The Onion and Christmas Tree

Colt45
By Colt45

The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, when you see them, they will make you cry." :-(

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many types of "willies" are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his “willie” is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties & forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree??"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only." :-)

By owen• 2 Oct 2007 13:13
owen

ksa..i prefer to bring 'em down owen style..:P

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By ksarat16• 2 Oct 2007 13:12
ksarat16

Welcome Owen...doors are open...so that u dont bring them down...

Wooohooo cat fight...i m ready to witness...

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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "

By owen• 2 Oct 2007 13:10
owen

ok, *wiping tears now off my cheeks*...

ksa, you will get that cat fight...will try to pass by your place tonight..:/

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By hjsarwar• 2 Oct 2007 13:02
hjsarwar

hey just chill......i m just joking........there is nothing to be insulted in the joke or even in my point....chill

By ksarat16• 2 Oct 2007 13:02
ksarat16

That was a tough one for Owen to take...can i see some cat fight...

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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "

By starseed• 2 Oct 2007 13:01
starseed

he's actually complimenting you... saying u r young - how could u know these things? :)

By owen• 2 Oct 2007 13:00
owen

i dont know hjsarwar, somehow i feel insulted...but wish to be wrong bout you..

peace!

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By hjsarwar• 2 Oct 2007 12:59
hjsarwar

i cant explain my point .....there are somethings which are implied to be understood

By owen• 2 Oct 2007 12:57
owen

hjsarwar, and your point is?

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By coolquietman• 2 Oct 2007 12:55
coolquietman

owen

i posted a game just for you .check my yesterdays post timepass...women only

do it right - the first time!

By hjsarwar• 2 Oct 2007 12:53
hjsarwar

a knowledge is required to get fun out of Colt's joke

By owen• 2 Oct 2007 12:50
owen

colt..couldnt help smiling here..:D

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By hjsarwar• 2 Oct 2007 12:49
hjsarwar

oooooo she spoiled my mercedese

By hjsarwar• 2 Oct 2007 12:47
hjsarwar

extraordinary joke.........well done now a days women are quite familiar with the stages of trees

By starseed• 2 Oct 2007 12:45
Rating: 3/5
starseed

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," he said,"how much will you charge me?"

The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?"

"No", replied the wife. "I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the 'dumb blonde' joke emails we've been receiving." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Mercedes”

By starseed• 2 Oct 2007 12:44
starseed

she has a come-back every time! :)

By Colt45• 2 Oct 2007 12:13
Rating: 4/5
Colt45

Let me check that and get back to you.

By ksarat16• 2 Oct 2007 12:10
Rating: 4/5
ksarat16

Good one bro...cheers...

Hey dude...any update on the thing i had asked u bout...

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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "

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