I have always been fascinated by human behavior; interpersonal behavior has been an area of my interest since my school days. I have been studying interpersonal behavior in psychology books, general books and in fiction. I also tried to study it in my life by observing myself and others. This is what I have found.
We ourselves are responsible for the making or breaking of any relation--- for the most part. It is our behavior, more than that of others, which determines how many friends we can win, how often we can do so, and for how long.
As to our behavior and person, there are a few things which we can not change, such as our physical appearance, our social position and financial status, and our capacity to communicate (though this one is not completely predetermined); and there are things that we can change, such as our interpersonal style, our lifestyle, our attitude toward other people and toward life in general.
Although it might appear that the non-modifiable factors (appearance and socioeconomic status) play a bigger role in the creation of our social circle than the modifiable factos, it is clearly not the case. In fact, it is the factors we can change that make the most of the difference.
The universal virtues of honesty, integrity, sympathy, straightforwardness, and selflessness go a very long way in the making of good friends. Selflishness, dishonesty, and lack of integrity, on the other hand, are sure fire recipes for interpersonal discord.
Those who possess the noble qualities manage to make good and lasting friendships regardless of the social status and ability to communicate. Those who lack them may still make many friends by virtue of their high social status or good communication skills; however, there relations are never deep and lasting.
Friendship like love is purely mutual. If you lose your friend, you should not forget that they lost you too at the same time. If you sometimes find yourself complaining of your friend not being able to give you any time, you should also remember if you are able to do so. And if you still are, what there is then that they have and you do not have. Why is it that you remember them whilst they do not. There has got to be something so good about them that you still care to remember them.
Not all friends are meant to remain in touch with you till the end of time. Friendship can still remain life long but it does not have to be based on continious communication between friends. In the modern age of computer technology, where you get a Facebook friend almost every other day, it may not be possible humanly to remain in touch with everyone all the time.
There are some friends with whom you will never lose touch. And they are very few and should be very few as one's busy life might not allow one to remain in contact with so many people all the time.
Instead of decrying our old friends' indifference, let us cherish the sweet memories of the friendship we had once. Let the recollection of those beautiful moments warm our heart and let us not allow any negative feelings do build up within us for our friends who, although they are not doing so now, were once kind enough to bless us with their time.
I have always been fascinated by human behavior; interpersonal behavior has been an area of my interest since my school days. I have been studying interpersonal behavior in psychology books, general books and in fiction. I also tried to study it in my life by observing myself and others. This is what I have found.
We ourselves are responsible for the making or breaking of any relation--- for the most part. It is our behavior, more than that of others, which determines how many friends we can win, how often we can do so, and for how long.
As to our behavior and person, there are a few things which we can not change, such as our physical appearance, our social position and financial status, and our capacity to communicate (though this one is not completely predetermined); and there are things that we can change, such as our interpersonal style, our lifestyle, our attitude toward other people and toward life in general.
Although it might appear that the non-modifiable factors (appearance and socioeconomic status) play a bigger role in the creation of our social circle than the modifiable factos, it is clearly not the case. In fact, it is the factors we can change that make the most of the difference.
The universal virtues of honesty, integrity, sympathy, straightforwardness, and selflessness go a very long way in the making of good friends. Selflishness, dishonesty, and lack of integrity, on the other hand, are sure fire recipes for interpersonal discord.
Those who possess the noble qualities manage to make good and lasting friendships regardless of the social status and ability to communicate. Those who lack them may still make many friends by virtue of their high social status or good communication skills; however, there relations are never deep and lasting.
Friendship like love is purely mutual. If you lose your friend, you should not forget that they lost you too at the same time. If you sometimes find yourself complaining of your friend not being able to give you any time, you should also remember if you are able to do so. And if you still are, what there is then that they have and you do not have. Why is it that you remember them whilst they do not. There has got to be something so good about them that you still care to remember them.
Not all friends are meant to remain in touch with you till the end of time. Friendship can still remain life long but it does not have to be based on continious communication between friends. In the modern age of computer technology, where you get a Facebook friend almost every other day, it may not be possible humanly to remain in touch with everyone all the time.
There are some friends with whom you will never lose touch. And they are very few and should be very few as one's busy life might not allow one to remain in contact with so many people all the time.
Instead of decrying our old friends' indifference, let us cherish the sweet memories of the friendship we had once. Let the recollection of those beautiful moments warm our heart and let us not allow any negative feelings do build up within us for our friends who, although they are not doing so now, were once kind enough to bless us with their time.