Is kissing your husband a crime?

what happens if u have loud sex in your bedroom and neighbours hear u ??

well, i'v witnessed people kissing & smooching in the dance clubs like about 100 times..!! not wrong that there is no permission for this, but it just seems u were unfortunate for someone to consider your action.

~noms~

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"Before God we are all equally wise ' and equally foolish" - Albert Einstein

TELL THAT GUY TO F*%K OFF!!!

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By verisimilitude at 2009-08-29

Shameee, But learn ur mistake.

I thank ppl Qataris citizen who are keeping effort less this country clean and save.

Tonsil-Hockey hahah!

In regards to the original post- yeah it seems a bit excessive if its a minor peck on the cheek. I do get the impression however, that there are so many horney people in Qatar who cannot contain themselves :P Lol you lot crack me up

People (the negative ones!), please, don't be so strict!! I was just asking a simple question, based on a very unpleasant experience!! I was just describing a situation that I lived within 2 weeks of 'living' here. I came here wanting to make the best of my time, to learn about the culture and the people in the best, most positive way. Why do you think I asked? To try to understand what the "status quo" is in Qatar. There's no need to layer your response with strict, (not to mention, in some people's case, hateful) judgment, prejudice, orders, demands, sarcasm, whatever!! I come from an ancient, highly civilized country that attracts thousands upon thousands of modern (and in many cases very ignorant) visitors from around the world every year - do you think I expect every1 to know EXACTLY how they should or shouldn't behave before or as soon as they step foot there? Why SHOULD I have such an expectation? Allow people the space to be HUMAN; to breathe, to THINK, to BE, to act with or without thinking, to LOVE, to consider and reconsider. As long as someone has a good intention and LIVES by THAT, please, (unless you secretly believe that they don't have the right - because those who wish harm on others actually wish harm upon themselves) RESPECT that they are willing to learn because they want to live their life according to love, respect and friendship. Perfection is not real, there is no such thing. Knowledge is also very relative. If you're out there to judge others, then you are not on this website or forum to communicate, you are here only to try to IMPOSE YOUR BELIEFS, so that you can feel better about yourself. And you probably don't even feel better about yourself cause you know your beliefs are full of demands that cannot really be met without fear, sadness or a strictness that is not real to the free human spirit or mind. May god, whatever and whoever God is to you (that is really not the issue here by the way!!) BLESS YOU and help you BREATHE your FEAR and ANGER away. PS. Yes, I cherish the need to fight 'globalization' and retain tradition. But you know what? That's up to each and every individual. This is the test of our time. We have internet, mobile phones etc etc- everything is accessible. We can utilize them for knowledge & essential communication or get "lost" in them - becoming overindulgent and out of touch with what;s actually around us. I saw this happen to my country - a very traditional place b4- now every1 is in debt cause they want the newest car, phone etc - consumer nightmare!! It can't be avoided as a society, so we can't blame "foreigners" 4 destroying our tradition. Each and every country now has thousands of foreigners coming in to settle for socio-political reasons. It's a different and real time; we have to adapt in the healthiest way! Our true strength comes not from unrealistic orders but from adapting as a whole and being self-sufficient and dignified as individuals. The important things, are freedom, health, faith and love- for ourselves, our country, our loved ones, mankind overall, nature, god and the universe! Good luck to us all!

Killing the husband is a serious crime.

LOL

its not a crime indeed. but for some other short sighted people they percieved the rules as it is to be implemented by anyone else. if he is a police or a religious leader assign for that purpose then i think there are some bounderies and areas where these kissing is to be reprimanded or disallowed.

i have also some experienced, but not too worst, i was reprimanded by a group of people wearing ID probably they are CID's but they are polite and kind when they approced us, unlike the way hotel employee reacted on you.

they brought us to the police station where they gave us some advice and information regarding the norms and culture of qatar. which is good and what is bad and what is allowed and not allowed.

the insulting event never took place, unlike your experienced, i think that hotel employee is seeking promotions or acting as a police. he should ask you politely or just remind both of you not to show affection in front of other people.

i understand that there are people who are very expressive and never thought what other people might think eventhough you are legally married.

sometimes we offended them without knowing that we offended them.

as per saying that kissing in public is insulting to them (qataris)whethere married or not.

obviously he/she is trying to empressed someone who is watching and maybe he is a qatari boss.hehehehe. dont think that all guys have the same attitude with this hotel employee. the CID's are not like that as per experienced of mine.

dexpolrer..honestly feel sorry bout the upseting situation u were put thru..but tis better to avoid kissing/pda here(even i thought the 5stars wud b an okay place, nowadays as the whole scene here has unfortunately taken a more conservative direction than the previous few years..best to put it behind you..

would like to point out that the hotel employee should have been reported to the management.This proves that the staff at the 5stars here in qataar are not always well trained,..i wud expect the staff to be more discreet,so as not to embarass u n hubby n point it out that its not allowed/without making you leave the place as if you robbed his family jewels..u should have complained to the management bout the way the hotel employee behaved..

It would be sad if Malaysia became a closed society run by religious dictators. However I do not believe that will happen. Live and let live and if the worse thing you see in a bar (I'm assuming you are there to watch the 'crimes' being committed) is a couple kissing consider that a blessing.

hey again^^ i apologize for bringing this medical clearance issue again but its just that i dont know where else to ask ..i am new to this site and it took me quiet along time to find and read ur ansewrs for my kestion .thank you very much u guys ^.^

i d like to add that on anothr site for ( qatar wannabes) i ve read that lots of poepl were rejected for somthing concerning thorasic spine ..i actualy asked my doctor to writ me a detailed report comanting on it and he did but it was very breif and they are expecting a detailed one , morover , the translator wrot thorasic column instead of writing thorasic spin ...

it will be very sad if they reject me for not geting the right report although i have tryed so hard and it cost me alot of money toget evrything ready . ,its not easy toget the doctor to writ u a detailed report as he would just writ that evrything is normal (if it is the case) . i know poepl have been waiting for so long but ,i ve been waiting for a a week an d i m gettign real stressed out . >.< i tryed to sumerize this as much as i could i got alot ofof oteh rquestions to ask but i ll be greatful if u could possibly ansewr this one , thanks in advance. you guys are nice (f)

you know what alexa... i thought i was the only one who noticed that and just tried to keep my mouth shut. but it's really obvious how bias she can be sometimes...or over analytical is the word... whatever... i'm off to dreamland zzzzzzzz...

