Polygamy In North America

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There are different versions of how people want to live their lives, and the way they want to meet their creators in the other life.

Some prefer to follow their religion and marry only 1 partner. Others prefer to follow their religion and marry more than 1 wife IF THEY HAD TO.

Another woman with a different religion, or who doesn't wish to follow any religion, would prefer to be a mistress of a married man, or even married men, or live with a man (and have kids) without marriage, or live with another woman, or live with another couple...etc. There are even some closed communities living in groups where men & women have sex with all the members of these communities/groups where no one is actually certain about the identity of the father when a female gets pregnant (all the generations are actually bastards, i.e, they were born out of wedlock).

Animals also have sex without any regulations, religions, disciplines, or whatsoever. People can follow animals, or they can follow regulations/religions. It is how much value they want to add to their sex/family lives/offsprings to differentiate them from animals, that will determine the way they want to be committed to (a) partner(s).

God gave us brains to chose what we find suitable. Everybody can be wrong....or right! No need for pointing fingers!

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Dear PM,

Yes! it is legally sanctioned not only in Mindanao, but in the entire Philippines though its applicable only to Filipino muslims.

We Muslims in the Philippines are following two laws, The Phil. Constitution and The Shariah/Islamic Law. Philippines is a democratic country, and everyone are free to practice their own religion and beliefs.

@Karin--> Muslim man(including Filipinos), are allowed to marry more than one wife at the same time BUT..Muslim woman are not, provided that she is legally divorced with her 1st husband, then she can marry another one at a time.

But either Polygyny or Monogamy, we Muslim woman cannot be force to marriage without our consent. Consent of marriage from the bride is one basic requirement in Islamic Marriages. I think, force marriage is cultural issues rather than religious issue.

Hope it helps:)))

I havent been able to get the male/female population ratio of Qataris

Although as per the General consensus the percentage of males is three times higher than females. (now that is one big imbalance) No wonder people are so sex starved here

okay guys me is off from this thread. enjoy the statistics

on infant mortsality rate

http://www.planning.gov.qa/AnnAbs/2006/First-Section/VITAL-STATISTICS/T59.htm

you can check out the mortality rates

I havent been able to get the male/female population ratio

Statistics and statistics

Once again I will be moving to another college and the journey goes on

Thats the one Prof (just checked your profile). I will be wasting my time in chemical labs and then after 4-5 years I will write a thesis with loads of references that no one will care to check. Havent decided the topic yet

for 1:1 ratio whoever did the calculations at the Ministry of Health did an excellent job.

and Thanx for reminding me that infant mortality rate is the infants death rate.

and you are right infant mortality rate cannot be used to calculate the population ratio. so i retract my statements on everything.

and PM

I recently had the chance to go to texas A &M university. its a nice building, but I couldnt find the library and finally when I asked someone she told me that the books are in boxes. and there is no computer that I could use. as all of them are for the faculty,staff and student use. I remember in my university anyone could come and use the computers in the library and anyone could borrow the books. our main library was open 24 hrs. I met some people and I guess they are having a hard time attracting researchers. Anyways there was also an article on this issue in a foreign newspaper. You might have heard about it.

And honestly Qataris are very very lucky people as they all have jobs when they join the university. Not like me and others.

I will be going to Texas University in States very soon

Knox-

then why on the ministry of health's website does it state that the male to female ratio is listed as 1:1?

Infant mortality rate is different than birth rate. Infant mortality rate is the rate at which infants die per a set amount of births, not the rate of infants born.

Once again, I state that although more males may die, more must be born at birth.

You cannot use infant mortality rates to calculate population ratio.

you must have remote have access to the databases. isnt it. Any possible way I can get remote access

The reason for this if you read the world book of encyclopedia (I doubt I have it anymore) is because they havent been able to calculate the real percentage of women in Qatar due to the "Purdah" (veil) reason. This is exactly the word that was used in the world book of encyclopedia.

As for infant mortality why is it correct because 98% of infants are born at the hospital and the hospital staff can easily collect the data.

I believe that there is a reason for everything what God has asked us to do.

You just mentioned that female infanticide was practised in Arabia. Even though it was practised and they were not successful even after killing so many female babies.

Female infanticide is still practiced in some places and think if wasnt for the male infants mortality rate there would be a serious shortage of women.

and you have access to which database

Knox-

Your argument for infant mortality rate does not work because the living ratio of grown males to females is still 1:1. So how does this apply to living rates? Sure more males must die at birth than females, but the living ratio is still 1:1 so more males must be born in the first place.

