Make you wife happy.
In the world, one single rule applies to the men:
Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
- You make the bed (+1)
- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
- In the rain hand in hand (+80)
- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
- Named Tina (-4)
- Tina is a dancer (-1000)
HER BIRTHDAY
- You take her out to dinner (0)
- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
- You take her to a movie (+2)
- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE> points no matter what]
- You hesitate in responding (-10)
- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
COMMUNICATION
- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned ____expression (0)
- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
- You listen for more than 30 minutes without lookin at the TV (+500)
Any smart woman would point out potential hot looking women for her hubby to perve at and note what he agrees with and disagrees with (note: this can only be done by a woman who is sure of herself and not threatened by others!)
smile lots laugh more
HUSBAND SUPERMARKET.
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where
a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit
the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six fl oors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you
may choose any man from a particular floor , or you may choose to go up a
floor,but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fif th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4, 363,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
negative points and still counting........
:(
1).While go walking along with her if you see ladies (-1)
2).speak about her beauty(-10)
3).If she sneeze immediately call doctors(+1)
4).You apply medicine to her and making body for massage in good sense.(+200)
5).When she sick if you go office come very late(-300)
6).When she doing shopping give credit card and wait (+1000)
7).If you want to buy any thing before she buy ( -10).
8).Wait until she finish her buy and carry all load by yourself and she made a cat walk praising her about her wonderful purchase (+ 12)
9).Go home after purchase,take restaurent as she likes (+5)
10).In restaurent order as she likes ( for you too),with a big smile and eat( +10)
sssssssssh too many available continue in another ---it is a lengthy ---- man.
( Anticipating Miss X comment)
Umbilical chord the step 5 of the calculation doesn't seem right. The rest is OK.
men and women need each other despite the differences between them.
and the relationship was summed as me being the mouse and the wife being the cat.....(+1000)
point of: in public scratching your armpit and smell your hand after
pusang iring ^__^
accoding to me your topic was very nice
accoding to me your topic was very nice
lol how many - points for scratching a$$.
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye tho khana free.
And never forget about the toilet seat!
:D
Life's a bitch and then you DIE! ;)
I refuse to read a book with such a title, as it deeply offends me since I am as equally adept at reading maps!
See, us females don't want to tell you what we mean and feel, because in those cases we believe it is normal, human decency to already act that way. We do not want to tell you to make the bed, and we do not want to tell you that we don't like it when you don't make the bed. Pick your clothes off the floor, stop scratching your arses and adjusting your balls, and MAKE THE DAMN BED ON YOUR OWN.
:P
MissX,
I have explained the 30 second rule before.
Whatever you want you, as a female, have 30 seconds to get your message across, after that WE ARE SIMPLY NOT LISTENING ANYMORE. Little design flaw called attention span.
Equally, if females just say what they mean and feel and not leave it for the male to guess. Our lives would be soooooooooooooooooooo much easier.
I am sure you have read about the differences in the male and female brain. Herein lies the key to understanding. Which I, I must admit, also ignore and use as an excuse when needed :-P Knowledge = POWERRRR
Allan & Babrbara Pease have a nice book on this called "why men can't listen and woman can't read maps" (or so). Very easy read. (am sure you have done already)
On behalf of manhood,
Thank you for taking this advice into consideration.
:-P
Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and you're back to ZERO
Life's a bitch and then you DIE! ;)
Actually, the first part is actually somewhat true.
"Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects."
It's the examples and respective points that are a little off though. The problem is that women expect more from men, then the men realise. Therefore the men want points for doing something they believe was special, which in the womans eyes, was something that was expected. For example, the making of the bed. A man thinks that by making the bed, that he is doing the woman a favour. But the woman see's it as a responsibility that should be equally shared, since you both use the bed. Thus the man expects + points when he does this "favour", and then feels like he is taken for granted when this huge "favour" of his is not recognised.
Moral:
No matter what you do, you will do it wrong either way.
YOUR PERFORMANCE
- You collapse after just a few pumps (-100)
- You vomit out too early before the food is servve (-200)
- You exercise push-up on and on like a horse (+1000)
- You request for a cold icecream in middle of the night (+600)
We had a good laugh at this =)
------------------------------------------
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.