Perhaps they dont want to check everyones ID to see whos married and whos not. If they let one couple kiss (briefly or not)the dance floor would be like a junior high dance.

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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

you can hold hands but also in a regular way not rubbing it or kissing it ,but kissing lips to lips is a no,but on the cheeks also it should be a fast one and with a hi or hello thing not just sitting there i a restaurant just kissing each others cheek,in short i will give you this hint whatever action you might do or dress you might wear that might when seen by other men make them aroused(and excuse my language)you should not do or dress it and mind you there are men who are single and even married but alone here and didn't see or touch there wives in 2 or 3 years(got what i mean!!),and good luck in doha,and i am sorry for what had happened to you

imo, totally uncalled for. i know many couples who kiss in public, but its usually done in bars and clubs :S

Too bad u had to learn it the hard way.

eagle in M'ysia these religious bodies JAKIM starts catching people indiscriminately, given the sensivity that we are a multi racil and multi religious societies. How would you appreciate that even a foreign couple in a hotel room could get burgled up.

your hubby infront of others while in qatar....

what's the big deal?

be humble

Epsiode on Jailed Abroad.. you might then realise how dangerous it is..

That is right

Maybe it's the "thrill of getting caught"? I've heard some people do worst things in telephone boots for the sake of the thrill.

I don't think there is any need to go public in kissing one's hubby. There are millions of other opportunities to do this in private. Utilise them.

Intlxpatr

It's just not that hard. We are guests in the country. We don't make the rules, and it is in our best interests to know the rules, and to obey them. It's not like life is always fair in whatever country we came from.

Dexplorer, you caught a bad break with the over-conscientious security guard, and your post is a good warning to the rest of us that the winds of change are blowing. My husband doesn't even kiss me hello at the airport. We don't want any trouble.

Most of us are here for the jobs. Do your work, pay attention to the shifts in policy, keep your head down and find places where you can be yourself. There are churches here, there are interest groups, there are all kinds of things to do - even dancing and partying in private homes.

Like any place, your time here will be what you make of it. Don't let your experience cloud your vision. You can have a lot of fun here. It's a nice place.

I am Indian... and I tend to agree with what you said... the internet has brought about this sudden globalization and people are just beginning to hold back a bit so they can catch their breath...

your husband as many as you want.

lol

be humble

happygolucky said eagelmmanuel...I dont think chinese think the same way as Indians and may be Malays as you say, they are much open now and they feel proud that they have opened up and they want to move forward... u can see boys and girls kissing openly in Beijing... "

In Malaysia, it is a multicultural society. The main races are Malays, Chinese and Indians. Malaysian Chinese are not quite like ones from China, Taiwan, etc.

By the way, my statement was that "The conservatives (not just Malays, but the Chinese, Indians, Eurasians, etc) think like the conservatives here in Qatar." - to be more specific, the conservative monotheists. But even my Buddhist and Hindu friends, many think alike - they see the dangers of being too open and free. It all depends on the stage of development any country is at.

Of course, in Malaysia, there are some chinese just focused on making ends meet for themselves that they don't bother about the bigger picture. Not true of the Buddhists generally.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Welcome to Qatar, lady.anna

"i would like to know if i am going to do the blood chek up again in doha"

- I think probably yes but it depends. Your HR should know.In my case, I did my medical check up in Malaysia but had to do it here as well, at the local centre. By the way, there is a special section for ladies, less of a queue. :0)

"and how it feels being there for the first time , i am more excited then scared about this whol thing"

- Likewise when I arrived here last year. How it feels like depends on what you're used to back home, etc. For me, it was totally different so it has been really interesting! If your country is much more developed than here, pls lower your expectations or you'll get upset by minor irritations. Be alert,aware of your surroundings and have fun!

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

eagelmmanuel...I dont think chinese think the same way as Indians and may be Malays as you say, they are much open now and they feel proud that they have opened up and they want to move forward... u can see boys and girls kissing openly in Beijing... ________________________________________

One life to live, live it to the fullest.

PM said Eaglemmanuel, every time I have been in Malaysia I see ...a lot of teen aged couples (girls in hijaab so obviously Muslim) on what appear to be dates in the malls, restaurant and movie theaters. They are holding hands or sometimes putting their arms around each other. Is that not considered PDA? I've always wanted to hear the Malay view about this.

"

Yes, it is and it's a problem with our youngsters. We have some issues we need to deal with and Qatar is smart to learn from other people's mistakes.

The conservatives (not just Malays, but the Chinese, Indians, Eurasians, etc) think like the conservatives here in Qatar. There is a battle between the (loosely labelled) conservatives and the liberals as well. Need to move forward and it's possible but need to tread carefully. As per the yadda yadda I said yesterday.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

lady.anna won't be kissing HER husband in public... :-)

Good luck Anna...

regarding the French medical report, you should check with QA HR... its up to the employer...