So because more male babies die at birth, it should be ok for men to have multiple wives even though the living ratio is still 1:1?? How does that argument make sense?

It was even practised before the advent of islam

everyone is different. everyone has their own ideas on how family life should be. i know some people who think the whole idea of even a monogamy marriages is oppressive to women.and that marriage is a silly idea.

i don't think we should going around pointing the finger at people. not everyone believes that polygamy just like not everyone hates polygamy.

the world doesn't have to submit to one type of lifestyle or thinking.neither does the world have to submit it's self to the same culture.

Salam Amnesia, I'm enjoying your comments on QL. I'm curious as to your position on having a girlfriend and being a Muslim. I'm not being sarky, I'm genuinely curious. _______________________________________________________________

'Love is the answer...'

or any other research database let me know i would like to dig up a research journa. unfortunately I have yet paid the dues for my p.hd so I dont have access to my journal database yet

You can check the infant mortality rate of male and female babies on cia worldbook website.

I was also involved in collecting data at the john hopkins on the infant mortality rate and it was seen that female babies have a higher chance of living than male babies for unexplainable reasons

for qatar from cia website

total: 17.46 deaths/1,000 live births

male: 20.6 deaths/1,000 live births

female: 14.16 deaths/1,000 live births (2007 est.)

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/qa.html

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/us.html

you people can check it out

I will try to access the research database if i still have the subscription and post the article over here

"poor old widow as a second wife" that would never happen, how could she have his children? LOL

No doubt it was an interesting topic....but in the end left a strange feeling dont know we musim cant defend our religion and its teachigs...after all our Nabi Pak was in polygamy whom we beleive to be the best of human beings and to follow his path is the ltimate goal of all muslims because we believe all his life was according to what Alaah wanted from him...anyway there shouldnt be questions when it comes to faith....we do not,should not and cannot change what our religion has taught us....I m happy that I m a believer and think this way....yes sometimes things sound and seem strange to the world of logic and material but it is also accepted...that we cannot define,judge, analyze or decide everything in this world of appearances only....especially when we believe as muslims written in our book...all this world is world of illusions...

I think he meant in a Global scale.

His logic was that women outlive men, so eventually, there will be more women than men. (sorry if I'm wrong)

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knox- that doesn't make any sense for example the ratio of male to female Qatari's in qatar is 1:1. Is the USA its also 1:1, and in the USA, polygamy is out-lawed.

I got these number's from the government of Qatar's website.

for example, my girlfriend is foreign. When she first started going out with me, she clearly asked me about the 4 wives issue. It was smart of her to make sure that I was a safe person before getting involved :)

@Knox, that actually makes sense.

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why men can have more than one wife is because the mortality rate for males babies is much higher than female babies (I read it in a research journal). So if everyone just married one there would be a surplus quantity of single women and this can lead to extramarital affairs

PM- looks like we posted the same thought at the same time! I didn't mean to repeat what you just said, but I agree with you.

Fluffy,

you make getting a divorce an easy thing that is no big deal. If my husband wanted a second wife and I didn't, it would break my heart. Its hard to just divorce the man you have been married to and love- even worse if you have children.

So, should the wife get a divorce and become a single mom? Divorce is a very serious matter. And even if a contract is written up with no second wife stipulated, the husband can still get one if he wants because who is to stop him? The wife? Either she allows it, or lives unhappily with the thought that her husband wants to be with another woman, or gets a divorce and looses her husband?

Amnesia: I didn't mean to imply that all women who allow their husbands more than one wife to be uneducated. Sorry if you got that impression. I just meant, that maybe had she been allowed to go to school, had opportunities would she still have wanted to marry someone who was 80 when she was 14. Its a tough situation, and I am just grateful that I will never be in it. I agree, Qatar is an amazing place, with amazing people :)

PM: No, I have not converted to Islam, and I don't think I will although I don't have anything against it. Feel free to ask me questions if you would like, I don't mind.

My issue with polygamy is not grown up educated women choosing to be a multiple wife ( although its hard for me to see it and think they are happy, but if it is their choice, and completely their choice, then great) its the young girls who are 13,14, 15, who are pressured to marry someone, even 17,18 is so young if the husband is 50 or older.

