Excuses for Not Going to Work
Best Excuses for Not Going to Work
1.) "If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today."
2.) "When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it."
3.) "I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) for the clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up New York Times. Accordingly, I will now be in late, or early."
4.) "I have to go in for a blood transfusion... My stigmata's acting up again."
5.) "I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
6.) "I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet, so if you really want me to come in..."
7.) "I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant."
8.) "Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling."
9.) "I accidentally converted my calendar from Julian to Gregorian and lost today."
10.) "I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
11.) "The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled."
12.) "The dog ate my car keys and we have to hitchhike to the vet."
13.) "Today I am compelled to remain an enigma."
14.) "My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it."
15.) "I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
16.) "Constipation has made me a walking time bomb and I have to keep my back to an open window.
....And they all got fired. LOL. TCOM, cool.
well better safe than sorry lol.
LMAO at ur hubby's comment. Just too funny.
16.) "Constipation has made me a walking time bomb and I have to keep my back to an open window".
It SO reminded me of my dear old Mum, she 'never went anywhere without her All Bran'. LITERALLY !
Actually, I once mentioned about my elderly mother's slight flatulence problem to my husband. He said: "Slight? That's how she propelled herself around the house!"
hmmm
I'd tell him "the voices in my head feel that taking an exam would only make them angry...and last time they got angry, someone ended up in a coffin, so u REALLY want me to come to the exam? :D"
lol good for u
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
5.) "I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?"
I love this one...I'm gana use it on my profs
"I can't go to the exam today cause I'll be stalking my previous professor, who failed me cause I didn't do his exam...OK ??" LOL
or I can use the voices in my head excuse lol...ah so many choices!
LOL..for those excuses u'll get paid vacation :P