Anyway, my employer really didn't seem to mind

But they won't reject you for a french medical report, that's for sure...

n/a

Welcome then. Except rather odd for you to introduce yourself in the middle of a thread.

hi evry body i am new to this site..

i ve attendent an interview in morocco for cabin crew position and on the congratulation letter i received from qatar airways i ve been told that i am tentaivly booked to travel on september , and i ve done the medicales and sent them the reports even some of them where in frensh i wish they wount reject me for that .

i would like to know if i am going to do the blood chek up again in doha and how it feels being there for the first time , i am more exited then scared about this whol thing ^.^ (looks like i am totaly hore sujetXD)

It depends on if the country is extreme, moderate and very moderate.

duped

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

a lot of teen aged couples (girls in hijaab so obviously Muslim) on what appear to be dates in the malls, restaurant and movie theaters. They are holding hands or sometimes putting their arms around each other. Is that not considered PDA? I've always wanted to hear the Malay view about this.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

" I can't imagine who told you it was okay to kiss in public (other than a very quick peck on the cheek) in a hotel, except in your room."

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Public display of Affection, specifically kissing, is not practiced or tolerated here, with or without the legalities of marriage.

My husband and I hold hands in public, and I don't think the police will catch you for this. The "kissing" part is another story

switwyf, agreed and some of us said as much earlier already.

"maybe the issue here is not the PDA but how they were treated by a staff inside that particular establishment.. i believe that a staff should have warned and asked them to leave the place in a nice manner and explained to them that its not allowed (if there is really a rule as such). in this sense, this couple will learn their lessons and will try to avoid actions like this in public next time around..."

- Precisely. I didn't and won't say it but you guys can read my mind, right? I already hinted in my earlier postie. Only if the shoe fits, suggest change perception. If not, just ignore it like water off a duck's back. No one will be any the wiser, only the student in the school of life.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Draccy wacky... ROFL! :0)

wacky_baby said .. the reason that she wrote her post is to ask everyone whether it is culturally wrong to do that as they are new in the country."

- Yup, fine. And she's thanked everybody for the heads up.

"...try to go out on all bars and see for yourself how other people are openly flirting with each other with the girls in their almost nude outfits. "

- Which is precisely what the authorities are trying to implement the discipline. The other side of that argument is that curtailing freedoms will just motivate people to go elsewhere. Counterargument - you can leave, there's a queue waiting to take your place over here, etc,etc,etc.

Bottom line - do your research and shift your goal posts. If like me, had no time to do research before landing here, I observed by surroundings first and then shifted my goal posties.

/Didn't know anyone in Qatar, didn't know anything about Qatar save for that 4 page info sheet HR gave, no one I knew, knew anything about Qatar. Didn't even know where it was on the map, etc,etc.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Don't want no swearing

No, no swearing, no, no, no, no swearing

.

MagicDragon said "He is never serious, QatariLady, I swear."

Eyyy! MD, no swearing! :-0

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

SpikenButchsMom said but the key is communication, and education...no written policies or rules. Furthermore, for those of us who have many, many years of Western living to overcome, it is neither an easy nor an automatic task, but one that takes time, learning and practice."

- Speaking generally and to no one in particular - Yes, but the no written policies and rules is yet another cultural thing - notices are kinda "in your face" and that's not the way Asians behave. This is MEA, still Asia. We are not that direct but we do communicate. We hint, give stronger hints, etc. But come on, you can't expect us to keep bending over backwards to accommodate everyone to the extent of losing our cultural identity. Just because you have been getting away with it, doesn't mean you can take it for granted.

Qatar is generally open, progressive and heading in the right direction but they are also concerned about ending up like Dubai and the trouble that they have to deal with - because of careless expats who took their liberties to overly great lengths, riding roughshod over the conservatives. Every action has a reaction - because of those careless expats, the rest have to suffer - far reaching consequences - so who's to blame?

The host country which has allowed you in as guests and wants to treat you as guests but you throw their hospitality back in their faces (unconsciously by ignorance) and insist that they accept your values (or lack thereof - for some, not all) - like freedom to have major PDA on the beach like that stewpide couple in Dubai. Actually, not even a couple, they were just acquaintances, right? So...

"There is a difference between those who ignore culture and custom and those who make honest mistakes due to incomplete or incorrect information."

- There is such a thing as observing one's surroundings first before bulldozing and riding roughshod over anyone who thinks differently. It's called a superiority complex and all it does is create defensiveness. When people are defensive, do you think they are listening to anything you are saying? The purpose of communication is to ensure your message reaches the recipients.

"My comment is not that we of the West should not give our all to adjust to the customs. My point is only that, like many of my Qatari neighbors, who have been so kind in pardoning me when I make a mistake, perhaps more folks here might be helpful in our faux pas instead of hurtful, and then everyone wins."

- There is also a limit, despite the fact that we're supposed to turn the other cheek, etc.but we are "work in progress" and struggle daily with our human nature.

Anyway, if you observe properly, Qatar does not want to end up like Dubai. Smart people learn not only from their own mistakes, they learn from other people's mistakes and therefore, suffer less.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

exiledsaint said I wonder how this hurts people. You're I'm a bar and a couple kiss..... Do you go into a frenzy when you get home and indulge in s&m with your wife and then make your kids watch porn?!?!?"

- No. It desensitizes people watching the couple. Esp if they are young, impressionable minds. (Edit - Yes at the bars, mostly matured adults but ... )

"Seeing a kid getting run over by a car here was much more distressting that seeing a man and a woman kiss."

- Agreed. And that's why you should be focusing your attention on the important things and not nitpicking your trivial hurt egos.

Basically, you are insulted that you have your freedom curtailed - but you don't see the bigger picture. You are thinking only of yourself.

