sh@t happens...all the time

listen to PM.

get yourself a bottle of red, some cigarettes and listen to some LOUD music....rock on!!!!!!

Punky Brewster, you'll regain your spunk someday soon ;0)

Actually, Alexa is perfectly right. (Btw, most of the others too). Anyway, I used to do almost everything I could think of to make my guy happy but learned that he just became complacent and took me for granted. And he kept looking out for someone better to come along.

It isn't you who has to prove yourself worthy. You ARE worthy. Your suitor has to prove himself worthy to be your man. Nothing less.

/Some years ago, my pals gave me a doormat to remind me not to be one. Maybe we should give you one too.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

but Piolo Pascual is gay!!!

but Piolo Pascual is gay!!!

you're a tough one...challenging

look at the bright side... it might be a blessing in disguise... for all you know, you'll be marrying Mr. Piolo Pascual, we never know.. so, cheer up girl! no worries!

read what she just said? "never cheat"... kick some of them out of your life now...I'm here to comfort them =))

it is usually the one who is loyal, trustworthy being cheated...what the heck, if you can't beat'em join 'em. Life's bitterness will just teach you how to be strong...

you could,

never cheat

you wouldnt help me directly, but some other girl wouldnt cry because some guy cheated on her, and then- i would feel better =)

in different shapes and forms not to mention in different hues...nevertheless...I couldn't say more or less coz I think all our fellow QLers gave you the advice of a lifetime...all you have to do is keep calm...be passive and think a zillion times what you want to do...smile and keep your faith alive...Good luck...=)

Mitzzyy Mitz

shi* happens and they come in groups... it's ok punky! i wish i could help you out...

couldnt agree more..

but one cant help to blame one's self especially if you've done evrything just to make the other happy and contented and i mean just all..and still be a "dog"

punky, you say : "maybe im just not good enough for him, maybe if id be beautiful, sexy, and rich he wouldnt leave me. i know how stupid that sounds, but come on, he wouldnt if i am, he practically be droolling all over."

You're still blaming yourself, many guys have wives that are fashion-model beautiful, and extremely rich, and pay for ecery wish they have. They still cheat because they are dogs.

lol GT , if u meant me no probs :)))))))))))))))))

sorry pajju, that means it's not meant for you :P

lol drac , thanx :)

I didn't do it!

And I'll not do it again!

drac why 200 points ? :P

can't go home just yet, still have debts to pay, and my family don't even know that i lost my job, i plan to tell them when i get a new one, i wouldnt want them to worry about me, i have no one here, no family, no friends, so they would totally go crazy if they find out. for the mean time i would collect my self and cheer up, there's a lot of people who's situation is worse than mine. Sayin all this helped me a lot, somehow, when i read your comments over and over, i kinda make the hurt lighter, and i can breathe now without fighting off the tears..= )

TYVM!

nice sign , but i cant accept .. lolz :)

I didn't do it!

And I'll not do it again!

is the increase due to the economic world crisis? =))

I didn't do it!

And I'll not do it again!

i think you're starting to cheer up... just keep logged on in QL for a start so you wont feel sad :)

you're young and in love (or think you are) and I recall the feeling well when you think a person can be everything you need...well, they can't be as the human condition prevails and sometimes men cheat and young women get hurt. You've received some great advice here and I will add my own if you don't mind. Go home...your friends and family will greet you with open arms as we all make mistakes and have occasional lapse in judgement.

You're young and have unfortunately learned a very hard lesson very early on..but you can be strong now, shake it off your heart and move forward, even a very little bit every day.

Wishing you all the very best,

Molly

I didn't do it!

And I'll not do it again!

my friends told me they're not used to seeing me moping..so there... 2 bottles of J&B still sounds like it'll cheer me up. haha

lol, good start, punky! :)

when exactly is in case of emergency? =)

I have 2 bottles of J&B just sitting at home, just in case of an emergency. You're welcome anytime to down it. :)

The internet is our revenge machine

I didn't do it!

And I'll not do it again!

Thats areally sad story.

It may seem difficult to change your way of thinking , but, you can use all these negative experiences in a positive and constructive way. You have learned the hard way that debt is dangerous , love can be blinded,use these as empowering lessons not destructive .

