I am sorry to hear that buddy :(
True we have to live with consequences of which actions and steps we took before.
Never lose hope or faith, you must know home will welcome you anytime ..
''Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. 'Discover''

Mark Twain