As for curtailment of freedom - it's not really curtailed. You can have your private parties and do all the PDAs you like, and more, if your guests prefer similar freedoms.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

At least they are allowed in some place, not blanket enforcement and capital punishment if caught. By the way over here they do it in bed under the blanket without fearing someone up there is watching, do they

i believe some replies have gone out of proportion. if you would read carefully what dexplorer wrote on her post, she has full respect with Qatar culture and it's people. and whoever said about tonsil-hockey?? it's a brief kiss for goodness sake and not a make-out session. i am not justifying her action nor condoning it. but the reason that she wrote her post is to ask everyone whether it is culturally wrong to do that as they are new in the country. i believe they both mean no harm to all the people around them. and come on...try to go out on all bars and see for yourself how other people are openly flirting with each other with the girls in their almost nude outfits.

if you are an employee, in some org you have to wear prescribed clothing, in some other, you dont need to if you want....

in qatar, we, the expat, have come to do certain job and earn money....

they have their rules and what's the problem of obeying those rules ! come on !

in dubai, i used to hold my wife's hand while walking, in doha, we dont. sometimes, i used to kiss my wife's forehead in dubai, in public ofcourse, and here in doha, we dont..... what's the big deal?

if you want your so-called 'human right' go to moon/murs.... coz i DON'T believe even in USA you can intact your 'human right' if you consider this term by definition....

take it or leave it ... nobody's bothering you.....

In this instance, did and was rewarded with sunburn in unmentionable places :O)

He is never serious, QatariLady, I swear.

I read it, MD. I was asking about Brit. I prefer to think he wasn't serious.

Read what I wrote, QL: "Going naked, brit, is against human nature."

Gee, MD. So Brit was serious! OMG. Do 'normal' ppl go nude?

A kiss is a sign of affection, respect, greeting, farewell, good luck, romantic affection or sexual desire. Common sense says that this is all part of the human nature. Going naked, brit, is against human nature. I would initially feel ashamed.

Brit.. Way to go with your common sense :)

I think that sometimes common sense goes AWOL.. Years ago, I went to St. Tropez and the NUDE beach.. I knew the norms there and "went with the crowd".. A day later, I drove into Cannes for a meal.. Somehow my common sense told me to put on a pair of jeans and a T-Shirt, even though there were no signs around..

Verisi..Of course ignorance of the law is an excuse. No one is supposed to go and search for every law and every rule. Such things have to be set out clearly.

I'll teach you how not to be a backward country...

Whenever there are people from the West...

they expect laws back home to magically apply every where they go...

And if it doesn't... then you are backward... period...

Don't get me wrong... they appreciate multiculturalism...

But only as far as we can all follow their culture...

this law is not new

its been around for ages

ignorance of the law

is not an excuse...

Can't you read our minds? It's not rocket science.

It seems we're still an illiterate nation. Very rarely you see clearly written rules in Qatar.

Lol, brit.

I agree with the sign. People with hats should not kiss in public..

Well, at least they make it clear to everyone, QL. In Qatar you have to guess.

That's very interesting, MD.

it is not a crime to kiss your husband

it is though a crime to kiss your husband in public in Qatar...

if you don't know that by now dexplorer, then either you are naive or you have absolutely no respect for local customs and traditions...

A little bit of common sense would have saved you from your embarrassment and you have only yourself to blame

sorry for being rude, but you can't expect to break the law and then complain about how you were treated rudely...

PM said...

"I just had a QLer threaten that my reference to a link that someone else had posted on QL 2-3 days ago about a possible political situation in Qatar could have the authorities meeting me at the airport!"

Please do not misquote me... my comment was definitely not a threat... it was more a friendly 'be careful' remark...

I attach excerpts... (the link is also attached if you want to read the full comment)

"considering how you've had to have your older comments deleted

and had to delete your blog

and even had a real life stalker for which you sought police assistance... it is obvious that your online demeanor is reckless and self-detrimental

Even this particular thread... if it were to be brought up to the notice of authorities, you would have had a welcome party at the airport... the mods acted as much in their interests as they did for YOUR interests and you diss on them...

you ought to be more careful about your online identity"

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/640510?page=1

By the way this sign is from the UK; Warrington Bank Quay railway station!

My last offer on this issue: should be posted all over Doha.

medoha is right: Muslims are not allowed in bars. If Non-Muslims in bars kiss and hug no Muslim will be offended, because there are no Muslims in the bars. But that doesn't apply to the streets of Doha. Right?

We respect local culture of course.

Any muslim are NOT allowed enter night club and bar in Doha.

So why people (non-muslim)inside night club and bar are told to follow the local culture.

Double standard is applied in Doha.

One side - the hotel wants to get money from bight club and bar.

Another side - hugging and kissing are barred.

Everyone know that no one will be doing business in public.

Wake up backward thinking and stopping people don't do this and that.

Too funny! But inform them they are to stay in the American Midwest where they belong and not bring such nonsense to Qatar. ;-)

but the key is communication, and education. Most of what I have learned about PDAs in Qatar has been haphazard at best; there are no written policies or rules. Furthermore, for those of us who have many, many years of Western living to overcome, it is neither an easy nor an automatic task, but one that takes time, learning and practice. There is a difference between those who ignore culture and custom and those who make honest mistakes due to incomplete or incorrect information. My comment is not that we of the West should not give our all to adjust to the customs. My point is only that, like many of my Qatari neighbors, who have been so kind in pardoning me when I make a mistake, perhaps more folks here might be helpful in our faux pas instead of hurtful, and then everyone wins.

These are married Prairie dogs!

SpikenButchsMom - What a pity that common sense, curtural understanding and tact could not have been applied here. "

- Agreed. Works both ways. Respect for the local culture and vice versa.

However, note that the fact that the conservative locals have been tolerant and suppressing their irritation over the past few years, could have created this anger and frustration and blow up. The key is in having an outlet - a proper one.

