Dear tinkerbell10, thank you for your answer. I do not want to let down wife & kids because I am a responsible guy...I know that financially it will be something big...On the other hand, I can't imagine not to go with my chinese girlfriend...she said that maybe we should stay bestfriends because she does not want to hurt my family...My feeling now is that I want more than just bestfriend with her and I dont want to see the dream fades away...This is very tough times for me...

It is true I need luck and courage to face the situation...