Surrogate mothers - realistic alternative?
The arguments against surrogacy include a consideration of the interests of the surrogate mother and the rights of the child. Some issues include:
1. What happens if the surrogate mother or commissioning couple change their mind?
2. What happens in the case of miscarriage or multiple births?
3. What happens if the child has serious disabilities?
4. What are the rights of the child?
5. Should payment be involved?
The Vatican does not approve of surrogacy finding that it is not morally licit because it is contrary to unity of marriage and the dignity of procreation of the human person. But with the society’s changing views about illegitimacy and the difficulty involving the legalities of adoption (i.e. Angelina Jolie’s children)...is surrogacy the best alternative for childless couples?
I understand the agony of not being able to have a baby just when one wants to and the power of that urge to have one's own biological child (four years of tests, operations and a stillbirth at 8 months) before finally having my second child. Even having gone through all that I wouldn't have wanted to adopt I'm afraid and while surrogacy wouldn't have been for me I can understand that for others it may work.
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"There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out". - Richard Dawkins
yes i do love that woman very much, cant say more than that and i have seen what she has gone through.
she could have children, but that would be purely God's miracle. knowing what i know, conception is very difficult, nearly impossible, but there is always a ray of hope.
this has all been in my mind, was thinking about the dynamics of it again once this topic came up.i feel, its too complicated to discuss it in words.there are so many questions and so many answers. only those involved would probably know how to deal with this better.
moreover people or rather women who do conceive easily dont exactly understand the pain or stress a woman goes through who is struggling to conceive. it becomes a obsession.this obsession to have your own blood child is strong to even ruin a marriage. no matter how much you try to reason the matter of adoption with them, it just doesnt sink in.
anyway time will tell.
how you doing butterfly? the baby must be getting wild now :-D.take care of yourself.and rest as much as possible.
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
I´m confussed, Why are you pointing your fingers at career-minded women? After all, surrogate mothers will have to face the same challenges of motherhood just like any other mother (minus 9 months of pregnancy). I think we are talking about mothers who are unable to conceive, regardless of their career...
Han, wow, it would take a lot of courage to carry somebody else´s baby! You must love that woman very much.
alhamdullilah i am blessed with two little angels and I can never Thank Allah for it enough becasue I knew, i would have problems having children. so adoption always was on my mind and insha'allah, i still wish to adopt a child.
Surrogacy is a very complicated procedure on the whole. But I have considered going for it, for someone very close to me, becaseu i know that woman may not be able to have a child. each one have their preference, some want to adopt, some are bent upon having their own blood child.it has to be a mutual decision.
its always been on my mind, thats all.never brought it out, until this subject came up here.
its crazy, but yes,i have actually thought of it.
Can i answer azzy's questions?
nope.
payment is involved when the woman is lending her womb.thats why its kinda become well known, because women are ready to sell their womb for money.
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
More and more women are becoming career minded and hence they are opting to surrogacy in the West and even in other parts of the world, where motherhood is considered as the noblest phase in a woman's life. Keen to become mothers and yet not willing to put their careers on hold, these career-driven women have given a new twist to the concept of outsourcing. This trend is giving rise to many sociological issues.
But if we look at from another point of view, I feel that these surrogate mothers are not doing any kind of offense. After all, they are bringing smiles to many childless families. Provided, that the health risks associated with the process must be taken care of.
if a couple would go to such lengths to have a child, this child would very much be wanted and loved.
Research carried out by the Family and Child Psychology Research Centre at City University, London, UK in 2002 showed surrogate mothers rarely had difficulty relinquishing rights to a surrogate child and that the commissioning mothers showed greater warmth to the child than mothers conceiving naturally. (Source: Wikipedia)
Good evening y'all.
I don't know how this became about unmarried couples and children out of wedlock, but back to the subject...
I think surrogacy is an unfair game. Because the surrogate mother will, no doubt, get attached to the baby who's been in her womb for 9 months, and it'll be hard for them to get seperated because the baby is also attached to her.
There are other alternatives like adoption, but if the parents insist on having a child with their genes, then there's invitro ferlization which also has its risks.
As for women who don't to get pregnant and want other women to do it for them...then I would suggest they don't have children at all! Cause a woman who doesn't want to carry her child for 9 months, won't want to take care of him/her for 18 years!
I'm heading for bed...will continue tomorrow then, guys...Goodnight!
But what concerns me is the aftermath which thesurrogate mother and the commissioning parents (hate that term) undergo just to have a child.
Yup, artificial insemination and planting (what a word) fertilized egg in another woman's healthy womb are 2 well-known methods, scientifically made possible.
But what about feeling of attachments.It further complicates this when payment for the "service" comes in the discussion.
I am talking about the wild wild west, where people have the freedom to have intimate relatiship putside the bond of marriage. Children suffer, even there! It was there by the way where that person was questioned loud and clear about the father's name, but none exists. The father was never seen. ever! Unless you are that child, you will never understand the pain. I understand
Well, i do know that there's a lot of unwanted pregnancies in the US. Like I said, I'm not particular with the laws and all that legalities.
In my country before the Family Code/Law was enacted, illegitimate child cannot carry the father's name or has no right over anything of their biological father's estate. NOW, the child can have his/her father's name and half of whatever the legitimate child is entitled to.
I'm not saying the SOCIETY now embraces or favors illegitimacy. Obviously, governments (in all country) do make actions like sex educations and the like.
What I'm saying is SOCIETY is changing it's views over illegitimacy. Back then, it was a disgrace to get pregnant without marriage and mostly than not, they hide the fact thru abortion, adoption. Nowadays, proper education, knowledge and support are given.
We're faraway from the real topic now...it's still Surrogacy.
llegitimate children pay the price of their parent's mistakes. I know a close friend in the US in that boat and now is coming to the middle east where someone will ask about the father's name because none is mentioned in the birth certificate. It is a painfull and embarassing situation.
In most of European Countries they are verry liberal with it.Married or unmarried makes not big difference as long as the kids are wanted,loved and cared.And there are many institutions where single mams can ask for help to be not separated from the kids.
I was speaking of society in which I live in. It slipped my mind that there are a different society/culture that still frowns on unwed motherhood. No offense meant, I forgot I'm in a different country with a culture so different from mine.
Who said anything about laws? I never said I want my children to give birth out of marriage? I'm sorry but I was thinking of the Family Code BACK IN MY COUNTRY. I don't know if the government here in Qatar have a different law about it.
i for one would not want any of my children to go the path I walked. But illegitimacy is not the question here, it's surrogacy...
I will choose adoption knowing that there are lot's of children around the world needing a home and a family!
I am not a mother yet and my doc said I am healthy to carry a child but if just in case I will not be lucky, I will choose adoption!
Cheers
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I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
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Back in the 80's and early 90's, it's a family's disgrace if their daughter gets pregnant outside marriage. I myself is an example of that, PM. I have to go through an eye of a needle to fight for my and my 2 kids survival and rightful place in the society without the help of my family. Back then, illegitimate children doesn't have equal rights like legitimate children have. Thus, adoption proliferated.
Nowadays, children born out of wedlock are recognized equally. These days, women has the choice to keep their child and single parent/mothers are given equal opportunities. Thus, adoption became a harder option.
Can be, sometimes really hard. A friend here had to wait two years for her little girl, from China, and the girl was already one year old when they could take her home. To adopt nationally would have taken her at least five years!
I don´t agree with the Vatican views, but I also find the topic very controversial. Lets just say that if adoption was an easier procedure, there would be no need for parents to desperately seek other options.