Western Men and Asian Women Revisited
I have been a long time reader of QatarLiving forums, but have only recently becom a member. I recall a while back someone opening the topic on why they are seeing so many Wstern men with Asian women. The topic opened up a variety of replies that ranged from social class and financial grubbing (on the Asian female's side) to cultural characteristics that possible make Asian women more preferable to their Western counterparts. None of the responses really fit the bill (at least for me), although there may have been some truth in the majority of them. I am re-visiting this topic, because recently it has really hit home for me.
I have been dating a Thai girl for the past five months. She is one of the few non-Western women, of which all have been Asian, I have ever dated and she is a pretty great catch. I can honestly tell you that I believe she is not after my money or the possible new class status that being with me may give her (I really do not fully comprehend contemporary class identities and heavily resent them). If she is after those things, she is being very patient. However, I have dated Western women who have been greedy and mean-spirited too. I chalk it up to payback for the times I have been a complete jerk (call it karma). The point I am trying to make is that all races of people are capable of having the same general character flaws (i.e. greedy, contentious, arrogant, etc.), but back to the original purpose of this post.
Why are so many Western men in Qatar with Asian women? First, I would have to say it is a matter of numbers. I am not sure what the statistics actually are, but from my personal observation after living here for 19 months is that for every one Western woman in Doha there are 30 to 40 Asian women. Even going to some of the more Western preferred clubs like the one in Rydges, Asian women dominate the scene. Next and I think this may upset someone for sure, but since Western women are a rarity in Doha there seems to be an air of unapproachability about them. Maybe this barrier is needed to ward off the infinite approaches from men (which I would have to say works against me), I don't know. What I do know is that if I look at a woman and she snubs her nose at me in apparent arrogance, then I am moving on. Western women in Doha are also frequently hard to approach due to the constant orbitting of numerous, what I like to call, satellites. That is desperate dudes that, apparently with no self respect, hover around a single female in the hope she throws them a scrap. I am not going to approach a woman when she is already covered by a pack of lap dogs (I know that is a slight exaggeration).
So my botton line is I find most Asian women to be more approachable. Please excuse this next generalisation, but even the most beautiful Asian women can be approached without a haughty and pretentious lashback (in my experience). My unsolicited advice to Western women living in Doha is if you can't beat them, join them. If you like a man, get rid of the lapdogs; smile and share a friendly glance with him, and be nice. Hopefully he will do the same for you!
I think most people are shocked at the unions of Western men and Asian women as the girls are young enough to be their grandchildren, it makes the man look like a pervert! Plus I am told many of the men leave these women as some are already married at home. I knew one English man and he married a Chinese prostitute, he bought her a home in China and when he became ill she came to see what she could take from him. Maybe the men deserve these women!
neelu...
education, class, refinement, are not your kind of thing. If you had.. you'd be quiet. I think u need to get out of the internet and isolate yourself. and please... stop making these threads miserable.
take care...cheers
I guess its just a matter of wanting what your not supposed to have.
I love a good competition and intrigue
And perhaps because asian girls and muslims too ;) grow up knowing they shouldn't or its less allowed makes some men much more attractive!
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
I don’t bring racial references to any discussions. I only try to stop people like you from looking everything from racial, narrow minded perspective. But I almost gave up, since you lack the education or the willingness to adopt a progressive and modern out look on anything. By the way this discussion was on asian women and not about bored housewife.why do u sound so offensive.
I have decided to be gentle with you and try not to get provoked by your abuses.i know this has to do with your lack of refinement and class. But try to improve urselv.
I seriously think that you should spend less time on Internet and spend more time to get some decent education. They have recently upgraded Qatar central library, there are many books you could read, Qatar university also has a programe for adult education .i think one should never give up trying to improve ones life, have a good day
I have no personal opinion against or in favor Asians or western women. or for that matter about anyone going out with anybody ,as that is a matter of personal choice. All I did was to summaries the opinion I have had from different people who happened to be mixed couple. The opinions are not mine, and it has to be generalization since I am no expert on Asian women or western men.
This is so typical. I am Asian, a Filipina at that *snap snap*. I have a lot of friends and everytime I'm out with them, random people would stare at me as if I'm just off with this guy because he's western.. which I believe is really hilarious. I reckon they stare at me because I'm pretty. Nyeee. Kidding!
Firstly, I went to school abroad which brings forth the fact that I have a lot of friends from different countries. It's such a shame that just because they think I am Asian I'm up for it for the upgrade in status. Haha. I don't think so hey.