The past is done , it cant be redone so accept that.Prepare to move on .

Add up the balance sheet of your life and I am absolutely sure you will see that the positive aspects far outweigh the negative .

You have your whole life ahead of you , you ARE lucky , you have more years ahead of you than behind you.If I weas an envious person I would envy you that.

Friends , familly, health , all the things that are of REAL value,add them up . You see , already your balance sheet is looking better.

A few years ago I was extremely ill. I added up all the great things I have had in my life. It didnt cure me , but it gave me an inner peace to fight on , to face come what may .

Take care , I wish you well.

all the things that you all said made me cry all over again. im crying like forever already!but my tears today are happy tears, makes me feel good that somehow, some people cared, even if you guys don't really know me. i don't really want to kill myself, i love my family so much, and it would break their heart more than mine did, if i just go waste myself.

he told me that he love me and i am the person that he plans to marry,sweet words that tastes so bitter this time. he said he was sorry, and that it was in the past, we've known each other for 5 years, he left for doha 3 years ago, we broke up because of long distance communication, we got back together last year, some days after he slept with the girl, so he wasnt really cheating on me, or maybe, thats what i wanted to think. he told me that the girl was trying to squeeze money from him, for child support, so he sends money, and he found out recently that the kid was not his, or maybe thats what he says. i dont know anymore, i asked him why he kept this at me, had i known about this before i left the philippines i wouldnt go. had i known about this before, i had moved on with my own life, because i was just waiting to hear news about him that he got married or had kids, thats the closure that i was waiting for, because i still loved him after 2 years of not hearing from him, i waited, and hoped. and then one day he contacted me, and all the years was like days, of not seeing each other,. i made the impossible possible, i proved to him how much i love him without asking anything in return, and then this. TRUE, i lost myself in the process, i asked him why, why does he have to hurt me so much,he only said he's sorry. . .

maybe im just not good enough for him, maybe if id be beautiful, sexy, and rich he wouldnt leave me. i know how stupid that sounds, but come on, he wouldnt if i am, he practically be droolling all over.

hahaha

anyhow, your words gave me strenght. to take one step at a time.

thank you all so much.

ksarat most esp...

thank you so much for your words..

and id probably join filexpat one of this days...=)

attend the gatherings, we'll cheer you up! Maybe somebody will help you find another job and everything will be put into place one by one! As Alexa said, YOU first. Com'on to the group and re-aligned your priorities!

"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"

You seem so depressed, you need to cheer up, nobody is worth that much sadness and low self-esteem. Just don't go that way, everybody here on QL loves you.

I'll tell you some of the things you have surely thought about:

He is not a MAN. Just forget about him, you need to leave him, his presence close to you is toxic. Forget about what your friends and family says, if the blame you, then they're not true friends.

YOU are in control of your life, and you can do whatever you want.

I wouldn't stay with a cheater, no matter how much I loved her, I would just burn my heart and leave.

Cant u guyz just explain in just simple 1-2 lines instead of typing the whole Essay ?? :(

ksarat16 ...You are right...He lost her trust...and He would have kicked her out if she had done the same thing.

But..should she give him another opportuinity?

I think she should.....depending upon his past record. If he is a serial lay, which I guess that other girl was, then I think she should let go.

This decision will be based upon the outcome of several past instances of faithfulness & loyality. She has to check if he has betrayed her trust in the past. She has to do this because the person is close to her heart.

What I would like to ask is how would she react if her beloved brother/son did something like this to some other girl.

Would she forgive him? Would she cut all ties with him?

I dont think so.

Hey brother, good morning, I have to say, your writing was quite nice indeed, but I have to disagree to a few points...

What you say about ambition and determination is wonderful...and the way you talk about her courage to leave things behind and follow her heart is wonderful...and the fact about Men not able to refuse free sex is also quite true mate...

Here is the part where I dont agree...you ask her to follow her heart...fair enough...but wouldn't you agree to this point...:

When a man knows there is someone across the borders, across the seas, beyond the oceans, who is there, waiting and continuoulsy showering her love over this man, would you call the man's inability to refuse free sex or no strings attached relation correct or appropriate...