I also feel that there is a fine line between the woman having a choice and being pressured by family. If your parents came to you and said we found the guy you should marry- and even though you can say no-do you think you would when your parents think it is right and that you should?

i wouldn't have use to the cat example because like you said women are not animals.nor is getting a wife like a pet.

but look at it this way. people have more than one kid. does a person have more than one kid because they don't like their first child anymore?

now i personally would prefer not to be in a polygamous situation. but i never condemn women that do choose it.nor do i judge them. and like a i said men have different reasons for getting another. it's just not one reason for it.

and i women who are in polygamous marriages.they are ok with it. and other women that i know that were not ok with it just got a divorce.

that's why i say to muslim women, that if they don't want their husbands ever getting a 2nd wife they need to put it in the marriage contract before they even get married to the man.

Sorry but 100? In Islam it's 4 and I highlighted the reasoning behind it. I didn't understand what you meant about women being denied choice though?

Maybe you missed what I said but the woman has to 'allow' the man to marry more than one wife. That's a choice.

@Karin, no only men can have 4 wives, it doesn't work vice versa.

@jass, your quesetion implies that all women who allow their husbands to have more than one wife are not educated. Which of course is a completely untrue generalization.

I personally will marry one wife and only one wife. Just because it's written in the Quraan, it doesn't mean you HAVE to marry 4 :P and not that all women WANT their husband to have 4.

As for your friend's reasoning for marrying three wives. I guess each person has his own reasons, but his reason is just stupid and IMO goes against Islam.

As for Qatari men who marry foreign women and then Qatari women, 1) it's an excuse to say they want to make the family happy or 2) it can actually be true. I've heard of it before.

Remember, Qatar is a country which is amazing because of it's heritage and the fact that the new generations are changing it so much.

^_^ It's impossible to generalize Muslims, or Middle Easterners, or Arabs, or Qatari's :)

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I was talking to a friend the other day about having multiple wives.

He is from a family where his father had three wives and he would like to have three wives as well. I was treading very carefully as this subject tends to upset me. HE told me his mother was the third wife, and she was happy. He also said she had never learned to read or write, or gone to school. So, I am wondering if she had been educated would she still have wanted to be a third wife?

Back to why he said he wanted three wives. I just couldn't understand why he would want three wives, if he loves the first one, how could he want another woman to take him away from her. This is what he said to me. "You have three cats right?", yes I have three cats. "well, after you got the first one, didn't you love him so much that you wanted to get another?"

I almost exploded with rage. My husband was in the room watching me, trying not to laugh as he could see how mad I was at that statement.

Women are NOT animals, your wife is not a pet. He actually believed this too, having three wifes is the same as having three cats. A wife is your partner, your friend, your lover. A cat is none of these.

As to the comment that Qatari men who marry foreigner also must take a second wife to appease their family...I doubt there is any fact to this statement. Has anyone heard of this before? I have not.

If males can have a hundred wives then whats the whole point of religion? No religion lets a human being have 10 wives.... That equates to prostitution......Moreover the women although being respected are denied the freedom to exert their choices...

But i cannot carry the whole point of freedom to another level like in the US where things are without an order

If males can have a hundred wives then whats the whole point of religion? No religion lets a human being have 10 wives....

im from monogamous country. i just wonder if in Islam women could marry more than 1 as well or it is only aplicable to men?

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Faith has to be WITHOUT reasoning

Salam PM, can't agree with you more about the politically-motivated movements and the efforts to stifle the people. It's a pity so many people have succumbed to this. Critical thinking is SO important. ________________________________________________________________

'Love is the answer...'

Your reply is excellent.

I think we could be called NEO-Muslims :P

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Now I understand where your reply came from.

You thought that I was saying that it was meant for a period of time. I was NOT saying that. I was saying the reasons for why it was important when it STARTED.

I also wanted to point out the part where we have to treat women completely equally when marrying more than one wife.

"The condition must be noted: {... and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice, then one (only)...}

In addition to the following, which according to many is almost a "freeze" on the above permission:

{Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so).} (S:4, A:129)" (from Muhaddith.com)

Also, temporary marriage is allowed in Shi'ah (I'm Sunni though). Temporary marriage is also known as Zawaj Mit3a (Enjoyment Marriage), which is a way to have s*x without 'breaking' the rule of no s*x before marriage. I don't agree with it, but then again, everything is free to believe in their own way :)

@ Red_pope, I can assume you are Christian, but where are you from? (if it's alright for me to ask ^_^ )

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i apologize i didnt realize you were a muslim.

Thank you PM and Red_Pop ^_^

@fluffy, sorry but perhaps you misunderstood my information along with my opinion.