Also, I find it funny that most guys here in Doha well, they tend to be extra flashy and the nerve of them to think that we'd be interested just because of what they have or where they come from. And also the reaction when we keep dissing them! Oh boo-hoo!
Anyways, I'm not in rage or anything nor am I bitter. Just thought I'd share my sentiments on the topic. I didn't fall inlove with a western man at all, I fell inlove with a South African.. hmm, should he be referred to as western? Haha. Well, all is good when you're inlove. ♥
If you're good to your mate, they'll be good to you....unless they're a twat and not worth your time
If you do look at most West/East matches it tends to be an older Western man (40 +) and a young Eastern woman (25 to 30), I think this is just because this is the age that both sets are ready to settle down. It's no secret to Western women that Western men don't want to settle down and get married till they are in their mid 30's or older, and it's not really a secret that most Western women aren't ready to settle down till that age either, which is why, if you look closely, especially in the overseas enviornment we all live in you will see older Western men with young Eastern women (because Eastern women are more keen to settle down at a young age) as well as many older Western women with Asian partners of roughly the same age, or a bit younger.
Visit www.qatarhappening.com
Alexa OFW is Overseas Filipino Workers hope this helps..
lol PH, a thicko....sums them all up really lol
lol supernurse..
Could never allow such behavior from my slave! I believe in yelling and screaming to get my way if all else fails!
I just first give him the benefit of the doubt. If he wasn't such a thicko it might actually work sometimes!
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
otherwise 'be a doormat for your husband and he'll walk all over you'.....no thanks, got my head screwed on better than that. If he doesn't like it he knows where the door is...nuff said
We have an islamic saying
be like a slave for your husband and he will be a slave for you.
What I find in asian women is that they have grasped this concept. And western women resent this and think its manipulative.
Just read a fascinating book by Laura Schlesinger or something called "The caring and feedings of husbands"...
Very very interesting! As it talks about women anticipating their partners needs and stop being so selfish all the time. If he tells you to jump and turn off the lights its not hard to do considering that if you ask him to do the same he will! Or he should
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
Interesting way of seeing things...
However, I don't think there is much about Qatar that compares to the States. I wouldn't apply American stats here.
Did you read what I wrote above?
Oh my Neelu, don't know where to begin....Can't speak for Qatar, but American studies have shown that East Asians-men in particular-are less willing to marry outside their ethnic group than Caucasians. East Asian women are more willing than either black or Latina, while Caucasian men are the least discriminating about marrying outside their own ethnic group. Maybe part of the reason this pairing is so apparent to you is because these are the two groups who are most willing to couple outside of their own ethnicity? Now this study only applied to Americans of East Asian descent, so presumably their cultural perspectives would be different to those born and brought up there.
Where's my cryptic crossword
OFW
I dunno
There are good and bad from all races all aroud the world???
Why don't you people get that??? I been all over the world????
Good and bad is not a race issue...It's jus the way it is...
Don't prejudge anyone...I have worked the jobs...
That I see the OFW work...When I was young...
Little pay and long hours...And ride bicycle to work across town...Yes...
My child hood not much diff from ofw...Seriously...
70s in ohio was not a bed of roses....
Why I connect with OFW...
You can't teach experience...
I thought NEELU is MALE? and a lawyer too?
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent -Eleonor Roosevelt
Great many generalizations specially by Neelu. Two of my American friends are married to thais. They are both previously married. Their reasons for marrying Thais are quite simple. They take good care of them and are no to demanding. perhaps generalizatons again!
exactly Alexa ... i stay away from these type of ppl ... QL have all sorts of nationalities and we all get along
she better not turn up in one of QL gathering ....
some ppl never grow up they r still kids sucking lolipops
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
i just hate those type of ppl Alexa ...
i do beg to disagree with what you said:
-Asian women are desperate and are too willing to go out with the first western mail (you mean, MALE?) they meet.
MY ANSWER: ABSOLUTELY BOLLOCKS...sorry, but it's not true.
-Asian women just need a sugar daddy to care of them.
MY ANSWER: All Filipinas in QATAR holds JOBS...because if they don't WHY THE HELL we would be HERE!!!
-Asian mixed couple are noticeable because they look different. there must be equal number of mixed couple in other races too.
MY ANSWER: ABSOLUTELY BOLLOCKS...sorry, but it's not true.
