Chocoholic was cruising in the Bahamas and fell off the ship. She sighted a small island and swam there to find it surrounded by mountains made of cake and rivers of custard.
Britexpat wanted to sell his old car but was having trouble finding a buyer, because the car had 340,000 miles on it.
So he went to DaRuDe for advice.
DaRuDe said, "Keep it on the down low yo, I got a friend who can help".
Quietly he told britexpat, "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, brit took a trip to the mechanic on DaRuDe's advice.
About a month later, DaRuDe saw brit and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied brit. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
Chocoholic asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on Rizks to answer. He replies, "There are none left - they all fly away with the first gun shot."
Chocoholic replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then, Rizks says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
Chocoholic, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one thats gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Rizks replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
Rizks was bragging to Pajju one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, Pajju called him bluff, "OK, Rizks how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Rizks and Pajju fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Ya Baldy Rizks! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Pajju is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rizks that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Rizks says.
"President Bush," Pajju quickly retorts.
"Yes, I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, George W. spots Rizks on the tour and motions him and Pajju over, saying, "Rizks, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, Pajju is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Rizks, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," Pajju replies.
"Sure!" says Rizks. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Rizks and Pajju are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rizks says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And Rizks disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later he emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
By the time Rizks returns, he finds that Pajju has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to Pajju's side, Rizks asks, "What happened?"
Pajju looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Rizks?"
It's a jokes thread, it's for everyone I would guess.
Where's brit, by the way? He must be trying to concentrate on his work.
I heard he was complaining at the office the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
Qatar's winter months are brimming with unmissable experiences, from the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to the World Aquatics Championships Doha 2024 and a variety of outdoor adventures and cultural delights.
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This morning on the way to the mall for another round of shopping, Snessy drove into the back of a car in the Villagio car park.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
Snessy replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
Haha Choc :-)
Britexpat wanted to sell his old car but was having trouble finding a buyer, because the car had 340,000 miles on it.
So he went to DaRuDe for advice.
DaRuDe said, "Keep it on the down low yo, I got a friend who can help".
Quietly he told britexpat, "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, brit took a trip to the mechanic on DaRuDe's advice.
About a month later, DaRuDe saw brit and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied brit. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
Chocoholic comes to Rizks with a pair of penguins and says - "I found these wandering around - what should I do?"
Rizks says - "Take them to Doha Zoo"
Chocoholic walks off with the penguins in tow..
The next day , Rizks sees her in the car, with the penguins in the back seat"
He says to her " I thought I told you to take the penguins to Doha Zoo"
Chocoholic says - "I did. We had a great time and we are going to Villagio Cinema today"
Ecellent chocolate funnies!
Johnny Bravo calls 911-
Hello, 911 Emergency? There's a handsome guy in my bathroom! Hey, wait a second. Cancel that - it's only me!
????
chocholic, i was just joking....:(
infact, i was just pulling briteys little legs...:)
Rizks, if you don't like it you can leave :P
Chocoholic asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on Rizks to answer. He replies, "There are none left - they all fly away with the first gun shot."
Chocoholic replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then, Rizks says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
Chocoholic, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one thats gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Rizks replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
can someone kill me, i cant take britey's joke anymore.....:(
lol chocholic.....
Colt and you paid for our Travel charges ? :(
Chocoholic entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"
"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," Rizks wheezed, as he spoke, patted his chest, and seemed unable to continue.
"Do you have laryngitis?" Chocoholic asked sympathetically.
"Nope," whispered Rizks, "just vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry."
Rizks was bragging to Pajju one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, Pajju called him bluff, "OK, Rizks how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Rizks and Pajju fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Ya Baldy Rizks! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Pajju is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rizks that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Rizks says.
"President Bush," Pajju quickly retorts.
"Yes, I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, George W. spots Rizks on the tour and motions him and Pajju over, saying, "Rizks, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, Pajju is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Rizks, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," Pajju replies.
"Sure!" says Rizks. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Rizks and Pajju are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rizks says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And Rizks disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later he emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
By the time Rizks returns, he finds that Pajju has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to Pajju's side, Rizks asks, "What happened?"
Pajju looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Rizks?"
It's a jokes thread, it's for everyone I would guess.
Where's brit, by the way? He must be trying to concentrate on his work.
I heard he was complaining at the office the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
wait....this thread was in honour of Chocholic not ME....:(
... sigh....
LoL Colt...
Blank stare on Chocholic joke....:(
Rizks goes to Cold Stone and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."
Snessy, working behind the counter replies, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."
"In that case," Rizks continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."
"You don't understand, sir," Snessy says. "We have no chocolate."
"Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.
Getting angrier by the second, Snessy asked, "Sir, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla?'"
Rizks spells, "V A N."
"Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'"
"OK. S-T-R-A-W."
"Now," Snessy asked, "spell 'stink,' as in chocolate."
Rizks hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Snessy screams.
Rizks' wife is scolding her maid servant coz she cannot find her costly undergarments and is blaming her for stealing them.
The maid servant started to cry and went to Rizks and told him, “Sir, you know very well that I never wear undergarments!! Don’t you?”
Rizks, this is not meant for you.
Hahahahaha!
another Blank Stare.....:(
“Hey, could you pass me the chocolate pudding?” said corporal Rizks.
“No way, man,” replied the Private Mangal_Pandey.
“Why on earth not,” asked Corporal Rizks.
“Because , they’d court-martial me if I helped another soldier to dessert!” saud Private Mangal_pandey..
a Blank Stare.
so only chocoholic can post comments in this thread or others too can ? :(