Your Goatee is safe..

You were atually attacked by a radical wing of the "Anti Hoof" brigade of Al-Cowda. (Not to be confused with Al-Qada).
Al-Cowda has vowed to rid this region of hoofed animal without udders and all those who associate with them.

The suicide squad of Al-Cowda attcked you, whilst QL was destroyed by a suicide fresian who was a ecent convert..

Sattelite imagery passed to an AWAC flying overhead at the time, showed that Goatee managed to commandeer a jetski and was last seen heaing toward Dubai..

Fare ye well oh furry creature. Your love may yet be found !