10 dumbest excuses to explain a crime

landloverreview
By landloverreview

Let’s face it. People will say just about anything to avoid going to jail. But some defences are downright stupid. XPRESS picks out the 10 most retarded pleas mounted in UAE courts in recent times -

CASE 1
ONE SIZE FITS ALL

Caught trying to sneak past Dubai Airport customs with hashish hidden in his shoes, an Afghan drug trafficker claimed he was in someone else’s shoes when he was hauled before the court. His plea: The drug-stuffed footwear wasn’t actually his as he had swapped his own warm ones with the ones of a compatriot shivering from cold just before boarding a flight to Dubai. “And you were sure his shoes would fit you just perfectly?” the judge enquired during the trial, before eventually delivering a fitting verdict last month — 10 years in prison followed by deportation.

CASE 2
GAME OVER FOR VAMPIRE

Confronted with bite marks on the cheeks, neck and thighs of a six-year-old British girl, a Sri Lankan driver facing molestation charges attributed the bruises to a vampire game he was playing with the child. “I acted as a vampire and we were playing a game when I bit her neck, cheeks and thighs. I did not kiss or molest her,” he said in his lame defence. Obviously, it didn’t work. Early last year, the Dubai Court of First Instance sentenced him to six months in jail. Mr Count Dracula was deported after completing his prison term.

By Dracula• 30 Jul 2013 16:01
Dracula

...a sharp blade for his di**...and hhharshhttttt...:)

By blisteringbarnacles2007• 20 Jun 2013 14:29
blisteringbarnacles2007

Lol... UK...

Has anybody tried "Working overnight at the office"?...lol

By FathimaH• 20 Jun 2013 14:24
FathimaH

I found the second case very very unnerving. Six months and deportation for such gross sexual abuse of a little girl? How frightfully messed up is that?? Guess all those would be pedophile expats would be pleased to know that should they decide to act upon their filthy pleasures all they'd get is six months in jail and then deported back home, free to continue!

By GodFather.• 20 Jun 2013 13:53
GodFather.

BB its all your fault that we end up coming home so late!

By blisteringbarnacles2007• 20 Jun 2013 13:51
blisteringbarnacles2007

KR after going home from your wild house party at 4.30 AM I said I lost my way while driving back from Fuwarait at midnight... so I parked on the road side and waited for the sun to come up to find my way...lol

Actually I thought of the punctured Tyre story and that I was not carrying the spare tyre but switched to the "lost way" story at the last moment...

By Iamthexxx• 20 Jun 2013 12:59
Iamthexxx

Camera never lies was the funniest!

Something to be noted: bite a young child in her necks and thigh and get away with 3 months. whereas have sex with the consent of opposite sex you are jailed for 1 year.

strange verdicts.

was also the emirati woman who watched the cozy act for solid 50 minutes charged with voyeurism?

By frez.joe• 20 Jun 2013 12:56
frez.joe

UKE ur hilarious story worse than KR, Lol ,,, i hope that u had a hard time during that 4 month period!

By GodFather.• 20 Jun 2013 12:13
GodFather.

I came home very late after a night out and the wife was furious and asked why I was so late. My excuse was that I told the driver to take me home and he took me to Dukhan, how did he managed to do that she asked. I said I told the Driver I worked in Oil Industry..

Wife was having none of that and I was grounded for a month..:(

By GodFather.• 20 Jun 2013 12:02
GodFather.

Rizks Can I fit a Shower in your bathroom to see how much water you use..:)

I guess it will be not be so much, as 50% of the water on average is used for washing hiar..:)

By landloverreview• 20 Jun 2013 11:58
landloverreview

In fact your wifeyyy is so kind :)

By Knight Returns• 20 Jun 2013 11:55
Knight Returns

Once I came back home late from office with red lipstick marks on my shirt....I explained to my wife that a lady had twisted her heels and fallen over me in an elevator but my wife wasn't impressed. I had to sleep on the floor for a night...:(

By Rizks• 20 Jun 2013 11:28
Rizks

no wonder my ol pal Dracula isnt seen much these days here in QL...:(

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