Another canuck giggle.....
Hopefully Siddh isn't dulled by this one. AHHH but who cares, his/her opinion is his/her opinion.....Siddh if you don't get this one I'll try and explain it to you one day EH! enjoy everyone else. I will keep them coming.
Ask a stupid question......get a stupid answer, my type of humour!!!!
I have a Labrador Retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (Duh!)
On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably
shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he staggered to the door laughing.
Yes folks, I'm keeping these clean, not to sure what I can post and not post....EH!
Two sailors had been stranded on a small life boat, floating for two weeks on an open ocean when they happened upon a genie bottle.
One of the guys reaches over the side of the boat and grabs the genie bottle and brings it aboard. With curious eyes, they looked at each other and the first guy says to the other “Give it a rub and see what happens.”
The guy rubs the genie bottle and “POOF” out pops a genie. The genie says “I’m not a rich genie but I can grant you guys one wish, what would you like.”
After a moment of silence, one of the guys boisterously says “I want you to turn this ocean of salt water into beer.” “POOF”, the ocean is now beer and the genie disappears into thin air.
The second guy jumps up, punches his partner in the face and screams “What the hell did you do that for, now we have to piss in the boat.”
good one!! :)