NB: Pls remember that Genesis said - "... Conservative locals are making that their prime cause...And they are really really making a HUGE fuss about it. So guys, please don't ruin it for us. You can always leave. But we won't. And have to suffer the consequences"

Please think of others before yourselves. It is not all about you. Please see the bigger picture and help Qatar head in the progressive direction HRH the Emir is leading it - towards a sustainable competitive advantage in the long run, for the benefit of all. When the country and its citizens benefit, so does everyone in and around the country. Qatar is in its development stage, not there yet. Respect, patience, tolerance, perseverance, Qatar will get there some day. Don't give up.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

about an overt sexual act, we are referring to a brief, chaste kiss (presumably minus the "tonsil hockey," per brit- lol) between a husband and a wife. Such a thing is not considered to be a "sexual act" in the West, but rather an act of tenderness and affection. For most Christians in the West, even quite conservative ones, this would be akin to a married couple holding hands in public, and a celebratory act of the Blessings of Holy Matrimony, nothing "adultery inspiring" about it. It is easy to see why anyone who was raised in the West would find it confusing to be told that she was in error.

The proper course of action for the establishment should have been to recognize that and quietly nip it in the bud. If the folks had been gently tapped on the shoulder and told, "Beg your pardon, but that is not done here, and we please ask you to refrain," then no harm, no foul, and life goes on. It would have solved the problem, been instructive, and preserved face on all sides. What a pity that common sense, curtural understanding and tact could not have been applied here.

It's not forbidden in my country. And Khalid the Tiger would say: that's why you have so many rapists in your country. And that leads to the conclusion that there are no rapists in Qatar. Beautiful, isn't it?

Of course, the execution of the action for that complaint was badly done - since they embarrassed you instead. They ought to have done it quietly, unless they tried but you put up a fuss, etc.etc.

Just saying. Pls don't get insulted.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

"5* hotel would always prioritise customer service."

- Correct. And what makes people think they are the only customers? Yes, sure, make your complaints heard and I'm sure it's taken note of. But be aware of your surroundings.

As a Malaysian, we're culturally quite close to Qatar. We also have problems with the conservative and the liberals, hence why I understand the situation here.

Generally, we would maintain self control, even if we're in a bad mood and state our grievances to the relevant people - eg. managers of an outlet - this is not out of fear or weakness like most people like to think but the desire to save face - for the offending party.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Many people pretend to have a working visa, but all they have is a tourist visa.

MagicDragon said Since when is kissing between husband and wife "adultery"??

- And how to know that they are husband and wife? Many people pretend to be married but they are not. And do you think kids can't pick that out. Don't overestimate self and underestimate others, even youngsters. They are smarter than you think.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

USA Doc said "adultery is forbidden in all 3 major religions. It is a sin ,,, a major one too. if you Google this subject you will find that it is mentioned in the old testament as well as the new one."

- Again, literal interpretation vs the spirit behind it. Adultery is a sin, the looking at another with lust in heart is protective - rules are made to restrict certain things not to make people unhappy but to protect them, etc,etc, etc. Helluva long story.. if you read/seek, you will find it.

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Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Perhap it waqn't OK 2/3 years ago either, but people turned a blind eye. I don't want to turn this into an enforcement and "where are the written laws" thread, but most of us use common sense to know what is acceptable in a society we live in.

In this case, the lady says " think I've generally researched at least the basic 'rules'. ", yet she makes such basic mistake..

Btw, having said all of the above, for the avoidance of doubt - in private homes, you can do all the PDAs for all I care. I don't judge others or impose my views on anyone - in the same way I will not allow anyone to impose his/her views on me, whether or not they think they are smarter, more educated, more holy holy than me. I appear to be a doormat, but ... :0)

P.S - Pubs, etc. are not private homes.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

USA Doc said This is not about culture rather about religion. I think that this rule is common to all 3 major religions without exceptions"

- Err.. Buddhism and Hinduism are major religions too. You mean the 3 main Monotheist religions. But come on, it's also about the culture - defined as "the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another"

(Source - http://dictionary.reference.com)

"It is sad and equally unfortunate to see that religions have been commercialized, I.e... Ramadan is more about food than cleansing ones self of sins by doing good,"

- Cleansing of self - that's true here and in any other Muslim country or community where the believers are serious about their faith.

"Christmas in the west particularly in the US has turned into a materialistic event that people look forward to each year with total disregard to the lessons and values we get from those yearly events."

- And whose fault is that? People should take responsibility for their own actions, don't you think? Instead of letting things be "decided by omission". So the total freedom that is advocated and implemented has shown what results from it in the long run. And by the way, Christmas is not the most important Christian festival - it's Easter and the 40 day fast prior to that for spiritual cleansing.

Anyway, this is what Qatar is trying to ensure - that the freedoms and liberties enjoyed are enjoyed within reason. IMHO, this is wise and the right way forward. Certain quarters complain because they don't like their freedoms restricted but it's all a matter of adapting.

Anyone can do anything they put their minds to. If the objective is for good - whether it be the small picture of looking after the self and family, or the wider picture of looking after the community around, or the even wider picture of looking out for the world around us, etc,etc - good will return to you, one way or another. May not see it immediately, but it will surely come. Might not see it in one's lifetime (might die tomorrow, you see) but it will surely come.

"Come to think of it kissing in public is a violation in the christian faith even having a BF/GF is absolute adultery."

- It depends on the church leadership. I have been involved in many different denominations but remain in my original one. I see the good, the bad and the ugly :0)

"The bottom line here is kissing in public and committing other sexual acts has only led to more problems in society morally speaking. just look at how many kids are born out of wedlock each year.... the number is astonishing and that's just partly a by- product of publicly displaying sexual behavior."

- Agreed. Looking at it from another PoV - actually, to refrain from PDAs helps both men and women to really get to know each other first before other things cloud reality. If a couple starts on the basis of commitment, like arranged marriages/marriages before God, they can go quite far in terms of maintaining keeping it together.

