Honesty vs. Lying
Honesty is always the best policy. No! Lying is a natural and necessary part of good relationships. The oath, "the whole truth, nothing but the truth" are impossible to abide by. In today's world we consider those who are too honest to be blunt. No one wants to hear that they look heavy or less attractive in those ugly fuchsia yoga pants, or that the snow globe they just received is pointless and that they will never use it. Lying just helps avoid unnecessary conflict, and in a way protects our invasion of privacy. It may sound crazy, but whether we like it or not, relationships are held together, not only by telling the truth, but telling an occasional white lie.
Lying is used and needed in many different situations. One of these ways is in relationships. This lying is very difficult, because it involves telling a loved one, or spouse something that he or she does not want to hear. And it is studied that always telling the truth leads to more bad than good. So with this lying is used in order to make others in the relationship feel better about themselves. Women these days are very self conscious, and don't want to hear the truth that they aren't as attractive as they used to be. When we say things like this, the relationship most likely won't last that long.
If, for some reason, we must tell the truth, even if we risk the hurtful feelings of others, than we should do it the right way. This includes choosing the right place and time. If it is going to be hurtful then it should be done in a private place and at a time that they are able to get support from others. And if the truth is needed to be said, say the whole truth. Be descriptive. Also when telling the ugly truth, we have to expect the worst, but hope for the best. At the risk of the loved one thinking that it is a lie, try not to fight back or defend yourself. Instead of doing this, try and listen to their reactions and feelings. In worst case scenarios, such as cheating in a relationship, the truth must be told, because sooner or later the lies build up and the truth will come out.
Even though in certain small situations lying is needed we need to make sure that we don't become a continuous liar. A few lies here and there are okay, but they do build up. Keep it to only when necessary in the relationship in order to avoid conflicts.
OMG how did I miss this topic. Yep I believe if a lie is required to defuse tension between two people then its fine, if it does not casue any harm to any one then whats the problem.
So honesty is the best policy and lying can be the second best in certain circumstances..:)
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Can We Fix It?
Yes We Can!
Honesty,even if it hurts
Honesty,even if it hurts
Honesty,even if it hurts
Honesty,even if it hurts
Honesty,even if it hurts
lying and cheating will hurt more and the wound will leave a mark.
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MU2M :(
I like French cofee,but it is simply Turkish with milk
Generally, I am very blunt and straight forward...
Lie sometimes just to avoid a BIG fight or controversy and confess many times.
Keep silent rather lying and believe me Honesty is still a BEST policy (Theoritically for some) :)
Victory...thats all harmless lies:)
Certain facts/truth cannot be disclosed on the face to everyone :)
I personally believe that honesty is still a best policy and one should not lie in any circumstances. It is difficult but possible even in today's world.
Exactly EM....a very famous quote.....
A Liar should have GOOD memory (obviously to protect future conflicts!
I'm so old and forgetful, prefer not to lie so don't need to remember what I said before.
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Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.
and let both live happily in their own illusionery worlds!
The demand of DLaw and MLaw cannot be attended at the same time. When in such situation (under JFS), seek help from FLaw or a close relative for alternative suggestions / methods to keep both end meet.
right now, thats what they're doing. not seeing each other. but cant help it when my bro goes in our house for a visit... some things come up and questions asked... :)
..ReaLitY haS a WaY oF snEaKinG uP aNd biTinG us iN tHe aSS..
leelah..i get your point but practically in a JFS in the indian society there are a lot of compulsions for a man not to leave the JFS and stay separately..
under such circumstances, if a man is witness to the usual back-bitings going on between the DIL and MIL, he cannot speak the truth when confronted later..
If they both hate each other why any of them will care if she loves her or not?
Women are blessed with that sixth sense , which she can feel that in a very lil time how the other woman is feeling about her.
Plushed I'm married for 25 yrs have been in these situations a few times.
Sometimes it needs one person to make the first move and give a little. Otherwise Perhaps it's better that your brother's wife doesnt step in the house if she can't face the truth. Your mum and her seeing each other but feeling bitter inside
lol. leelah - seems to me you havent been in that situation before, no?
my bro's wife and my mom was having some problems. and if my bro tells my mom the truth everytime she asks, i dont think i will see my bro's wife stepping inside our house. (they have their own house)
..ReaLitY haS a WaY oF snEaKinG uP aNd biTinG us iN tHe aSS..
leelah...lol, thats good tact..
but what if she wants a straight answer in a 'yes' or 'no'??
a wish!
I wish men would never lie about love :(
...listen to the sound of silence....
tell her she loves you as much as you love her.
leelah..question for you..
if the DIL asks her husband if her MIL loves her...what do you think the man should say, even if he knows that they hate each other..
So finally Truth Prevails and Virtue is Triumphant ...
You are right.It is very difficult but not impossible.
it's always give and take in JFS but I'll still say lying is not the solution.
Have a nice week end.
I personally feels this is the most difficult situation in Men's Life to balance and show his maturity levels in managing domestic affairs skillfully.......
Here most of the men failed in making TWO generations meet and flows on either side.....and opt for peace by Divide and Rule.
are part of the family and family always gets stronger and long lasting on the base of confidence,truth and trust.when the whole structure is standing on the base of lies then it will crumble down one day.
second what about the kids what they going to learn?like father like son and this will go on.
Rather then lying, man should be strong enouhg to handle both sides and keep the balance.Yeh I got to agree should be tactful that doesn't mean lie,tactful mean saying right thing at the right time.
