Dumb Human Behavior to Avoid

DUMB ON THE JOB

Presenting … The Great Narcissus!
Joanna Kirchmeier arrived at her London home only to find her husband, Helmut, in front of a mirror “just staring at himself, his pupils tiny.” Helmut, a newly trained hypnotist, had accidentally hypnotized himself while rehearsing a new act and had been standing like that for five hours.
Source: London Telegraph

No Shirt/No Hands/No Service
A Florida bank refused to let a man born without arms cash his wife’s check, even though he provided two forms of identification. The reason given: He couldn’t provide a thumbprint.
Source: (Cleveland) Plain Dealer

The Hottest Show on Cable
Zurich firefighters were called to the home of an elderly woman who reported that her television set was on fire. When they arrived, they found her TV tuned to a live feed of a fireplace. “The fire was extinguished with the press of a button,” said a police spokesperson. Source: Associated Press

Scalpel … Forceps … Pink Slip …
When a Madison, Wisconsin, hospital decided to lay off 90 employees, executives there wanted to get it over with quickly. But the timing for one nurse wasn’t ideal. She was dismissed during surgery.
Source: allheadlinenews.com

DUMB LAWSUITS

And Here’s the Kicker
On her way home from having dinner and drinks, Melanie Shaker of Chicago got angry with her husband and tried to kick him. Instead, she crashed through the window of a beauty salon, suffering several deep cuts. So naturally she sued the salon. Part of her argument: The store’s plate glass window, which fronts a sidewalk “frequently traveled by intoxicated pedestrians,” should have been stronger.
Source: wbbm780.com (Chicago)

And to Prove the Point
An Australian man was ordered to pony up $500 in court costs after he lost his lawsuit against his ex-wife. He’d taken her to court hoping the judge would order her to remove this bumper sticker from her car: “Men are idiots. I divorced the king!”
Source: news.com.au

Numbers Gamed
A Fort Lee, New Jersey, woman is suing WABC-TV in New York for broadcasting the wrong winning lottery numbers. Rakel Daniele experienced the thrill of victory when the station called out her numbers, only to feel the agony of defeat days later when she learned the TV station was mistaken. Broadcasting the wrong numbers, she claimed in her suit, went “beyond all possible bounds of decency” and was “utterly intolerable in a civilized community.”
Source: northjersey.com

Victory Is Not in the Bag
After arresting Craig Clark Show on charges of drunken driving, Idaho state troopers opened a medicine bag he had with him. Show considered suing the state police and county sheriff’s office, claiming that a medicine woman had blessed the bag, and by opening it, cops destroyed its mystical powers—but in the end, he thought better of it.
Source: Bonner County (Idaho) Daily Bee

Hold the Cactus!
A Miami diner ordered the grilled artichoke special from the restaurant’s menu and ended up in the hospital with stomach pains. He’s now suing the restaurant, Houston’s, for not warning him that he shouldn’t eat the artichoke’s tough, pointy leaves.
Source: foodanddrinkdigital.com