-.... I only wish they stay together for ever and the affairs are not casual and does not end with an exist (you mean EXIT)from immigration counter at the airport
MY ANSWER: It would happen to a few...but not all.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent -Eleonor Roosevelt
I was afraid this would lead to another racial mudslinging. I am happy with the standard of the discussion here. I have few observations to make. It is not just in Qatar that I have noticed this Asian woman/western man thing. If you ever happened to travel out of manila international airport, this will be the first thing that will strike you, mixed marriage couples waiting to leave to different countries in gulf, UK, Canada etc. It is a nice feeling to see that people of different races can live tighter as families, no matter what some people may think about racial purity. I have discussed this with some mixed marriage couples and draw following observation.
There are too many marriageable Asian girls available,
As a culture, Asians have no problem in marrying outside their clan
Asian women find their men too irresponsible and immature.
Most of these western men are too old and less attractive to find partners in their home country.
Asian women have strong family values that are fast disappearing in western women.
Asian women look clean, fresh and attractive, compared to western ones.
Asian women are desperate and are too willing to go out with the first western mail they meet.
Asian women just need a sugar daddy to care of them.
Asian mixed couple are noticeable because they look different. there must be equal number of mixed couple in other races too.
I do not know what is the real reason, may be a mix of all these. I only wish they stay together for ever and the affairs are not casual and does not end with an exist from immigration counter at the airport
thats a strong comment ichwill! well let me say that these construction workers do not have the luxury to do their hobbies let alone date. their finances hardly support themselves and their families.
so going back to the topic, when i first came to Doha dating to a westerner never crossed my mind. i wanted to be of the same race. due to the fact that i am scared. but you cant just cant stop it, its inevitable! however i do get the "looks" of asian women whenever i have a westener date. probably these women think its just taking advantage. but i can say such relationship works. asian and westener relationship works because they compliment each other in most ways. so if both of you respect each other and of course happy i dont think there is any more issue.
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
Everyone said something sensible.
There is nothing wrong in being with someone of a different ethnic background. In fact, it can be very good and very special.
I am gonna deviate a little bit off the main topic here...
I don't want to add too much about numbers. Yeah, everyone knows there are a lot more single Asian girls in Qatar than Arab or Western girls.
However, there is another problem with Qatar. Does anyone here know the ratio of "single men" vs. "single women" within the expat community in Qatar? Someone did an unofficial statistic in 2003 (which is when I first came here) and found that ratio to be approx 23 to 1. That is EXTREMELY bad.
I believe that things have gotten better since, but they are still out of balance. I think the ratio today would be close to 10 to 1. That is still VERY bad.
In other words, judging by numbers alone, a single woman in Doha can in fact behave like a kid in a candy store (and frankly, many of them do). However, I know many single girls in Doha that complain about not being able to find a suitable partner. Particularly Western girls over 30.
Back to the expat community. In terms of numbers, the majority of the expat community is Asian. I would comfortably say over 60%. Unfortunately, due to pay discrimination between different nationalities, Asians are usually paid significantly less than Westerners, and usually work and live under poorer conditions. Many Asians have to share their actual bedrooms with other people. We're talking about 6-8 people sharing a 2 bedroom apartment for example. Even worse in some cases.
So, you're sharing your bedroom with other people. Therefore bringing someone home is simply not on the menu. The amount of money you earn means that you are constantly alert about how much you're spending and how.
Let me give a specific example. Do you see all those construction workers, that get shuffled in from their labor camps in busses to construction sites in Doha? Well, each one of them earns about 400-600 Riyals a month. They share their sleeping quarters with 100s of people. They never know a moment of privacy except when they are sitting on the toilet seat. And even then under a lot of pressure to get off...
Some of us spend 400 Riyals on a dinner for 2, without even thinking about it.
Asian women do not fare a whole better in terms of income and living/work conditions. The average Asian girl you see working in a shop at a mall or a cafe, earns around 1000-1500 Riyals a month, and shares her bedroom with between 1 to 3 other girls. Qatar Airways staff and cabin crew are a minority here and are not representative of the situation in general.
Now let us see. If I was a construction worker, with no car, no privacy of any sort and no money to spend, how exactly would I date - regardless of whom I am trying to date? Chances are, I am not even allowed to go out of the camp after 8pm.
This, my friends, is a huge part of the reason why you see a lot of Asian women with Western or Arab men.
I hope I did not bore anyone!
THere is something to be said for simple demography too. Many of the Western women are married as was mentioned, or else they are young twenties and still in clubbing mode. THere are just far more available Asian women than Western women.
I'd be honoured to take you out on a date!
(No tongues though) LOL
good.
lol
maybe one day coming to date you.so take care!
looooooooooooooool
;-D
Some interesting points both by jadenblack and gypsy
"...how about the oposite? ...do western woman date asian guys and why? ...just wondering. no offence. ;-D"
Most of my previous partners have been "western" women, so that would be a categoric "Yes" then!