When you have someone far away who has travelled half the world, leaving behind all her things that she once used to call "HER OWN" including friends, family and her own self travelled all the way here, to just BE with you, to be there for you, and to see that you are taken care off and given all the love with, do you still call the guy's choice of selection of him to find another girl quite fair...

I accept Jackie boy, that when we tend to follow the heart, because we forget that we can also use the brains sometimes to think, but thats us humans cos we have a lot of emotional values...but do you still tell a person to follow or listen to her heart, when unfortunately it was her heart that led her to leave everything behind, join this person and be with him only to find out something totally unacceptable...

when we think from our heart, we tend to be foolish enough to forgive all the things that opposite person does that can and should break the trust and belief that we have in our partner...and my friend, why keep thinking from your heart and keep giving yourself blind belief that its just a one time "SLIP"...when you try out another girl, when you are already with someone, my friend, that calls for lust and not love... you dont break someone's trust my friend, you break a person's heart, it can heal over time, but u break a person's trust, then I tell you, that person starts loosing faith in her own self, cos it was her decision to place her trust in him, and when he breaks it, you tend to blame yourself and loose faith in yourself...which is something that you wouldn't want a person to loose...

If she was to do this, he would tell her to buzz off the next moment, but if a man does it, we tell the girl to give him another chance...HELL NO BOY!

At the end of the day, when we are in a situation where we end up loosing faith in the opposite person (not in the future of the relation) we should let our brains do the trick which our hearts dont tell us!!!

But as such a few things that you said again, are totally impressive my friend!

Cheers!

agree with GT, try to think what you need to do... it's not the end of the world although, we just never know eh... anyway, so you stumble and fall, tough right? you cannot bear to face your family and friends anymore, there is nothing to be ashamed of coz you never did anything wrong.. in time, you will find that they are proud of you especially if you get back up, move on and be strong.. i know it's hard believe me...

Would it feel any better if I tell you all guys are pigs...myself included.

Its very, very, very hard for guys to refuse free sex, or sex with no strings attached.

But that doesnt mean that he does not love you. He might not do what you did..."leave your job and go in search of him", but then not many people will be able to do what you did.

What you have is ambition & determination ...you can accomplish a lot of things you set your mind to. Not many people can do that.

What you did till now is follow your heart. It usually tells you the correct answer. Now again listen carefully to your heart...if it says he loves you, then you stay with him ...if your heart says he really doesnt care for you then you leave him.

Forget about friends & family ...their opinions are based on the success of your actions/decisions.

If the decision you take is successful then they praise you if the same decision fails they tear you apart.

I would say leave him only if he is a serial offender. There are many reasons other than sex that can make a marriage sad.....things like terminal illness like cancer, AIDS, Leprosy, Tuberculoses etc...You are lucky your guy doesnt have any of these.

Eizks Bhai....goood morning to you brother...

What do you mean I write a lot, hell no...I dont write too much... LOL! Yeah yeah ok but do you freaking read what I write or just comment blindly... :P How are the family rey babua...!!!

Greentea...LOL...very funny girl...how you been doing...going alrite, hows family folks...and I'm no Dr. Phil hell no...!!! you dont freaking read what I write also do you!! :P

a DR. PHIL of Qatar Living? :D))

Ksarat bhai.....

Boss how you type so much, early in the morning ..:(

Anywayz, i just have to words 2 say " Good Morning" ..:)

Seriously, its easier said than done, I understand...

But hey its not easy to give up a life too...

I mean why would you want to give up your life for someone else's mistakes...there are many a time that we face in life where we think, Daaauyyummmmn should I have been in this position ... at this time...but trust me...nothing in life is worth regretting or sitting upon over ... for god's sake girl, you aint sitting on a Egg for it to Hatch, so why sit even at the same place if u know there aint any egg coming out...GET IT!

So quite frankly, I accept recession and all is there, but finding a temporary job isnt tough in this place, so put your heart and efforts to finding a job here, and then carry on with life, rather start a new life...

