she has no place since no one has the right to tell her what to do or how to live her life. She's a grown, thinking woman capable of living her own life.
MissX said I think you will find dmigty ...that you are in the minority. Intelligent men do not want a maid as a wife, they want their equal. It's a partnership in every sense of the word. Suggesting men want women to be compliant and obedient is as offensive to many men as it is to women. "
Depends on whose perspectives - pros and cons to every situation. Generally, Asian men think like dms. And so too do others who have been unlucky in the past - they prefer the conservative view. Eg. the Western men who go for poorer Asian women. While it's easy to paint them with the same brush of negativity but there's more to it than that. Many intelligent men find that their "equal" can be quite a handful and quite often, too difficult to handle and probably too expensive in the long run. It depends on so many things.
*****************************************
Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
i don't see housewives doing these things anymore..i remember my grandma doing them though..housewives nowadays are seen in reality tv shows and not in their houses..
I can clean the dishes, wash the clothes, cook our food, take care of the children, do the marketing, what else? etc, etc, etc. Well, maybe I am a good houseband!
But definitely, my wife is a better(half of mine) one!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Great Dmighty. Do you give her a signing bonus for signing up for another 25 years of servitude? Perhaps a new vaccum?
I googled wife. Here's the definition:
"a woman joined in marriage to a man"
Don't see anything there about her place.
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
not to mention blinking her eyes n saying "oh ! you are so smart/clever!!" and "What complicated things you do" at least half a dozen times before we go to bed. Also she must have the good manners to faint when I read the newspaper n tell her abt swineflu!
she's very excited about it! Actually, even before we got married, we already looked forwarded to it. If we reached golden, we'll get married again!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
i dont like this article!! Wherz the part abt bringing me my slippers and giving me a shoulder rub? :-p
DMS, you sometimes do each other's chores. Sweet.
Which chores are yours? And which are hers?
Do you have them listed on a schedule?
And what if she doesn't do them?
keep going....
you seem to typecast a husband as a philandering man who spend more time with his buddies that his wife! You view a wife as a maid or a slave. That's pathetic.
May I asked you, how do you view "place" of a woman? The woman is the wife, google it, maybe you'll understand the word itself!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Eaglemannual, these days a woman doesn't use her husbands credit card, she uses her own.
Let me guess Dmighty, YOU made that decision.
miss saigon said nowadays ...
a good housewife doesnt swipe her husband's credit card to the max"
- Yes, swipes it just near to the max - cos skating on thin ice and living on the edge makes her an exciting woman for dear ol' hubby.
*****************************************
Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Or what house they buy, or car, or if they move, or if they have children, etc etc etc. All the BIG decisions.
we are getting married again this coming October for our silver anniversary! Everyone is welcome to attend, it will be held in Manila!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
DMS, you seem to be avoiding a very direct question being asked of you from a number of fronts:
What is the 'place' a woman should have in the relationship?
What are the respective decisions that each makes?
I'm guessing something like the woman can decide what food she'll be cooking and the man can decide where he's going out with the boys on the weekend?
I said, my wife is working. "Place" should not be taken literally! Sometimes, we do each other chores, but I remain the husband and she remains the wife! Simple as that! And more than 50 years ago, life is as simple as that! Man/Husband can provide everything, but nowadays, of course, many things changed! But husband and wife must still knows their respective places!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
And again, I'd hate to be your wife dmighty. The poor woman.
we are not aligned! Good day!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Yer mean the woman should stay at home, barefoot and pregnant, and the man should be out working to provide for his family ?
Thats a load of old bollox and you know it, especially in this day and age of equality for both sexes.
Beesh, I agree with you 100%.
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
Only the men who feel threatened, are the ones who try and keep women subservient.
I can't imagine living with a woman with your mentality! It will always be world war 3 in the house. I wouldn't mind it if in the bedroom, but imagining it at the entrance door, you really have to hate it! Lol!!!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
No dmighty. No one in a relationship has a specific "place" A marriage is a partnership of equals, nobody is the boss.