Nightowls yes.
lol
how are you dear?
Nightowlers again, we are?...lol
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent -Eleonor Roosevelt
how about the oposite?
do western woman date asian guys and why?
just wondering.no offence.
;-D
Jadenblack, you still have yet to give us any ideas on how to get rid of unwanted lapdogs! I'm looking forward to that information.
I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart
It is true that I did not consider the fact that some of the Western women may be married. I am not aware of the ratio between married and unmarried Western women here in Doha. However I do not think it is relevant for a couple of reasons. One, being that there are many married Asian women here (with their families) as well and two, I attempted to only describe what I have personally observed and believed to be available women when I have been out and about. If I saw a woman with a ring on or if she is obviously with her man (or men) I would not approach.
Also to Gypsy - I completely agree with you that people fall in love despite their race and background all the time. That was not the point I was trying to make in my original post (which was an extension from someone elses'). I was trying to answer the original question of why so many Western men and Asian women are here together or are getting together here in Doha. Before coming to Doha, I had never dated a Asian woman so I went a step further and wrote my personal experiences (that may apply or not apply to everyone). Personally, I do not discriminate against the race or religion of a woman when I am considering dating her. I do discriminate against smoking, drugs, looks, etc., but only when I am consider inviting a woman into my life. I imagine she does the same.
I do want to say I do not think any one race of woman is better than the other and I hope that is not how I came across. There are of course fully acceptable differences between all races and to deny that is ignorant. I think we would all agree it is good that we are different and beneficially educational when we can all get together.
Thank you for the original post and all the great responses.
In the original post the point of weight of numbers is important. There are many more Asian girls here, hence The chances are you would end up with an Asian girl.
When I arrived here I joked with friends that I would end up with an asian girl. Purely because after going out a couple of times you could see the situation here.
As I have posted before I am now engaged to a girl from Korea,di I go out of my way to do this nope, it just happened. I certainly didn't choose her because she was Korean we just clicked and I am very lucky, her being Korean is a bonus.
I am probably very different with her than I have been with any of my previous girlfriends. Why, because of the love and respect she shows me is more than I have experienced before and I try and repay this as best I can. So her being a better person has made me so, I can't do enough for her which is unusual for me.
Anyway I always ramble on about this subject but at the end of the day, there are many different types of girls and it doesnt matter what colour or race they are, some are good some are great and some are bad, being Asian doent make you a money grubber any more than being white does.
Hopefully we just end up with someone who makes us happy and that is the most important thing of all.
I personally would like a guy to pay a little bit of attention to me, but you're right tpm112, I wouldn't want him to hang off me and jump to my every whim. At the same time I don't like this attitude I get sometimes that Western women don't deserve to be treated this way. Also why is it that men can handle an Asian girl looking for a commitment, but they can't handle that from a Western girl?
I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart
15 years in Hong Kong and I saw the same. In fact, I (Western female) was with a Western guy for 7 years and we split up. He then dated a local Chinese girl and as we were part of the same social circle, I saw quite a bit of them socially (I even went to their wedding.... don't ask!)Anyway, when he started dating her, I hardly recognized him. With her, he was doting, protective, chivalrous etc. He had never been those things with me. I actually asked him why, and he told me that I wouldn't have wanted him to behave that way. I thought about it for a while and realised he was probably right. I really wouldn't want a guy to wait for me outside the bathroom, accompany me to the dance floor if he didn't want to dance, focus all his attention on me etc.
I think people behave in relationships according to what they believe their partner wants or is used to.
Men, your thoughts please?
I have that same dream JBH. Wouldn't it be awesome if everyone married someone from a race other than there own! We would all be gorgeous and smarter.
Anyway I'm going to go off on a tangent that will more than likely cause a stir, because that's what I like to do on a Sunday morning.
I was out on Thursday night with a group of friends. This group was made up of guys and girls from a lot of different backgrounds and cultures. Among this group were: An Arab girl and her Western boyfriend, an Oriental girl and her Western boyfriend, a Western girl and her Arab boyfriend and a Western girl and her Western boyfriend. (I'm not lying, there was also a bunch of single Western gals, guys and Arab guys and gals, and an Asian single guy).
