Bumper Stickers...

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

If you are psychic - think "HONK"

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Where there's a will...I want to be on it.

Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it.

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done

Adults are just kids who owe money.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.