5.) "I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?"

I love this one...I'm gana use it on my profs

"I can't go to the exam today cause I'll be stalking my previous professor, who failed me cause I didn't do his exam...OK ??" LOL

or I can use the voices in my head excuse lol...ah so many choices!