Unbelievable comments
After just seeing the incredible movie The Stoning of Soraya about an Iranian women stoned as her husband wanted to marry a 14 year old and did not want to fincially take care of his wife so killing her was advantageous, sick. Imagine my surprise to read the opinion of a father below! Will men ever change?
http://gulf-times.com/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=301003&ver...
Disciplining children:
Mana Naser, From: Qatar, The best way to inculcate discipline in male children is to tell them, by practical means, that money cannot be earned easily, so that they don’t waste their money, and that is an important lesson.
On my part, I took my children with me to my office and showed them how I deal with people.
For girls, the mother should play a vital role in teaching them how to be obedient to their husbands and that should be done in a very early stage of their live. If you don’t take disciplinary measures, they will go out of control and it would be difficult to change them then.
I don’t want to be aggressive with my kids, but if it is the only way to produce a good generation, one should not hesitate to do that for the interest of society.
Bob better you go to gym in UK 4-5 times and love the wonderful open sex culture there rather then to complaint here
I agree with QatariLady
What I follow is :-
1- No TV if test is within two three days time.
2- Food in good taste and always on time.
3- No talking to kid for a while if she behaves badly.
4- Kan pakdi (Stand up and sit down if she doesn't brush before going to bed)
5- No touching of little sister if she doesn't flush the toilet before coming out
I remember few incidents when I slapped my elder daughter ever.What I think that while giving the punishment we should level down us to the child's level so that we can think properly that how to punish that she can understand why she is getting punished.. Isn't it
I have to strongly disagree with the Nigerian lady and the Egyptian guy.
I really don't think beating is right. My parents never hit me but one lecture from my Dad and one of my Mom's cold stares was enough to let me know Id better not do "it" again. I think I turned out alright for the most part :)
Qatarita, we finally found something that we both agree on... so does genesis.
fubar: you're being too sarcastic. We use other people's time, and most of us have time for our children.
No time? What are they busy doing?
Cooking - no.
Cleaning - no.
Washing the car - no.
Laundary - no.
Ironing - no.
totally agree on the "inferiority complex". In addition to that, i think many Qatari parents nowadays don't spend quality time with their children let alone their wives. Their idea of a leisure time, would be taking the family to a shopping mall.I've seen many times, Children as young as 6years left roaming alone in a mall.My friends looks surprised when i tell them that i take my 3 years son swimming or that i take him to aspire park to play while i jog. and when i argue how important this kind of bonding for a child personality, the same excuse pops-up "there is no time".Sadly there is no time for the family, but plenty of time for the Majles or shesha
Well spotted Fubar. I suspect its because the majority of Qataris are preoccupied with the gathering and display of materal wealth.
Although they will never admit to this (openly) and may take great offence when being faced with it, the fact is we in Qatar belong to a small society that are not developing properly.
One of the probable reasons could be the fact the Qatar 'developed' later than other Gulf states & because of the constant cross comparisson within these states, may be one of the factors that lead Qatar to also develop an inferiority complex, this is what initiated the showcasing of wealth (or the impression of having wealth) epidemic in order to cover up that complex.
People will go to great lengths to do this, beg borrow or steal just to make sure they feel more empowered than others.
Religon for some is a tradition, they cherry pick what suits them, or some continue living obvious farses like some hejab wearers who do so for the sakes of others & so they are not the odd one out & not because they are convinced of it, similarly like drinking or fornicating or stealing, even though its obvious as the nose on ones face so long as its not spoken of (the unspoken rule!) they dont want to have the focus unless Everyone else is doing it. Like a giant bubble transparent and on the verge of bursting.
Most all their descisons are based on what others think or say.
The previous generation was believe it or not far more sophisticated than my generation and the budding new generation, which appears to have an even weaker grasp of reality.
Thankfully due to my unique experiences & the way I chose to adapt & grow in life coupeled with the fact that I havent lived here for periods of time long enough to get infected with this vice
IMHO we in Qatar take one step forward to parallel our version of the west and when in reality we take two steps back, in a 'monkey see-monkey do' manner, resulting with very little personal cultivation.
The majority of Arabs like to do a lot of talking and even when, in the midst of chaos they always revert back to this selfserving power thirst on an individual level which is why they never seem to progress as a nation either.
As for child rearing and manners, its not a priority, even if it were to be one they would have to 1st closely examine themselves for inorder to be examples. No one like accountability here.
This is the current state, things may be open to change, observation is not a generalisation, simply a note about the majority.
He's talking about how girls have to be taught very young to be obedient to men. For male children he is concerned that they learn the value of the money they squander on luxury items.
I find nothing out of the ordinary here.... :-)
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
The only thing that strikes me as strange regarding the Qatari's comments is that he only talks about money. There is no mention made abot his children being respectful, or well behaved in public, or doing as they are told. All he cares about is money.
Perhaps his comments were shortened to fit into the newspaper?
