MEN ARE BRAVE - ENJOY

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I'd like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Johnson Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!"

As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
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TAKING THE LAST EXAM
Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now."

He picked up his pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."
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EMBARASSING PROBLEM

An old lady came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I Fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odour. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office: "Doctor,I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."
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LIGHTNING JUST STRUCK

As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. I'm going to start a whole new regimen. He began attending aerobics classes. He started working out with weights. He changed his diet. And he got an expensive hair transplant. In six months, he was a different man. Again, he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted.

There he was, all dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had. He stood poised to ring the woman's doorbell, when a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet. As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, "Why, God, why now? After all I've been through, how could you do this to me?"

From up above, there came a voice, "Sorry. I didn't not recoginize you."
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Quality Engineer...
A Quality Engineer married an average girl…

After 2 years of tough life with her, finally QA Engineer got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that

"YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS".

The smart father-in-law replies,

"WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"

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The priest

Enjoy and comment....

A priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he had spent years teaching the natives when he realized that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he took the chief for a walk in the forest. He pointed to a tree and said to the chief, 'This is a tree.'The chief looked at the tree and grunted, 'Tree.'

The Priest was pleased with the response.They walked a little further and he pointed to a rock and said, 'This is a rock.'Hearing this, the chief looked and grunted, 'Rock.'

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he heard a rustling in the bushes.
As they peeked over the top, he saw a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The Priest was really flustered and quickly responded,'Man riding a bike.'The chief looked at the couple briefly,pulled out his blowgun and killed
them!

The Priest went ballistic and yelled at the chief that he had spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how
could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, 'My bike.'

ENJOY YOUR DAY and remember to keep off the roads when riding somebody else's bicycle.
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