With apologies to my American friends :o)
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Why Your country is in trouble. (forwarded to me by a Canadian, of course!) *G*
A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa . "Her response - 'click'.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!" (LOL)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map." (OMG!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said 'FAT', and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it, (I was
laughing ). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is 'FAT' (Fresno Air Terminal ), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?" (My favorite)
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!" (Excellent)
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked
up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
(Blondie)
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in..
Ron Evans, Ticket Agent.
my lips are sealed ;o\
Oh come on, don't expect us to believe all these! They're way too dumb to be true!
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700 QL Points!!!
Yay! Way to go Ray!
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www.e4u.name.qa
Wait a go scarlett...
mental shortages in this post...As you well know, most politicians have perfect helmet hair. There fore, they use an inordinate amount of spray lacquer (hairspray for you other Americans), hair color and mousse/gel. It is my firm belief that the skin absortion and inhalation of the aforementioned items have caused severe mental damage. The rest of us normal Americans can't afford the high dollar stuff and the molecules in it are much larger so are not absorbed into the blood stream. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it!!
Montreal gets a second vote, if its a place with lots of pubs you're after.
It is the city of sinners and saints after all (so called because it has over 300 churches and over 300 strip clubs).
Damn I miss home!
Stay safe all.
Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?
I do have early dementia. I'm roughly four days away from a nervous breakdown if I don't get out of here.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco
where is she living? can she not find enough pubs to keep herself properly sh!t faced? poor brit...
if she's living in winnipeg or saskatoon, i'll be expecting an apology.
tell her to move to montreal.
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"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I
Yes. amazing - i think we helped each other. :)
no worries
My best friend is living in Canada at the moment because of her husbands work contract
poor girl - she loves the beauty of the place but the people just comatose her - she is scared that she will get early dementia
Always found canadians to be far more real and down to earth than their southerly neighbours........ Calagary stampede, what a great idea, turkey curling in the city center a few weeks ago - top idea. Keep them coming fellow patriots of her majestys commonwealth....
who would have thought that a canadian could teach a brit something.
i feel less inferior already.
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"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I
When people in the office started giving me funny looks, I'd stop, pull myself together and then get back to this .... HILARIOUS !!!
sorry I didn't know about the inferiority complex... i was always been so bored in the company of Canadians (apart from gypsy who is the exception that proves my rule)that I never got that far
Sincere apologies and I stand corrected - thanks for bringing this to my attention. we live and learn!
you forgot to mention our inferiority complex...
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"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I
LMAO, hilarious ! I gotta copy and paste it 4 my friends. Too funny!
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Mahatma Gandhi
13. so near to moaning - whinging - humourless - dorf -canadians?
(apart from gypsy of course :) ) who is the exception that proves my rule....