I think we are arguing at two extremes.
The article is from the 50's when the role of the wife was defined as such in 'good home" magazines and both parties played along.
Times are different now. in many cases , especially in the west, the wife is working, bringing up children and making a home. Her role has changed and with it the 'shared responsibilities" and "mutual understanding".
lastly, we can argue till the cows come home, BUT in many many parts of the worl, including the West, many men still prefer to see the role of the wife as described in the magazine.
I am not confused. But your outdated beliefs about the roles of women suggests a little bit of thoughtlessness. It is what men USED to believe before they were educated about the other sex.
Where not confused dmighty, we're laughing at it as old fashioned and sexist. You're the one promoting it.
and they do the decisions on their respective places. The other needs to agree and make a common decision to make it work. Is that what you mean, Gypsy? I agree with you!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
dmigtysolomon said If anybody finds the article immoral, please raise your hand.... ...
I am raising my hand. What a BS! It's like admitting that men are not capable to do anything for a relationship, that they are the spoiled loser who always have to be taken care of. Who wants such a man? And what kind of men wants a brainless maid to be his wife? Yay, grow up! That's like the requirements of a 3 years old boy. You want a wife or a younger version of your mother??? I hate it when men are spoiled like that...
Yes, I'm in a very happy relationship.
No husband. No wife. No one answers to anyone else.
We both cook, clean, earn money, and lead fulfilling lives. We don't answer to one another, and don't question each other.
We simply respect each other. A relationship of equals.
And we are both very, very happy. Thanks for asking.
the article was written more than half-a-century ago! That's crystal clear! Why, are you one of those confused?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Husband and wife are words dmighty, a marriage is a partnership, neither side is dominate. For a marriage to work both parties need to make the decisions and agree on things.
Property is implied dmigty. Read between the lines. If a woman is not allowed to voice her opinion, or disobey her husband. Do you really think she has control of her own life?
I never mentioned you by name, did I ?
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
Your last sentence is bang on the money.
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
you just said it, MP! Never in any of my posting even imply that?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Just in case anyone was confused. That article was written in the 1950's. As time progressed and the more men became educated, the more they realised that a woman is their equal. Believing women are subservient to men is an ignorant way of thinking, and shows how little they understand about the opposite sex.
so it was limited to that line. If it dealt with the success of a marriage, then, the role of a woman and man will be discussed extensively!
Are you married, fubar? Are you happy? So you woman can be anywhere, no specific "place" to occupy? No specific husband or wife? Both are husband and both are wife?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
No dmighty, because they knew it for the horseshit it was.
then wife, she would have laughed and ripped it up.
Thats just an article written by a sexist man in an attempt to explain why he probably treated his wife like shite.
Contary to what a lot of muppets in QL think, a wife is NOT the property of a man.
And before yer all start quoting the quran or the bible to me, dont bother cos i dont care.
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
Marhabtain...knows where exactly the place of women is...according to him its in the kitchen tied to the cooker..lol
fubar, so true.
chaud
Wow. A woman has her 'place'... I can't believe people still talk that way.
What exactly is the woman's place? Is it the kitchen? Or is it more like saying her 'place' is to be subservient to her husband?
I can't imagine any of my friends, male or female, wanting a marriage based around such a sexist and outdated notion. Incredible to believe there are still people peddling that nonsense.
and it's not absolute!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
I showed it to them ages ago. My grandmother laughed her ass off as did my mother.
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
was it written that way, alone, one sentence? Honestly speaking, in our marriage sermon, this was taught. But explained more and not as concise as this. Really, a woman must know her place in marriage and for sure man also has his proper place.
No right to question him was preceded by if the decisions are fair and true to what was to be. But if it's an obvious wrong one, it will be stupidity not to question him, but respect should be always there. It's not absolute! Was there in the article that said it's absolute! You viewed it negatively, for sure its funny and sad, but viewing it objectively, maybe, just maybe, it the secret for a lasting marriage. And I challenge you, Gypsy, ask you parents and your grandparents about this article, ask their comment!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Perhaps 'slave' is too strong a word.