It is only in my opinion that if a person wants to marry another woman, there must be a reason behind it. I'm 99% sure that some of the love must be lost for the first, whether it be 100% or 50% or .01%

But your point is right and matches what I was saying about woman telling men to get other wives for special reasons. That shows me that the woman loves her man enough to sacrafice his complete attention and devotion. The point being that the woman has to 'agree' to allow her husband to marry.

You know what they say, you have to be seperated from a person to get closer to them. Imagine being seperate 4 times! Lol (just a little joke)

but I resent your tone in your message. I'm not trying to make myself seem like a scholar at all, it's what I understand and what I was taught.

However I'm sorry but it's people like you that pull us down or make us (Muslims) seem big headed. If you have information that contradicts mine, then kindly teach me!

We have to teach each other in Islam! And HOW DARE YOU SAY I DON'T BELIEVE IN ALLAH.

May God forgive your small mind and rude words. Never question someone's place, it's not your place. My religion is between me and my God.

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Polygamy is a sin and it is not allowed in my nations by law, traditions and cultural.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

where are getting that a man has to love all of his wives equally? that is not a condition. it's impossible for man to love all of his wives at the same level. it's a like how a parents loves all of their children but also has a favorite child. or how a child might love their mother/father more than another parent.

and a man marrying another woman has nothing to do with him losing affection for the other wife or kicking the 1st wife to the side. there are many different reason why a man might marry another woman. i know some women that cant have babies. so they tell their husbands to get another wife so that he can have children.

a man having 4 wives is allowed because Allah has made is halah. now if you don't believe in Allah then that's one thing. but don't try and act like you are some scholar on polygamy in Islam.

if polygamy was meant to be only or a period of time. in the quran i would have stated that it was only for a period of time.

for example temporary marriage was halah for a period of time in the early years of Islam but then after that time had pass the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) forbade it.

*sighs* it seems that some people just want to believe personal reasons rather than think of the real reasons.

Anyway, here is the reason why a man can have 4 wives in Islam.

This is an ancient rule which was set especially during the times when men used to go out and battle.

Many men wouldn't come back. It used to be that BEFORE Islam, a man would trust his neighbour to take care of his wife.

Anyway, a man would then be able to Marry more one than wife to take care of her and provide for her if there were not alot of men in the village.

Times have changed now however ONE key part of Islam is that it remains unchanged.

God said a man can have more than one wife but he must give them each equally, treat them equally and love them equally.

This day and age, you have to admit that it's near impossible, so if you can't follow those three rules, then you can't marry more than one wife.

One reason that a man may wish to marry another woman is because he's lost interest in his first wife (gone out of love), however he may feel that if he stays married to her he can take care of her and still provide, especially since it is difficult for a married woman to get remarried in Arabic countries.

Additionally, women's equality is increasing. I don't know ANY woman friend of mine that would allow their husband to have another wife. (Yes the wife must allow it or can divorce the husband under grounds of not being happy)

I know that if I told my girlfriend I wanted to marry more than one woman she'd tell me to F*** off :p

Point is, give your heart to one person and remain devoted, if you feel that you need to marry another person, it means you've lost your affection and should move on rather than holding someone by their heart strings :)

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Yeah It happens everywhere whether under religion or without religion... Woman of substance how do u describe that ??

Sex trafficking in the Us(California ) is the maximum in the US... It just like some lousy reporter from the BBC or CNN comes to India and Uncovers the hidden secrets of kamasutra and rampant poverty....

Excellent pointers.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

WOW........steamy s*x is that what u mean........sorry if I crossed the line.

byee for now folks goto go home.

I also have very high respect and appreciation for that man

I understand dear.......and I was also not refering to u either.......u have pashtun blood dont u?....lol....have a nice evening.....and may God bless u and ur children

Wow! You rocked in this thread. Way to go ma'am.

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Yay! Way to go Ray!

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walikum us salam

"Chitoori" is from farsi not pashtu.

Who has been teaching you pashtu? looks as if he has been teaching you persian instead of pashtu

U can b vociferous as any but I can say for myself if at all I decide to marry again I WILL LUV AND TREAT BOTH EQUALLY....(with the blessing of God)

obviously u have to look at things in total magnanimity to understand my view point which women of this age apparently LACK.

As you have brought up the Ayyat's from the Holy Quran, I will not be contributing any more to this thread, as I respect all religions

but you have seen any man who treats all his wives equally

Why do people always assume thats its affairs or second marriages are for mens purposes or needs only.Granted most men do this but so do some women. i know a few women who have affairs with married men..just for fun..with no intention of any serious commitments and they knew they were married from the start.