Arranged marriages are good, in that the couple starts on the basis of commitment and their families will counsel and help when (not if) they run into trouble, and they can work things out. Ultimately, because of their commitment, focus and support. That is provided the families are sane and not insane.. But that's another story.

/I really have to work now. Ttfn!

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

I think this is the way to make up some lost ground in their normal Islamic society.

Just because Qatar did not manage to bag the Olympics is reason enough to curb the cultural openness and excessive friendliness towards foreigners.

Thats very primitive actions. Just how can you show the whole world that you are compatible when simple human gesture of affections is a crime. And its no wonder the rift in relations will always be miles apart.

Hi dexplorer....so sorry you had to go through that ordeal.

I believe the hotel staff could have been more discreet in informing you, rather than embarassing you and husband like that.

*Bunga*

You can't teach experience...

in public (other than a very quick peck on the cheek) in a hotel, except in your room.

Qatar is going through a strong conservative trend right now -- probably as backlash to some of the perceived opening up that has gone on over the past 10 years. I think we must be aware of this and check our behavior. Just because something was okay 3-4 years ago (or more), doesn't mean it won't get you in deep trouble now.

I just had a QLer threaten that my reference to a link that someone else had posted on QL 2-3 days ago about a possible political situation in Qatar could have the authorities meeting me at the airport! It never used to be like this -- that people were even afraid to discuss what is in the media. I feel like I'm living in Syria now, with the PDA laws of Afghanistan! lol

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

I love Qatar their customs and culture, but in this instance, I do believe it was out of line for the hotel employee to behave in such a manner.

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

definately not... not a football fan, firstly, and secondly, would rather stay as far away from the organised chaos as possible;-)

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

It was useless hence I deleted it

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets the rabbi who is supposed to perform the ceremony. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."

The rabbi answers, "No way! "Men and women always dance separately!"

The man then asks, "So after the ceremony you mean I can't even dance with my own wife?"

The rabbi replies, "It's forbidden!"

The man asks, "Can we finally have sex?"

The rabbi replies, "Of course! Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have many children!"

"What about different positions?" asked the man?

"No problem," says the rabbi, "It's a mitzvah!"

"Well then, how about a woman on top?" the man asks.

Rabbi replies, "It's mitzvah!"

"How about Doggy Style?"

"Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno film?"

"It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"NO, NO, NO!" cries the rabbi.

"Well, why not?" asks the man.

Rabbi answers, "Could lead to dancing!"

..

If you are in a bar as a local knowing that it is illegal(?),grant some liberty to the expat public. As I mentioned earlier,going by the OP,this was a misjudgement of the bar employee which caused embarassment to our friend here. It's not a cultural issue. If it was a parking lot then yes it would have been relevant to all that is being discussed here.

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

I mean something with strict rules.. no impudence for instance..

QLady: what is an UNCONFINED BAR??? you mean a bar can be set up right on the Corniche?? wow....look forward to it...lolz

I don't know for sure if it's haram on Muslims to 'tolerate' a confined bar or not.

Not sure why religion & culture gets mixed in these sort of discussions.....Whether to show public affection is a just cultural concept, NOT LEGAL, NOT RELIGIONISTIC.

There is certainly something beyond what is told here. A brief kissing causing an ejection looks a bit blown up as a 5* hotel would always prioritise customer service.

Sure there's halal dancing when no impudence is involved and women don't dance with men. We do dance in all-female parties. Not lesbo things because we're used to being around women without sex being involved :)

As-Sunnah As Saheeha

http://www.islamlecture.com/

is there something called halal dancing

As-Sunnah As Saheeha

http://www.islamlecture.com/

no one does prayers on dancing floor,neither you drink milkshakes in Bars

As-Sunnah As Saheeha

http://www.islamlecture.com/

MD.. One step leads to the other until things get out of control.

Only the french kiss reserved for the Qataris. For expats they can use the other kissing techniques like e-kiss, postal-kiss, flying kiss, running kiss etc.

I sincerely THANK everyone who has found the time to explain things to me about what happened to us, and why. To make me aware of what is appropriate and acceptable here and what is not. That's why I wrote the questions I did.

Yeah, shame on the "watchers", USA Doc. Shame on the "watchers"!!

Since when is kissing between husband and wife "adultery"??????????????????????????

Who is supposed to kiss who then? Boys boys, men men, and women women??????????????????????????

I agree. Besides what kind of example are we setting for our kids and what are we teaching them? that it is ok to watch and maybe practice sexuality?

Shame

ABOVE ALL DO NO HARM

If you're not an Arab, you don't have the 'privileges'.

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

Mandilulur, I hope you did not construed my comments as an insult. This is not a matter of opinion rather a fact. Adultery is forbidden in all 3 major religions. It is a sin ,,, a major one too. if you Google this subject you will find that it is mentioned in the old testament as well as the new one. After all, I am not a religious scholar but this is a common knowledge. No offense

PDA is unacceptable in Qatar for religious very sound reasons.

In the Quran Allah says: " And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way."

Note that He didn't say don't commit adultery, but don't come near it.

Besides, as I've mentioned in another relevant thread, going public in affection normalises it and ppl get used to it with or without marriage. It's not hypocricy, but a smart way of 'containing' affection and keeping sins to a minimum.

I wonder how this hurts people. You're I'm a bar and a couple kiss..... Do you go into a frenzy when you get home and indulge in s&m with your wife and then make your kids watch porn?!?!?

Seeing a kid getting run over by a car here was much more distressting that seeing a man and a woman kiss.

USA doc, "come to think of it kissing in public is a violation in the christian faith even having a BF/GF is absolute adultery"? Err, not in my Christian church. We even exchange the "kiss of peace" with each other during worship, male and female alike. And since when is dating adultery in Christianity? I think maybe you haven't been to very many churches and that's OK, but I'd rather you not speak for Christianity in that case.

