Bint Maldeni, yes that is the way it works,,, everything you want goes thru the courts.. I was the same in and out of the office for hours trying to sort the issues.. thank God I had a very understanding boss.. cause basically if I went to court and my ex did not appear than the whole case was postponed. One day he decided yes he wants the kids, next week it was he decided he did not want to grant me divorce - each time it was something else...All I can say is I may not have got anything from the courts financially but I have my kids and that was the most important thing...