Instead we should just call wives 'maids', although maids get paid...
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
ok dmigty, lets reverse the roles. Since we all know women are as capable as men as bringing in an income that can support a household. Lets see how well you would perform as a "housewife", and how much you would like living your life to serve and please your wife. I can tell you now, you would be fighting for your say. And don't even bother trying to argue that women can't perform work duties as well as men, because everyone with any scrap of intelligence knows they can.
Empathy is the ability to have an understanding of what things are like for someone else. I can tell you do not have this trait, or you would realise what it feels like to have an opinion that does not matter, and have thoughts that will never be heard. Put yourself in a woman's shoes Dmigty and try and understand.
Because we all know that a woman doesn't need to act like this to have a happy marriage dmighty. She can be happy and the marriage can be happy too.
and she can come next day. Does the husband should question with his face of anger and jealosy ? why the respect and love in a one-way traffic
'You have no right to question him'
'A good wife always knows her place'
What a crock of crap!!
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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.
you prefer a picture of warring partners? And that will make you happy? Because this picture makes you sad!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Is the 'Good wife' certificate worth all these slavery? I doubt..lol
Actually in most offices you can question your boss, if you have a good boss. Also my boss pays me, and If I don't like my job I can quit. Bit different than a husband.
don't react by line!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
The sad part is that in many many parts of the world today, this picture is used as the role model for a wife ..
and now I know your meaning for slavery. So if you find an instruction in the office that you can not question the "boss" for their decision, you are slave. Now, I understand it! That's why so many people including me questions the "exit permit" policy because we are not slave! But did they listen to us, so far?
And tallg, so you think many funny people during the 50's, eh?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Not a slave, huh?
I beg to differ:
"his boring day may need a lift and it is one of your duties to provide it"
"show sincerity" (rather than 'be sincere')
"his topics of conversation are more important than yours"
"NEVER complain"
"DON'T complain"
"offer to take off his shoes"
"DON'T ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity"
"you have NO right to question him"
What part of do whatever he asks you, don't question him, etc DOESN'T imply slavery?
The reason it's funny is because it shows a dated view of how a housewife should behave, and in the UK we can look back on this a chuckle at how things used to be compared to what it is now.
But some countries still share the view that this is how housewives should behave, so obviously the humour would be lost on them.
Different cultures find different things funny.
the recommendation and suggestion in the article. As I said, the article is not funny and not sad also. Only those with so much negative things in their life see it that way! Be positive people!
I am not, for sure, in the minority! There is nowhere in the article that says, wife is a slave or suggested she should be! But if that's what you think, no way to argue with you! I'm just thinking what kind of life your husband has? and would have?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
Who cares,, what is she doing out of the kitchen, bitch slap her...
Power to the non believers, it’s a great feeling to have and hold.
To think my grandmother and grandfather are celebrating 60 years together this year and my parents 33 and my grandmother and mother NEVER acted like this. Must be those weak marriages dmighty is referring to.
imagine, the wives stay all night out
and come back next day
imagine the funny , joker faces of husbands !!!!
LOL..
LOL..
My mom was like that we tried to match to ascertain extend .but I wouldn't imagine any of our new generation doing it.
you're full of negativism in your life. Be positive once in a while and you'll see the beauty of this life.
If this article offends you, I really pity your husband (if you are married). He's always on a look-out on anything that he may commit a non-serious wrongdoing that would end up the relationship!
Checking your profile, I'm not surprised at all! You belong to the present-day STRONG women who thinks their equality with men is a generic rights!
Look at the last sentence, a good wife knows her place. If I may add, the man should also know his proper place and treat each other places' sacred
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
not slap no slap only kissy only kissy
Power to the non believers, it’s a great feeling to have and hold.
I can't wait to see/read what this topic will lead to.