Mandi

This is not about culture rather about religion. I think that this rule is common to all 3 major religions without exceptions. It is sad and equally unfortunate to see that religions have been commercialized, I.e... Ramadan is more about food than cleansing ones self of sins by doing good, Christmas in the west particularly in the US has turned into a materialistic event that people look forward to each year with total disregard to the lessons and values we get from those yearly events. I think sexual behavior should be controlled and should be kept private. What happened to Prophet Muhammad's teachings and the ten commandments? come to think of it kissing in public is a violation in the christian faith even having a BF/GF is absolute adultery. The bottom line here is kissing in public and committing other sexual acts has only led to more problems in society morally speaking. just look at how many kids are born out of wedlock each year.... the number is astonishing and that's just partly a by- product of publicly displaying sexual behavior. Just my 2 cents.........

You are always talking about "showing" it. It's not about showing, it's about "looking" away when it happens. There is no discretion in this country. They stare. They are looking to find you making a mistake so they can blame you. They should blame themselves for not looking away.

Well kissing,touching with intimacy etc is very "private" needs/actions of a married couple. This should be done in privacy without revealing it to others.

.

This what we call "MODESTY" in our religion ISLAM and if Westerners do understand the true deep meaning of it then there will be drastic decrease in their SOCIAL PROBLEMS

genesis said ... Well, some of us,Really don't mind.We wanted Modernity & change badly regardless of its impact on our culture. But apparently most do mind,And they are really really making a HUGE fuss about it. So guys, please don't ruin it for us. You can always leave. But we won't. And have to suffer the consequences ."

Absolutely right. I'm an expat and while I generally think like a Westerner because of my education but I generally think like an Asian, because of my roots.

There must be a balance and the liberals need to respect the conservatives and meet halfway / find the middle ground.

Liberal view is progressive and ensures sustainable competitive advantage for the economy and the benefit of its people. Conservative values are equally important - to ensure a check and balance. I have said it before and I'll say it again - total freedom is anarchy.

If both sides are granite heads and no one wants to compromise, respect and be flexible and adaptable, then there will be a stalemate and no progress.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

i don't know what the rules are.The flux happened all of a sudden. Maybe TPTB thought that most locals will welcome that & accept it like what happened in Bahrain or Dubai. Well, some of us,Really don't mind.We wanted Modernity & change badly regardless of its impact on our culture. But apparently most do mind,And they are really really making a HUGE fuss about it. So guys, please don't ruin it for us. You can always leave. But we won't. And have to suffer the consequences .

Please tell your husband only to kiss other men and you will be fine.

Sounds like the employee has their own interpretation of the rules and it differs from policemen to policement, time of day and mood of the 'offical'. Just relax, go to starbucks, have a coffee and a cigarette under the no smoking sign and then drive on the sidewalks killing a couple of pedistrians on your way.... but whatever you do, do not accept a hug from your husband if you are upset. This is equivalent to murdering small puppies and selling their internal organs to the Chinese...

My appologies, honestly that was what I felt when I read the thread and typed.Sorry if it hurt u, I am takin it back.

azi/xena.. thanks

cheers

______________________________________________

- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -

No one is talking about doing these things out in public... but in bars - places that locals don't/or shouldn't be going to... If you are out drinking, then you should accept all the other vices that tend to come with it... such as seeing couples being affectionate or revealing clothing...

Anything else is hypocritical...

I don't dress provocatively/drink or do PDA's in public -unless I am kissing a friend hello - so I do everything thats expected of me where I should... but in a place that is used to seeing such things, I don't expect to be picked on...

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

Sorry, since I don't go to bars, I didn't know that kissing my husband in one wasn't allowed. And I absolutely agree, ignorance of the law is no excuse. I just want to see the law!

Mandi

Mandi , no I havent got a printed book too. But how do me and you know it?.

''Unawareness of law is not an excuse''

______________________________________________

- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -

being cautious is our best defense, as you just have mentioned we're just a guest and argument with them will make us no winner.

.

.

.

take me or leave me, im not changing....

Azi/Xena - are we all kids? to do such silly mistakes for which you have to pay even your job and career??.

Would you go to saudi arabia and walk in your minis, get warned and whine about it on a public forum? It sounds silly and stupid to me. sorry

______________________________________________

- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -

PDA was over discussed here, Just hit the search button.As others elaborated a kiss on the cheek & holding hands is acceptable As even Qatari couples & family do that. Anything more is not .If you can't deal with that, i think you must re-consider your stay here. this will NOT CHANGE. Conservative locals are making that their prime cause. if you really have a problem with that, you better leave.

Shame!

.

Arien, tell me where I can read the rules of conduct for Doha, specifically the rule that says I can drink but not kiss my husband in a bar. if I missed it, then I am at fault.

Mandi

a bit harsh, don't you think?

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

did you get the same ättitude when you were new in the country?

I wish you were arrested and deported.

Being learned and read, you should be knowing DOs and DONTs of the place you go and live.grow up.

______________________________________________

- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -

like everyone is saying, kissing is considered as PDA. I agree with Mandilulur, here in Qatar, we don't have specific rules which is haram or not. Everyone just observe and try to be cautious (though some don't).

The lady commented that her husband kissed her briefly... they didn't 'make out' on the dance floor -

I have been at hotel functions in Qatar - where I was dancing with my boyfriend and we kissed numerous times - and we weren't the only ones, many were kissing, holding hands, hugging each other - BTW, we had a few of my BF's qatari friends with us - and they didn't bat an eye.