I also know of 1 woman who is a second wife and is friends with the first one and this arrangement works for them. Both just want part time husbands...Whats wrong with that if it makes them happy. thats the beauty of life...we r allowed to be different and we dont have to conform to what society tell us to do..Some prefer marriage,some prefer polygamy,some prefer flings and others jus relationships..Whatever takes your fancy i say....

I guess in this part of the world where I am living, dont know about you, pig is conisdered highly sacred and is not allowed to have contact with the human beings, incase it might get some germs or bacteria from the human beings

And Gypsy I was looking forward to more compliments :))

"And they called me a hypocrite for telling them why...."

Can you tell me why does it matter to you so much whether I am an Afghani or an American (leaving behind the good relation between the two)

What if I am an Afghani what will I get.(I dont want to stay at The Guantanmo Hotel)

and What if I am not an American What will I get.

better be something good and exciting.

and Rayyz: No comments

Knox. Pig is not a curseword. It is a small animal that is rather tasty or a rather stubborn man with a distaste for strong women.

Fluffy, DO you really think there was no family pressure for Shikha Mozah to marry the Emir?? marriage to the leader of a very wealthy country is not something that most people would easily pass down, and something the Misnad family would hardly let her turn down. Even if her father was very liberal, anyone who has been here long enough knows that it's not just the fathers opinion that matters, but the mothers, uncles, brothers, grandfathers, cousins etc. I don't think the idea of saying no even so much as crossed her mind it was such an impossibility.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

PM..I'm talking about the consent of the second wife..wife to be....whether she accepts a married man or not...

Personally I would rather be a mistress then a 2nd wife. That way I can maintain my freedom and he has no legal hold over me and I have none over him. I don't see the purpose of an extra marital affair or a second wife other then more sex for the man, so lets not try and make it sound nicer then it is by bringing and act of love and commitment like marriage into it.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

I suppose being human u cannot luv all ur wives equally......nor do we luv all our children equally......one is mama's favourite and one is daddy's darling.

My point is why make things illegal and /or immoral when there is a legal way. Basically today people say they r free but r actually living their lives in bonded slavery.

just a question

How do you know I am not lying?

Angel, God or Devil

Although I am deeply interested in continuing this discussion but looking at the personal attacks and when I have already been called a liar, I gues whatever I say will be considered a lie. So better sit quiet when the other person is not interested in hearing and has accused you of being a liar

Regards

KC

I cannot be in a polygamus relationship...and i couldnt be with a man who has a mistress...but for some women they can...and if they were a second wife with rights wouldnt that be better than being a mistress who is misled by the man with empty promises.....as long as she agrees(which in Islam they have to consent as if the woman doesnt consent then it is not allowed)..this is where culture sometimes conflicts with religion and people mistake it for religion. Everyone has different circumstances in their life that makes them do things other people would never accept..As long as no one is being forced into it....let them be...

"And are you Afghani or American?"

I knew that there are different standards for the people from Afghanistan and America and now I can see why

You too, Brutus

anyways as long as it is a healthy discussion with no personal attacks (i still regret making personal attacks one QL member)I dont mind the discussion but as soon as someone starts attacking my country or starts questioning my background and about the color of my passport. I think it is better to stop the discussion before the things go out of hand specially when someone gets furious and resorts to personal attacks on one's country or his nationality

lets make it even if i say some women have affairs with their CEO's and some guys have affairs with their female CEO's.

We all know who is nailing who:

a mistress is nothing but a play thing. i rather be some one's second wife than a mistress. at least i know the law will protect my rights in case of the man acting like a fool and doesn't want to take care of me. at least if I'm a second wife he cant just drop me without taking care of any responsibility.

and yeah you are basically saying adultery is better than marriage. we mines well just drop marriages all together because some men treat their girlfriends better than some men treat their wives

it matter where I am from? Does it matter what is the color of my passport? does it matter what is the color of my skin

Should i call it racism? or discrimination

sheikha moza is not even from the al-thani family. she is a misnad. so how was she forced into it.i highly doubt she was forced into marriage. she's an intelligent woman.

do you ever think it's possible for an arab woman to actual choose who they want to marry. or do you just assume every arab woman is forced into a marriage she doesn't want?

where is the cursing. I believe in one of Gypsy's post she called me a pig.

and lets stick to the topic

Why is it that so many strippers get married to rich guys. you know the fact whether you admit it or not. Why is it that there is a very small percentage of guys doing the same

I just have to dig up the internet to quote some examples

I asked that question way in the beginning of this thread. Still remains unanswered.

