Why We Should Not Compare..?
In our culture a lot of times people advise us to compare ourselves with others. "You should be like your father," "You can win; the others aren’t as good as you," "You must be the best of your class," etc., and this is not always the best way of thinking. There are many reasons to change this way of thinking and begin to compare ourselves only with ourselves. This is the way it should be, and in this paper I will discuss some of the most important reasons for this.
The first reason to avoid comparing yourself with others is that there will be always someone better than you. It doesn’t mater in which aspect, but it is always true. Therefore, you could feel inferior to others and maybe without a real reason. For example, you can be an incredible architect and the best of your generation, and this can make you feel incredibly good, but if someday someone is better than you are, you could feel sad although you are still the same incredible architect that you were before.
The second reason to elude this kind of comparison is that you will always find someone worse than you, but as opposed to the first reason, this can make you feel better than the others, and this feeling can turn into a horrible pride. For example, if you are the second best student of your class, and one day the very best student leaves the school, you will then be the best one although you are still only as good as you were before.
These two first reasons leads us to a third one: If you want to be better than the others, you don’t need to improve yourself; you only have to make the others look bad. If I want to be the leader of the group, but you are the leader now, what I need to do is to make you look like a traitor or stupid and then I can take your place. Then I will be better than you.
A fourth reason to stop comparing ourselves is that the one who compares him/herself with others is judging, and this doesn’t help us develop as human beings. Nobody knows the internal reality of the other; nobody knows his/her story and his/her most deep intentions, and when we judge it’s harder to accept the others.
The last but most important reason to avoid comparing ourselves with others is that when we do, we can be tempted to copy them, to do the same things, and to act and think like them. The problem with this is that if we copy someone, we will never know who we really are and what we really want, and then we will never grow spiritually.
For all these reasons and because we are unique, we should not compare ourselves with others, only with ourselves. The only comparison pattern that we really have is our consciousness. So, if we use this pattern we will not feel less or more than others; we will not try to make others look bad; we will not judge so much; and we will accept ourselves as we really are. In other words, we will live happier.
I compare my self to others to improve my self & if there's somebody better then may be I still need a lot of work. Getting discourage by somebody better is just an excuse not to push one's self to the limits. Friendly competition is a good thing, its a win win for all.
As i was waiting for your comment and no doubt your explanation is so worthy i only can add in it that some time it becomes odd or difficult to understand that we need to consider someone more than us and its irritating to that person that every body pointing him to become like others and infact it becomes a hate rather than to accept him as a role model bcz its a human nature
I believe there is a thing as a positive comparison. Whereupon you compare yourself to another in order to better yourself and not to demean, degrade, or render yourself insecure.We can compare ourselves to people who have accomplished more in a manner that will inspire us to do well. For example as Muslims we often compare ourselves to the Prophet, His companions and the pious predecessors. We wonder how we can achieve even a part of what they have achieved. And when faced with a trial we ponder over how they would have handled such a situation. By doing so we better ourselves as Muslims and even as human beings because they were exemplary people and by comparing ourselves to them and copying their ways we are not going to lose out,Insha Allah.
Then there is negative comparison. Where you compare yourself, or another, unfavorably with someone else, in a way that will only lead to jealousy,stepping on another's ego,insecurity, ill feelings, and hatred. Like a husband disparagingly comparing his wife to his mother, ex girlfriend, friends's wife etc. Or a parent constantly telling a child "why can't you be like so and so's kid..see how well they are faring in exams" etc. This is never a good thing and can never bring about any betterment hence should be avoided.
And finally, when it comes to comparing a good piece of advice from our Prophet: "When you see a person who has been given more than you in money and beauty, look to those, who have been given less." This is in order to be content and avoid envy and covetousness.
A man should treat his own personality which should be admired by others.
"The first reason to avoid comparing yourself with others is that there will be always someone better than you."
There is always one person for whom this does not apply :)
thanks man
well I went back to homeland that's why i was away from QL
let's continue
thanks man
well I went back to homeland that's why i was away from QL
let's continue
Father : Son, when I was at your age, Im already the Executive Manager of our company
Son : Father, when Reagan was at your age, he was already the President of the United States
Welcome back Lawa.. Long time no see and no post.
We should compare ourselves in terms of Goodness..:)
is all that matters..
let's talk about it on Ql so we can get more opinions from our Ql friends...........:)
if u send me ur email i will send u a presentation on the subject...... however its a part of personality development & we should be selective
Should we Compare Ourselves With Others............?