i really like the maths one and the "oh my god Sam died"

I shall tell you two. Well this one i was told when i was 14 yrs..what is the difference between a woman and a bicyle.

Woman: You climb on it first then you push
Bicycle: You push it first then climb on it.

3 men apperaed in front of St Peter.

St P: How many times did u commit adultery?
1st man: one time
St P: Ok. Run around this large field of thorns one time and then ennter paradise

ST P to 2nd man. Same question
2nd man: 2 times was the answer
St P; run around 2 times then enter paradise.

St P: where this the 3rd man? cant see him.

1st man yelled. I saw him running around the fields many times why you were talking to me.