.....
true.. the truth always comes out sooner or later....but does it help bringing out the truth??
if JFS is inevitable in a family...its better to push the dirt under the carpet and hope some day good sense will prevail..!!
on the other hand, if nuclear family is an option...just go for it and in that case, such diplomacy is not required..
Tact & diplomacy is totally different to outright lying though. I agree you should do your best to keep the peace, but you don't have to lie to keep the peace. It's all about how you word it :-)
*****If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all*****
tact and diplomacy works under domestic peace management sometimes. Some calculated risk to be borne.
But in certain cases, the above solution won't work....
Pre-empt judgments and presumptions about Mil or Dil against each other, would find difficult to live together for long time.
I am not against JFS but to avoid future blasts/ continuous frictions, I personally prefer nuclear family system to live in harmony and peace.
I disagree, you can't keep brushing it under the carpet, the truth always comes out eventually.
*****If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all*****
leelah..
it is the man who almost always has to play a 'reconciler' when it comes to domestic quarrels between the MIL and her DIL..
in such cases, lying is a better option..than speaking the truth..cos the truth will always stoke the fire and create further problems..
this tactic will last as long as the joint family will exist...later its not required at all.
how long do you think this will last?what one day man is not there and????????????
Truth goes long way wheres lie cant even walk.
there are many gray areas at times where its difficult to decide whether to lie or to be truthful..
sometimes, lying can emilioraate the situation and wont cause any damage or ill feeling amongst friends or loved ones.....calculated lying is good in such cases..
for example, if in a joint family, the daughter in law is always having some friction with her mother in law, its always better for the man to lie to both and always maintain that both love each other even if its not true..
thats what is called being tactful or diplomatic..
Agree with Victory, its better not to tell anything than lying
sorry to differ here you said, "a little white lie is ok".No don't think so,those who think it is ok to tell white lie soon grow in to color blind and they don't even realize that.
and confession.
I am very blunt and straight forward!
Lie sometimes just to avoid a BIG fight or controversy and confess many times.
Keep silent rather lying and believe me honesty is still a BEST policy (Theoritically for some) :)
how are you doing?it was nice meeting you.
Very good post keep it up.see you soon.
You say one lie, then you are forced to say another lie to cover up the first and so on. And in the end you end up losing yourself. Not worth it.
A little white lie is OK. "Ooh darling, you look so sexy in that dress. (Meaning Gosh, you look fat in it).
But on serious issues, its better to tell the truth and get it over with. Much easier than lying & living with the constant fear of being found out.
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"We live life forward, but understand it backward"
Itz me from MMM lunch gathering ;)
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
is a bad habit and most of the ppl lies for showoff or ppl who are insecure.I don't believe on white lies either ,lie is at the end of the day is a lie.some time ppl say we lie to save some one' loads of b........t.
I believe;
Who lies for you will lie agaisnt you.
I know FS.. Even when they know that we know they are lying.. lol
**** Aal Izz Well****
WK...some people lie for no reason, dont understand what their intention behind that is?? :( Even After confronting they tell the same lies:(
I beleieve if one tiny truth will take away others smile then its better to speak white lie..
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
nicely described ...at times its so tough to choose one Truth or Lies..but sum ppl dont realise what thy saying lies or truth with any motive they just keep on lieing even for stupid things thats causes big trouble specialy for others to trust them, white lies are always most escapeable.
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
I am an honest liar...
**** Aal Izz Well****
lol FU you are so fast to catch Ctrl + C & Ctrl + V ;)
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सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु
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Lying is not the answer,Phrasing correctly is the only way and if someone takes offence then it is because they dont want to hear the truth.
Source:
- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)
"Resident Attention Seeker"
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
Source:
- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)
"Resident Attention Seeker"
"And it is studied that always telling the truth leads to more bad than good."
- so true! i have a big problem about telling lies.. and in turn, gets into more trouble than i initially wouldnt have.
besides, as Aldous Huxley says..
"When truth is nothing but the truth, it's unnatural, it's an abstraction that resembles nothing in the real world. In nature there are always so many other irrelevant things mixed up with the essential truth."
..ReaLitY haS a WaY oF snEaKinG uP aNd biTinG us iN tHe aSS..
Yoga pants?..whats that? Lungi?...lol
I wud tell you... no, that thing looks small on your bum ;-)
yea FriedUnion.. i was reading that form thought of sharing it here..
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
Tell me about it..how can a extremely honest person survive? if none of the family memmbers, collegues,friends like his honesty ?
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
I like people to tell me the truth, unless I ask "does my bum look big in this?", then I expect them to lie ;-)
*****If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all*****
Here is the source:
http://www.essayforum.com/essay-writing-feedback-3/honesty-vs-lying-persuasion-essay-edit-help-11644/
In line with the community guidelines;you must always mention the source.
Source:
- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)
"Resident Attention Seeker"
100% Agreed...being honest in today's world is like making it a HELL for yourself :(
----------------------------------------------------------------Give me some SunShine......Give me some Rain
Give me another Chance...I wanna grow up once Again
You're awesome... ;-) !!!!
we some times tell lies for other peoples happiness too
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
I dont tell lies, so am disliked by many. But I dont care if people like me or not! I only tell the truth.
I think thats a good article :d ....lying
yeah rev that's better :P
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'' Live for Nothing or Die for Something ''
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gosh main read kardoon saab ke lia ?
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
Rev ...its too long
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'' Live for Nothing or Die for Something ''
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agreeing with Rizks comment LOL....
lol Rizks next time will make it shorter
-: Kindness is a Language the deaf can hear and the blind can see :-
Rev.S i have read ur post completely from first word till last........ lying*
How am i suppose to read so long post ? :(......Honesty*