JAPANESE SCIENTISTS HAVE CREATED A CAMERA WITH A SHUTTER SPEED SO FAST, THEY CAN NOW PHOTOGRAPH A WOMAN WITH HER MOUTH SHUT.
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A BOY ASKS HIS GRANNY, “HAVE YOU SEEN MY PILLS, THEY WERE LABELLED LSD?”

GRANNY REPLIES, “F*** THE PILLS, HAVE YOU SEEN THE DRAGONS IN THE KITCHEN?!”
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LITTLE BILLY ASKS HIS DAD FOR A TELLY IN HIS ROOM. DAD RELUCTANTLY AGREES. NEXT DAY BILLY COMES DOWNSTAIRS AND ASKS, “DAD, WHAT’S LOVE JUICE?”

DAD LOOKS HORRIFIED AND TELLS BILLY ALL ABOUT SEX.

BILLY JUST SAT THERE WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN IN AMAZEMENT.

DAD SAYS, “SO WHAT WERE YOU WATCHING?”

BILLY SAYS, “WIMBLEDON!”
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A WOMAN STANDING NUDE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR, SAYS TO HER HUSBAND, “I LOOK HORRIBLE, I FEEL FAT & UGLY, PLEASE PAY ME A COMPLIMENT.”

HE REPLIES, “YOUR EYESIGHT IS DAMN PERFECT!”
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HUBBY GETS NAKED & ASKS WIFE, “WHAT TURNS YOU ON MORE, MY GOOD LOOKS OR MY SEXY BODY?”

WIFE LOOKS HIM UP & DOWN AND REPLIES, “YOUR F***IN’ GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR!”

^>*^>*^>*^>*^>*^>*^>*

If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good. - Dr Seuss