Hi there lovinni,

All I can say is to move on with your life.  There are lots of wonderful people out there who will accept and understand you, just the way you are.  You are not alone for all of us at one point in our lives experienced pain, suffering, rejection, judgment, and betrayals.  This is just the cycle of life, and out from our painful experiences we become mature, wiser, and strong.  I wish you all the best.