But on 2nd thought...who cares? :-P
I think you will find dmigty that you are in the minority. Intelligent men do not want a maid as a wife, they want their equal. It's a partnership in every sense of the word. Suggesting men want women to be compliant and obedient is as offensive to many men as it is to women.
I think I have a great marriage, but it is nothing like that picture and article. My husband comes home after work and cooks wonderful dinners, he adores me, he takes really good care of me. What is the saying...I am a "kept" woman
Motherhood...The hardest job you'll ever love! : )
TEXAS WIFE
Dmigty, you questioned what is funny about his article. You are right, it is not funny, we assume something is funny when we laugh at it, but in this case, it is bitter laughter.
What is sad about this article? Is that someone who can be as kind, as loving, as passionate, as compassionate, as ambitious and as intelligent as someone else, is pushed into a role that tells them they are worth less. That their thoughts and curiosity and ambitions are all not worthy of consideration or respect and that their role in life is to fulfill their husbands desires.
It's oppression pure & simple, and it treated women as if they were less than human.
the article speak of a situation and somewhat a recommendation of how to be a good housewife. It's not mandatory but purely suggestive. It was not an instruction so I think not to be associated with women's any progressive actions nowadays! If one follows it, then it will be a big factor for a stronger marriage ties. If one tries to ignore it, no one to be blamed if marriage fails! It's just how you will handle the relationship and the article is a very good one!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
its not slavery not in the least, a good house wife may do all that out of love, if she is forced it may be called slavery, but if one does all that willingly , as it mentions in the article , it surely gives personal satisfaction when u want to impress and satisfy some one so special in your life,
for me, the job of a house wife is not slavery, its the duty which she abides out of love and sincerity ,
not questioning when he is whole night out is something wrong,
once in a while staying out late or coming home late is ok, but still we do have right to questioning,
marital life can only be successful when there is true love , understanding , sincerity ,
but it also doesnt mean that the husband or wife must do deep enquiries into each others matter and force the other to do his own will,
things always turn up good if u do them with each others consent,
thats my view
Even worse.. they began to burn their bras.. Things went 'downhill' after that :(
Well, yes, the 'marriage' may have been stronger, but the women were never less fulfilled.
Don't forget that it was this level of general dissatisfaction with life among women that first spawned the widespread use of anti-depressants (valium, bex etc), the writings of Germaine Greer and Gloria Steinem, and finally the feminist revolution.
It goes without saying - the women were not happy. At all.
My grandmother and mother never followed those instructions. And are you seriously going on a drawn picture? A picture probably drawn by a man.
does it look like the woman as slave of the man?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
I don't see my mother as slave of my father! What about your parents, Gypsy?
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
So marriages are stronger when women act like slaves?
and what is also sad about this. If this is taken seriously, maybe it conveys something very good then that could be reminisced nowadays! I would presume marriage then is stronger than today!
"Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship"
"dgoodrebel is not plastic"
I used to have this taped to my wall in Uni :)
Didn't we and especially Gypsy discuss this at length last year ?? (Just before she decided that marriage wasn't for her :))
Very easy to say but not practical in this present age
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
from what it is now in the YEAR 2009. Therefore, the perception of what is a "housewife" at that time wouldn't fit the housewife of today.
Right?
it is just like me.looks like some one describe me as a 'house wife'.(Hope my husband is not reading it.)
a good housewife doesnt swipe her husband's credit card to the max
expect nothing, do more, love lots, smile often, cry sometimes but continue living....
"Househusband" is quite a well used term these days, in the UK at least.
This piece is amusing, but also shows how far countries like the UK have come in 50 years. And more importantly, it shows that countries do change if they're given time.
howcome the word "housewife" coined ?... is there any "officewife" too ??
why there is no word called "househusband"
If this is the case prevalent in the Victorian society, what can be worse in the underdeveloped countries ?
Yes, MissX, it is really sad.....
I would like to know what our Menfolk would like to say ?
They would like to harp on their chauvinistic ways ?