Last month a new study found that, far from keeping a marriage together, talking too much about feelings and problems can drive a wedge between a couple.
Would you agree with this ? Is it better not to discuss everything ?
Talking about feelings and problems, imagine someone confessing that his next door neighbour's wife is all he wishes to be with and that he can't get off if he doesn't think of her...now, do you think this will do any good to the relation?
80% success comes from communication. To keep a healthy married life u have to keep a healthy communication level. On the other hand excess of everything is bad.... and we all know that :)
Yes, and I agree to that.. But I was merely adding to what you had to say, about couples must ideally do when facing hard times.
I firmly believe that the best way to remove all uncertainties in any sort of a relationship-be it friendship, partnership, family, any thing- is to communicate well with each other. Bring things to the table, no matter how awkward they may seem initially. And of course, no body will say 100% of the things which is on their mind, but at least its a start..
Speedysid - Support during bad times is important but some couples focus more on problems and how upset they are rather than try to solve things. I know a lot of couples who are fighting over something rather than sit,talk and think about solutions. It's ok to discuss problems but couples shouldnt forget to enjoy by having quality time together.
Agreed, abt couples sharing good time together.. To add a bit, it is also essential that couples support each other in bad times. It may be an illness, financial constraints, working hours, or whatever,- a couple must find ways to make things work and happen..This, I believe, sets a foundation for an open, trsutworthy relationship... A Hug during a bad time would be more worthy a bouquet of roses during a good time...
Agree on this..It's not necessary to discuss everything. It's ok to discuss problems but i believe that we should focus more on the positive things. Sharing Good times together more than arguing is what couples should be..
It might not be good for all but I know few who speaks a lot (voice chat) on a daily basis. It depends on both sides if both of them are interested to talk a lot or not.
Well, the general consensus seems, that while communicating with your partner is a good thing, too much of it isn't..
But then ,how does one define 'too much' communication... because, as partners, a couple would definately want to know as much as possible. It doesn't seem fair if a partner wouldn't know what the other is doing whereas the same is known to a 3rd person, right?
I don't think it's healthy to discuss every little thing that irritates you at any given moment, that would just sound like nagging, but sharing and talking about your feelings and issues is important to a marriage.
different strokes for different folks on this one...depends on the individual's personality & the kind of relationship the couple shares with each other...
If you dont share your feelings... you will feel frustrated...why not share it with partners? if he/she is not a good listener...maybe it can wreck the marriage..they will have to find someneelse to share feelings and more..:)
And again..Agreed! Your spouse is not your psychologist and whilst its essential to discuss burning issues one should know where to draw the line. I for one never wanted the whole "confession booth" or "soul baring" type marriage. Of course this is my opinion and I know some couples who do have such marriages and it has worked for them,Alhamdullilah. Its just not my cuppa!
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Talking about feelings and problems, imagine someone confessing that his next door neighbour's wife is all he wishes to be with and that he can't get off if he doesn't think of her...now, do you think this will do any good to the relation?
but not to be silent at all
80% success comes from communication. To keep a healthy married life u have to keep a healthy communication level. On the other hand excess of everything is bad.... and we all know that :)
best is to be a selective listener and respond to important and things of concerns!
i agree on this.... i always believe that some things are better left unsaid..
Agree its true
Yes, and I agree to that.. But I was merely adding to what you had to say, about couples must ideally do when facing hard times.
I firmly believe that the best way to remove all uncertainties in any sort of a relationship-be it friendship, partnership, family, any thing- is to communicate well with each other. Bring things to the table, no matter how awkward they may seem initially. And of course, no body will say 100% of the things which is on their mind, but at least its a start..
Speedysid - Support during bad times is important but some couples focus more on problems and how upset they are rather than try to solve things. I know a lot of couples who are fighting over something rather than sit,talk and think about solutions. It's ok to discuss problems but couples shouldnt forget to enjoy by having quality time together.
Agreed, abt couples sharing good time together.. To add a bit, it is also essential that couples support each other in bad times. It may be an illness, financial constraints, working hours, or whatever,- a couple must find ways to make things work and happen..This, I believe, sets a foundation for an open, trsutworthy relationship... A Hug during a bad time would be more worthy a bouquet of roses during a good time...
Agree on this..It's not necessary to discuss everything. It's ok to discuss problems but i believe that we should focus more on the positive things. Sharing Good times together more than arguing is what couples should be..
It might not be good for all but I know few who speaks a lot (voice chat) on a daily basis. It depends on both sides if both of them are interested to talk a lot or not.
Well, the general consensus seems, that while communicating with your partner is a good thing, too much of it isn't..
But then ,how does one define 'too much' communication... because, as partners, a couple would definately want to know as much as possible. It doesn't seem fair if a partner wouldn't know what the other is doing whereas the same is known to a 3rd person, right?
I don't think it's healthy to discuss every little thing that irritates you at any given moment, that would just sound like nagging, but sharing and talking about your feelings and issues is important to a marriage.
different strokes for different folks on this one...depends on the individual's personality & the kind of relationship the couple shares with each other...
Brit, but i saw people who discuss everything on daily basis.. talking every time with their spouse, still they have good relation.
Lincoln, but i want your full attention towards me :) sanity, 3 months passed dear :)
Agreed with FS on this "If you dont share your feelings... you will feel frustrated..."
If he/she is not good in bed, it will also wreck the relation!
Will tell after two three years.
I agree with you, no need to discuss each and everything
I am listening. But while I am listening I am thinking about something else. Maybe that's why, ingeniero?
Lincoln, i know you can listen me, if even i talk too much :)
If you dont share your feelings... you will feel frustrated...why not share it with partners? if he/she is not a good listener...maybe it can wreck the marriage..they will have to find someneelse to share feelings and more..:)
Lincoln, we men can handle and can listen each others for long hours.. but problem is other dept. :)
And again..Agreed! Your spouse is not your psychologist and whilst its essential to discuss burning issues one should know where to draw the line. I for one never wanted the whole "confession booth" or "soul baring" type marriage. Of course this is my opinion and I know some couples who do have such marriages and it has worked for them,Alhamdullilah. Its just not my cuppa!
ROFL ! Thanks for pointing that out.. Gives a different meaning to the post :O)
Communication is one of the keys to a healthy relationship., but too much of everything is not healthy anymore., so i agree ;)
Brit your title is misleading... lol taking?
I dont agree.... I want to listen ...but I dont like to talk..:)
You already talked too much, ingeniero!
I would agree with you - but are we a minority :O(
Agree, its better not to discuss each and everything for a long term and happy relations.. Good Morning Brit and Lincoln...
Agreed!