The other evening some friends and I went out to the Ramada... I started taking pics of our group in Bubbles Bar and security came and told me I couldn't take pictures... when I queried the manager, he said that there wasn't such a rule and asked security why he asked us that... The security guy came and apologised to us and said that someone at the bar had complained... now, for me, if you don't wanna be seen in a bar... don't go there... for gods sake, don't be so damn hypocritical...

The hotels and bars are a westerners escape from the real world... we go there simply because its the only place we can wear what we want(thats been stopped), drink what we want (hmmm... probably on the short list) take pics of our friends and us enjoying our time here (unless someone is trying to hide from the world and complains) and do all of this out of the 'local' eye, as NOT to offend your culture.... can you give us 1 place were we can be ourselves? As everywhere else in the country we do basically abide by your rules.... and we are quite happy too...

"if you don't like the heat... get out of the kitchen... but stop trying to fan the flames before you leave... it will burn you on the a** as you go through the doorway...." ME

visit www.qaws.org

Holding hands is ok. Britex's tonsil hockey, quite another:P

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

i guess you did just more than a kiss on the cheek dont you think to get that sort of reaction from the staff. i just dont understand why people complain and complain about our culture and religion . I guess you read and knew about qatar before you came to the country . So why come here in the first place if you keep complaining, why didnt you just stay back home . I have alot of friends who are expacts and they respect our culture and have been here for many years and never complained . i hold my husbands hand in public that is fine , so why dont u just do that next time . respect our religion before you respect our culture . Thank you :)

adios

i'm not a fan of PDAs regardless of country, yet we live in a country where it's acceptable for men to hold each others hands.

if that's not promoting pillow-biting then i don't know what is.

Gee whiz.. my internet connection is skewered...

Was trying to edit - "To each his/her own." to add -

But when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Basically, know the system / culture and work within it.

Democracy is actually abiding by what the majority decides - so Qatar or wherever is democratic if the will of its people (ie citizens) is respected by its Rulers.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Tonsil hockey?? Hahaha! Yeah, normal brief kiss of greeting on the cheek is fine, anything more than that will be cheeky and get you into trouble.

Agree with Andeee - "... its something "Private" and there is no need to show it..." This is also the preferred conduct / behaviour of many Asians, not because we're oppressed or suppressed. People who don't understand, simply dismiss it as being cold or frigid or whatever. To each his/her own.

The incident at the hotel - could be that employee had too many fears and overreacted or could also be the police officer who was there might have indicated that he was going to do something about, so to avoid the potential trouble, the employee did what he did.

Could be overreaction but could also be helping you. Note: current situation where Ramadan is coming very soon, establishments are notified to ensure "discipline" is maintained.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

GOD GAVE U A GOOD HUSBAND

GOD GAVE U A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE

AND GOD GAVE U ENOGH MONEY TO HAVE DINNER IN 5STAR HOTEL

GOD GAVE U A NICE HOUSE TOO

SO Y DONT U AND UR HUBBY DO THE KISSING.. AND ETC INSIDE THE HOUSE

IN THE PRIVICY OF UR OWN HOME

Y DO U WANNA MAKE A PUBLIC DISPLAY OF ART

MY BE IT'S NORMAL IN YOUR COUNTRY

BUT THIS IS AN ISLAMIC COUNTRY WHERE THESE THINGS ARE NOT ALLOWED

AND I THINK U SHOULD THANK GOD FOR NOT GETTING ARESTED

RESPECT THE COUNTRY'S CULTURE AND PPL WILL RESPECT YOU..

BESIDE PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION IS CONCERNED...

Y DO U WANN SHOW IT TO THE PUBLIC THAT HOW MUCH SOMEONE LOVES HIS OTHER PARTNER

ISNT IT ENOUGH THAT UR HUBBY KNOWS HOW MUCH U LOVE HIM AND VICE VERSA

------------------------------------------------------

My boss told me " you are fired"

I told him " boss i didnt hear the shot"

A bit over the top methinks...

Tonsil hockey is a no no.. Kissing on the cheek in public as a greeting is passable..

pls don't get lulled into thinking that Qatar is a "normal" place like the west. It is not. Even though in some respects it has been built to look like home, it really is not. Qataris are "proud" to be conservative, and the recent conflicts between the western and GCC thinking highlights this.

It ain't home and you can end up on the wrong end of the law here extremely easily....

also, this site is being monitored, so be careful.

Hiya

Displays of affection are not for others to see... if you want to hold your husbands hand, kiss him, hug him etc you can do all this at home... Its not the norm here or anywhere in the Gulf to show displays of affection. It is looked at in a strange way in the sense that its something "Private" and there is no need to show it.

Strange I know, but I for one do not feel comfortable if I am sitting somewhere - even a 5 star hotel - and the couple next to me are kissing away... maybe I have been here to long but to avoid any issues/problems just go with the flow ......

was being over cautious. You should have complained the matter to his manager. Things are not this bad behind closed doors here.

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

I'm sorry for your embarrassing and upsetting experience. It certainly would color my perceptions of Qatar as it does yours. I'll try to address some of your concerns as a long-term ex-pat. Kissing your husband is not, of course, a "right," nor are public displays of affection a shared cultural value here. But the primary problem with these questions in Doha is that there is not a single, simple answer. I would have thought that it was perfectly acceptable for you and your husband to dance and kiss in a five-star hotel as did you. But in this circumstance it was not allowed. There ARE NO written, consistent rules and when "rules" are enforced they appear arbitrary and capricious. I'm sure you would have been fine in other hotels MOST of the time as well - but who knows? There are many who will tell you that you should have known better but if there are no signs, no laws and no clear regulations except word-of-mouth, how would we know? As I have said before, in a culture and country different than mine I am perfectly happy to paint my face green and wear an orange wig - but you will have to show me in writing where this is the rule and everyone else will have comply as well.

Mandi