And the guy, well as everyone said, dont even bother yourself thinking a stint bout the guy...I wouldnt comment on whether he is worth it or not, but You as a person who has given so much love are just tooo waay high up above him to be even looking down at him...so dont bother...shake off that dirt and start climbing out of the sand pit again...once you get over the top and reach for the last mile you will surely see a new sunrise filled with a lot lot of sunshine and happiness...so cheers and people the rest of us all...

Lets raise a drink sometime soon for the new and revised Punky LOL! :P

So yea girl, seriously, Wake up and Move on...there is surely something if not better something different waiting for you ... Even better girl, make some good friends...trust me, parents are always there to support you no matter what, but guess what, Friends if you have, then you wouldn't remain with much time for yourself...just go out and Partaaaay!!!

as long as you live, there's always hope... find comfort with your friends and pray always. believe in the power of prayers.

or is HE still IN LOVE WITH YOU?

Either way, YOU need to decide FOR YOURSELF this time....

First, since you're already here (while the rest of our kabayans are adamant to go abroad), might as well exert ALL EFFORTS to FIND A to sustain yourself here in Qatar. That at least will divert your attention from THIS GUY for a while

Second, once you have a job, you'll get to know more people and have more friends...your horizon/world will widen and somehow, it will help you move on one step at the time.

You yourself said that you can't go home (just yet) to face your family/friends...so BE AN ADULT and face the consequences of it...

GOOD LUCK!!!!

i think you just have to GO ON, everything that has happened to you, happened for a reason. Life sometimes can be exruciatingly painful and it's not the end of the world for you. Learn from this experience and you'll be a stronger person. I know it is easy to say all these thing, but you'll get by, and PRAY for guidance!

=Dura Lex Sed Lex=

Punky it seems you already have so many good advices. Go ahead and decide by yourself. If I put myself in your shoes, I will definetly leave him and move on. No need to keep lieing to yourself about him. You definetly know him much better and you can make a wise decision. Its one time pain but its worth it so go ahead. Good Luck exploring Qatar and remember there is always something better coming in the way.

Peace.

The simple answer is that YOU ARE WORTH IT. You had the courage to take bold steps to do what you did, now you should have the extra courage to move on with your life..

I understand how you feel. My advice for you would be..dont leave the guy YET!Get a job,make new friends, keep your options open, be strong and never give up!

Once you know that you're ready to leave him, just go and dont ever look back!

i know you love him and hes everything to you and yada yada...but its not worth it!trust me on this!You're still young and single. Dont sacrifice yourself now for someone who doesnt deserve you!

And talk to your parents, they are the only ones who will always be there for you no matter what happened.Im serious!

You need to be strong punky!If i can do it, im sure you can,right!Keep in mind that what doesnt kill you,it makes you stronger!

"If things take an occasional turn you hadnt planned on,

dont be tempted to call it a mistake, just call it life,

and tuck the experience in your back pocket for safe keeping. Pretty soon you can take it out, share it with someone else and call it wisdom."

Well...

I can say that a person that lies has no loyality, honor, or integrity.

And as simple as that.... There is your advice.

You should simply leave this man/boy alone.

To many things have happened.

Your soul sounds hurt to much to me to be waiting and stressing for the next pending lie.

It would be of a great advantage to you to go on with your life for now.

Perhaps you ending the relationship may bring light to him to change his ways.

Either way, it will benefit you.

Imagine dating someone that did not lie to you....!

I think you know what to do....

Bloody regards,

Drac

Honey, I know it's been said before, but no guy is worth it. You are young and while your feelings are strong now, time will give you perspective. We've all been there, feeling humiliated by the one we love to the point of not caring about ourselves. But first of all, are you safe where you are now? Do you have a place to live and friends to talk to? It's important to talk with people you trust. I understand that most people will tell you just to leave the jerk, but that will be up to you, when and if you are ready. But I do want to point ou that if you are not married then the issue of infidelity is a little less of a "deal breaker." It's only when you are married that you vow to be faithful. Perhaps the two of you can work this out, perhaps you will decide to move on. But give yourself some time and some self-care. Just keep repeating the words of Gloria Gainer, I WILL survive.

Mandi