So from watching this I observed the following. The Arab girl and the Asian girl were treated like gold by their Western boyfriends. If they wanted a drink, the guys jumped up to get them a drink, they wanted to go dance, the guys took them to dance (even if there was no one else on the floor). The wanted to go to the bathroom the guys went and stood outside the bathroom waiting for them, When one of them got bored and wanted to leave, even though he was chatting and looked to be having a good time, they left. Also, they never left the girls side, and were always always touching her in some way.
The Western girl and Arab guy, were similar, but not quite, if she wanted a drink, they both went to the bar (not sure who paid). He sat by her, and sometimes touched her, but was often invloved in other conversations as was she, but the moment she talked to him, he would turn and all focus was on her. They danced only when they both wanted to (usually the guy wanted to dance more than the girl, and Arab thing I think LOL). All in all they seemed to be having a good time, and I didn't even notice him checking out other girls.
The Western guy and girl, she got her own drinks and his, He stood and talked to his friends and she sat and looked at him and talked to the people around her (I don't think she knew anyone). She wanted to dance and he didn't, so she went to dance with other girls, all in all they hardly spoke all night.
Moral of the story...From my observations Western men are more inclined to treat Asian women better and with more respect than they do Western women. Why is this? I think it has to do with the fact that Western women are raised to be very independent, and hide a lot of things from western men, such as our desire for family, safety and security, because they are considered needy and not good traits in a western women. But for some reason these are perfectably acceptable and actually sought after in an Asian woman. Perhaps some Western men could elighten me with why this is?
I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart
Often I'm hassled by guys whenever I'm on my own and even when my husband is with me, the minute he moves like 5 steps away someone will try to chat me up. my reply is excuse me! I don't know you and I don't talk to stranger! but if he insist and tell his name then I'll just walk away and ignore him completely. One time there's 2 guys came right infront of me and one of the guy says "I'm a very intelligent man" I said really? well for me, you're stupid! he asked "Why" because I'm married"
Just keep dancing, it will do you good!
I dream that it is illegal and undesireable for anyone to marry a person from their own race.
I dream that would eradicate all racism within three of four generations.
And we will all become better looking.
I have noted that mixed race people are mostly very good looking.
You know, I started my earlier thread cause I was curious, but after reading all the responses and thinking about the topic, I came to the conclusion that if both parties are happy then who cares. But I agree the numbers do account, and it's more likely that a guy meets an Asian than a Westerner, so I guess it's also more likely that an Asian man would meet an Asian woman rather than a Western woman. But in the end, love doesn't have a nationality or religion or race...when ur in love, ur in love.
And Gypsy, we need to do something about the bunch of the lapdogs...hmmmm...telling them ur married wont work, being with girlfriends wont work (and sometimes being with guy friends doesnt work either!)...how about we tell them we got AIDS ? think that'll scare them away ?
So... if you turn the situation around, what do you all think of Asian men with Western women?
I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart
what do u mean bye lap dogs buddies ???????
Well said Jadenblack! It's not the first expat experience for many of the western men working in Doha, a lot of them may have worked elsewhere....and married elsewhere. I don't think it necessarily means that they are all getting together here, though it's not unheard of. Bangkok was the place to be about 7/8 years ago for example. So it makes sense to me that if a western man is working in Bangkok/Manilla etc, they are more likely to meet a beautiful Asian woman there to fall in love with than a western woman...Then things slow down in those countries so they are moved here and take the love of their lives with them....love is love.
Don't u think tht makes sense ??!! People just liking each other for who they are and not matter where theyr from n how each others skin color might differ .... It might not b the best combo to see an Indian with a Filipino or an American with an Indian or whatevere ... but if the 2 ppl are happy, it shouldnt matter to other people ... And to get rid of the lap dogs u call me Gypsy :P
Gypsy, you need to shoot the lapdogs.....
Jadenblack may I first commend you on your attempt to state your feelings regarding Asian women vs. Western women without condeming either group.
You and aviduser and Templar, manage to say the same thing, you fall in love with who you fall in love with, and race or upbringing doesn't matter.
However with regards to the whole get rid of the "lapdogs" if you know how to do that, please god tell me how! Just telling them to go away doesn't work!
I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart
Exactly ur keen observations are noteworthy, I am unable to take a western woman for a date or even find one its been ages.......
They have a huge class barrier for sure and all the more they make things really difficult to comprehend....
Thank you for ur support with the asian women..
The Thread about the western men and asian women before was really degrading for me, my husband is British and we have a son i didn't marry him just for his money it just happened that we fell in love...
It hurts me a lot when some people think that were just after their money, maybe in some case they are but not all.
Im really GLAD that you posted this thread to enlighten some people who thinks that were bunch of parasites....
Mabuhay!!!