i do understand completly what you are seeing
coz i have been through this and trust me its all in how we choose to live our lives and at the end we all have to answer the One Almighty Allaha....
and no other thought scares me other than how will i face Allaha and give him the answers for my deeds,
but i try to live my life the way he has asked us too
and that gives me a little peace and I thank him every second of my life for forgiving me and taking care of me.

Life is a mystery..... you never know whats next.....