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
Lolz AbuAmerican :)
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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
AbuAmerican,
The difference is that some choose to wash (thus improve), and some choose to remain stinky/smelly.
"Western females are, generally, expected to work and are equal candidates for job opportunities for equal salaries."
By law "on paper" yes but in practice a western woman has to give double the effort to be equal to a male employee.. I don't live in the west but I read a lot of books written by western writers who reveal these kinds of truths because they expect them to be read by westerners..
[quote]:"After 5 years in the Middle East, I also have a feeling that it is fairly normal for Males to beat females, something that shocks me every time I hear/see it."
It's not normal.. A woman can sue a man if he beats her..but it happens and please don't tell me it doesn't happen in the west..I hate to see you lie! :)
[quote]: "Now, the presence of NANNIES makes the situation even worse as children are largely raised by somebody that has a 'labor' status and often gets treated that way, which can never be good for a child as he grows up learning to look (and talk) down on humans/females."
I agree totally with this..The nanny's role is to help the mom with extra non-parenting issues not to be a substitute mom..
no comment...
It differs from Arab country to country as the cultural and social & financial situations vary.
I cant speak for the entire Gulf, but if they are similar to us here in Qatar, i notice that the majority coddle their children with material things to the point where child grow up to presume it affords them a false sense security and superiority. The presence of the Nanny and lack of the parents further componds the problem and thats why they grow out of control in comparrison to the west.
I personally have an open dialoge with my children where we discuss pros and cons, individual accountability of everything and I allow them to ponder the consequences and impact of choices they can take or the result of. I even involve them in major desicion making and Thank Allah they are maturing beautifully.
As for discipline I find that grounding is the best method and again thankfully I hardly ever have to revert to that.
The man $1 to woman 50 cent thing is part of sharia law regarding distribution of wealth AFTER the demise of the parent. This is one of the ways Islam advocates and supports family bonding because it teaches the sons to finacially support their sisters aswell as their wife, because in the event that a woman gets divorced/widowed her brother is obligated and raised to take care and provide for her.
lol, i read this in the paper this morning and immediately saw how it could be mis-understood. I would say he means good but the comment is not polished enough for the press.
anyways, too wide a subject
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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
QatariLady,
With all do respect, the difference is cultural.
Arabic women enjoy less freedom when compared to western, in Kuwait a Kuwaiti explained met that the man is worth a Dollar and the Female 50 cents (he explained this when looking at a divorce). Western females are, generally, expected to work and are equal candidates for job opportunities for equal salaries.
After 5 years in the Middle East, I also have a feeling that it is fairly normal for Males to beat females, something that shocks me every time I hear/see it. What shocked me even more is a Saudie idiot that explains on TV HOW to beat a female, he compares the act with children and dogs!!!!
Back to children, overall the female is in charge in the house but subject to presence of the father. On the street the police rules and the mother has fairly little influence on the son. Now, the presence of NANNIES makes the situation even worse as children are largely raised by somebody that has a 'labor' status and often gets treated that way, which can never be good for a child as he grows up learning to look (and talk) down on humans/females.
I agree with you that most western kids are less out of control than most arab kids but not for the reason you stated.. From what I know being an arab woman the difference in disciplining styles.
Most Arab moms are either overly permissive or overly authoritarian
Half the problem is the PC brigade who don't allow discipline in classrooms and smacking at home..
Though the odd slap seems okay to you, for others it may be child abuse which may affect the child mentally their whole life.
Some people simply scold the child if they do something inappropriate but the most effective is education so they behave properly in the first place.
Now, does an anti-Iran propaganda tell us how MEN are?..If any thing, it will tell who sick the producers are!
Disciplinning children does begin at an early stage that's true.. On what values the discipline is based that's a different story..
I think all comments were viable..
I am one of those that believes that the odd slap on the legs does not harm the child.. Others will no doubt disagree..
Parentingis not an exact science and we are all individuals. We have to do the best we can within our confines..
"For girls, the mother should play a vital role in teaching them how to be obedient to their husbands and that should be done in a very early stage of their live. If you don’t take disciplinary measures, they will go out of control and it would be difficult to change them then.".......WTF????
smile lots laugh more
i don't see anything wrong either.
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye tho khana free.
no comments!
Eve,
What is wrong?
I do not see the problem in what the Qatari is saying. To me he makes sense.
The Egyptian idiot however seems to have no shame
[Quote]
With such kids, exemplar measures should be taken to discipline them.
However, I am for beating kids, if needed, without being severe.
[Unquote]
Either way,
Beating is, just like yelling, a sign of incompetence from the parent. So every time someone hits his child, HE HAS LOST intellectually by design and default.
If you compare Arab Kids with Western Kids you see that European Kids are much less 'out of control'. This is in my humble opinion related to the value of western Females opposed to the value of Arabic females. The females in 'the west' are equal to the men, hence share status in the eyes of the child.