1. malky
A seriously bad thing to happen to you. If you get 'malkied' then you will have been thumped raucously about the body in a fashion not dissimilar to that of a poor unfortunate referee who has bad mouthed the captain of a particularly large rugby squad.

"Ah geid him the malky an he stood there flat out on the grun."

HEE !

Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth