We human beings are so fallible indeed. We take mere shadows for true substances. Sadia had never felt so desperate about anyone in her life. Even two years before when she had a secret crush on her biology teacher, and when she spent about a couple months, completely absorbed in the man’s fancy, she never was so overwhelmed. At that time, probably she was more certain. She knew that her teacher would never allow any intimacy between the two of them. She also knew that it was against the norms of the society and the customs of her family to act in an indecent way. Therefore her secret infatuation was born and it died away without anyone knowing about it.
This time it was different indeed. Kamal’s thought seemed to obsess her mind and despite her trying to get him out of his head, she was unable to put him off his mind. What was really gnawing at her peace of mind was the uncertainty as to how much Kamal was serious. As a matter fact, in the start he had been very enthusiastic about the virtual relations. But his enthusiasm seemed to have faded away a few weeks later. It was evident even from the length of his messages to her. Initially every message was at least three to four paragraphs. Now, even the longest one hardly ever exceeded a paragraph.
Sadia could not take it anymore. She finally made up her mind to ask Kamal to speak his mind. She wrote this message to him:
Hello Kamal. I am so sorry for writing a silly message like this. Silly because by reading it, I am sure, you would think of me as someone so insecure. Perhaps you would think I am desperate. But I do not care. I have been taking you very seriously, and it is this seriousness which emboldens me to ask you this: do you have any feelings for me? Please do not hesitate to tell me what is in your heart. I just want to know the truth. Please.
Sadia waited for a response for almost a good few days. Kamal seemed to have forgotten her. She felt bad. She felt bad not just because he was not responding but also because she felt stupid about being so childish to attach feelings to a FB relation like that. Finally came the most awaited reply:
Dearest Sadia, I know you must be wondering how my attitude has changed toward you. You must be thinking why I did not ask for your picture even though I acceded to your condition of showing you my webcam. But I have a reason. It is a problem--- a family problem so to say. My parents want me to get married to a certain girl. And I am refusing. This has made my life hell. For the last one month, my dad and mom are not talking to me as usual. It is not that I dont want to act according to my parents will, but it is because I am refusing in principle. It is a long story, and I do not know if you would be interested in knowing it; however, to cut it short, my uncle had been killed by someone in the family of that girl. Now, the two families are coming to terms and are about to enter a settlement. And one part of the settlement is that someone from our family marries a girl (a punitive measure) for the family. The girl is 12 year old. How can I say yes? This is one problem I am having. There are others but I do not want to cudgel your head with my problems. I just want to let you know to excuse me for these days and not to feel that I am intentionally ignoring you. I hope that you understand.
We human beings are so fallible indeed. We take mere shadows for true substances. Sadia had never felt so desperate about anyone in her life. Even two years before when she had a secret crush on her biology teacher, and when she spent about a couple months, completely absorbed in the man’s fancy, she never was so overwhelmed. At that time, probably she was more certain. She knew that her teacher would never allow any intimacy between the two of them. She also knew that it was against the norms of the society and the customs of her family to act in an indecent way. Therefore her secret infatuation was born and it died away without anyone knowing about it.
This time it was different indeed. Kamal’s thought seemed to obsess her mind and despite her trying to get him out of his head, she was unable to put him off his mind. What was really gnawing at her peace of mind was the uncertainty as to how much Kamal was serious. As a matter fact, in the start he had been very enthusiastic about the virtual relations. But his enthusiasm seemed to have faded away a few weeks later. It was evident even from the length of his messages to her. Initially every message was at least three to four paragraphs. Now, even the longest one hardly ever exceeded a paragraph.
Sadia could not take it anymore. She finally made up her mind to ask Kamal to speak his mind. She wrote this message to him:
Hello Kamal. I am so sorry for writing a silly message like this. Silly because by reading it, I am sure, you would think of me as someone so insecure. Perhaps you would think I am desperate. But I do not care. I have been taking you very seriously, and it is this seriousness which emboldens me to ask you this: do you have any feelings for me? Please do not hesitate to tell me what is in your heart. I just want to know the truth. Please.
Sadia waited for a response for almost a good few days. Kamal seemed to have forgotten her. She felt bad. She felt bad not just because he was not responding but also because she felt stupid about being so childish to attach feelings to a FB relation like that. Finally came the most awaited reply:
Dearest Sadia, I know you must be wondering how my attitude has changed toward you. You must be thinking why I did not ask for your picture even though I acceded to your condition of showing you my webcam. But I have a reason. It is a problem--- a family problem so to say. My parents want me to get married to a certain girl. And I am refusing. This has made my life hell. For the last one month, my dad and mom are not talking to me as usual. It is not that I dont want to act according to my parents will, but it is because I am refusing in principle. It is a long story, and I do not know if you would be interested in knowing it; however, to cut it short, my uncle had been killed by someone in the family of that girl. Now, the two families are coming to terms and are about to enter a settlement. And one part of the settlement is that someone from our family marries a girl (a punitive measure) for the family. The girl is 12 year old. How can I say yes? This is one problem I am having. There are others but I do not want to cudgel your head with my problems. I just want to let you know to excuse me for these days and not to feel that I am intentionally ignoring you. I hope that you understand.