Popped into the pub on the way back for a "quick drink".
Had a really good run of songs on the juke box, someone was playing all of our favourites, as we where, so we stayed for "another couple" of drinks.
One of our friends came in who we hadn't see for a while with her new boyfriend, so we bought them a drink and got in a round.
We decided to stay and watch the band with them but had to take the shopping home.
We got home and I had to run straight to the loo, as you do.
My Mrs let the dogs in and my dog came charging up the stairs to greet me as she always does.
I knew the dog was going to jump on me, so as I was weeing I tried to protect my privates.
Dog jumped on me, I fell forward [still protecting my privates] and crashed my head into the blinds and through the window smashing it with my head.
The first thing I saw was the next door neighbour looking at me in amazement and then pointing and laughing at me.
My head was through the blinds and the now broken window.
Mrs ran up to pull me back through and amazingly, apart from a tiny cut on my ear, I was unscathed.
She washed my hair over the bath to get any glass out and I was fine.
I then had to get up a ladder and nail a piece of wood over the broken window.
Then we went back to the pub, as you do.
When in the gents I felt a sharp sting on my left buttock and panicked thinking it was a piece of glass.
So I pulled my trousers and underpants down, turned my bare bum at our friends new boyfriend [that I had just met] and asked him "if he could see anything", but neglected to tell him what I was no about.
He screamed like a girl and ran out of the toilets shouting "oh my God it is all hairy".
Leaving me bent over with my bare a*se out with a load of blokes looking at me astounded as I checked for a non-existent cut.
I walked out with my dignity in tatters to explain to our friends boyfriend, but as I reached him I fell over a step onto my back, with a full pint in my hand, without spilling a drop.
Had no car so we walked to the supermarket.
Popped into the pub on the way back for a "quick drink".
Had a really good run of songs on the juke box, someone was playing all of our favourites, as we where, so we stayed for "another couple" of drinks.
One of our friends came in who we hadn't see for a while with her new boyfriend, so we bought them a drink and got in a round.
We decided to stay and watch the band with them but had to take the shopping home.
We got home and I had to run straight to the loo, as you do.
My Mrs let the dogs in and my dog came charging up the stairs to greet me as she always does.
I knew the dog was going to jump on me, so as I was weeing I tried to protect my privates.
Dog jumped on me, I fell forward [still protecting my privates] and crashed my head into the blinds and through the window smashing it with my head.
The first thing I saw was the next door neighbour looking at me in amazement and then pointing and laughing at me.
My head was through the blinds and the now broken window.
Mrs ran up to pull me back through and amazingly, apart from a tiny cut on my ear, I was unscathed.
She washed my hair over the bath to get any glass out and I was fine.
I then had to get up a ladder and nail a piece of wood over the broken window.
Then we went back to the pub, as you do.
When in the gents I felt a sharp sting on my left buttock and panicked thinking it was a piece of glass.
So I pulled my trousers and underpants down, turned my bare bum at our friends new boyfriend [that I had just met] and asked him "if he could see anything", but neglected to tell him what I was no about.
He screamed like a girl and ran out of the toilets shouting "oh my God it is all hairy".
Leaving me bent over with my bare a*se out with a load of blokes looking at me astounded as I checked for a non-existent cut.
I walked out with my dignity in tatters to explain to our friends boyfriend, but as I reached him I fell over a step onto my back, with a full pint in my hand, without spilling a drop.
The band were quite good though.
Call me Maninibat!