Gypsy uses men, she has toy boy's for fun. Can you imagine? So much for blaming men.

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u blew some steam though. Must have Irish background.....lol

I fail to understand why do women willingly accept the role of a mistress to a married guy........if women refuse to accomodate married guys then infact this species would b a lot better off.

Men r not to blame.

I have attended some conferences in canada but not school

who married the rich people just for the sake of money

starting with Anna Nicole Smith

there might be some guys as well who did the same. why cant i think of them

and as for you Rayyz: I am not going to comment on your post or on your country, which ever you belong to. dont care. you can talk as much as you want bout me about my country.

that is definitely freedom of speech

Dude you're losing direction now. I am well aware of desperate men in the malls and the bars. See the entire argument wasn't about whether there are sex starved men or not. It was about finding not even a single person who is sex starved or not refused a woman.

If you really get down to hunting people having various qualities then there are many men out there who could turn their penis' around into their own azzholes! How about that?

Please stick to the point!

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1100 QL Points!!!

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"I didnt say all women are poor in NewYork. Some of them make it to the top spot as they are having affairs with the CEO's."

does it say all women?

now lets see who reacted without reading.

When a woman curses she gets away with it and when a man does the same he gets kicked from QL and scolded and called sexist, illiterate.

PM : Yeah I checked that out. Aghanistan was too good to be true. I'm sure any graduate from Afghanistan looking for a job in oil and gas sector would have found one by now. He's gotta be an American! LOL

Gypsy : Now you're cursing him. LOL!!!

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i dont check people's profiles to see their job posts and their likes and dislikes before posting. I hope you check people's profiles "And they called me a hypocrite"

rayyz. go to any bar in doha and you will see the sex starved men. go to the malls and you will see men following women in Qatar. maybe next time i will post pictures of guys stalking women

eh i am not reading all. same all conflict..

and u guys and girls. u wont be able to change each other if the other one wants to be changed. so hope u dont argue much on this..

"I didnt say all women are poor in NewYork. Some of them make it to the top spot as they are having affairs with the CEO's."

No what you said was either women in New York are poor or they've slept their way to the top.

And neither PM nor I cursed. Unless Pig is a curseword now, and if it is I fully accept that. Pig.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

Knox seems to be getting knocked all over the place! LOL

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1100 QL Points!!!

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did i say all the women have made it to the top by sleeping with their bosses. you can think whatever you want and I will believe in whatever I want. freedom of thinking?

and freedom of speech. atleast i am not the one cursing

Do you know how to check a person's profile? If yes, then please do so and check out mine before asking a dumb question. I've been in Doha for 19 donkeys years and yes I have refused women even before my marriage, which includes a local as well.

It's amazing to hear that you have yet to meet a person in Doha who hasn't refused a woman. Coming from New York, I'd have expected you to have a broader perspective on men and their behavior. Or maybe its just that men over there are too desperate to refuse one! Anyhow, you've met the first person in Qatar that you were looking for. Congratulations!

And as for my interest in your friend, well sorry to disappoint you and her yet again. I am genuinely not interested. Whatever made you think like that anyway? I am happily married to a wonderful woman and I can bet that she is in a field which is far more interesting and enjoyable than "Bachelors degree in History of Science". If you thought her American citizenship would be an influencing factor, then let me ask you to stop talking from your azz and use your brains at times!

Cheers!

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You don't have much respect for women at all obviously knoxcollege.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

try reading my posts from yesterday and today and you will realize how much i respect women

What does that have to do with anything? So a woman abused some of the power she was given, Men do it all the time. Did you hear about the American senator who promoted his gay lover? Does that mean all senators are gay? No, nor does it mean all women in high positions have slept their way to the top. Or that everyone in a high position is promoting their lovers. Grow up.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

for your compliments, keep them coming. This time i am not going to get angry

Did you hear about the woman chairman or something of the hall council who promoted her lover. I was in toronto at that time. you might have heard about it..........

Hey degarding of women may lead to a Ban in QL. ask DG if you don't know.

Also knoxcollege, this concept may be foreign to you, but women in North America tend to move out of their parents home and live alone or with room mates after 18, whether in a decent neighbourhood or otherwise.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

many or should i say most of the marriages of the Qataris within the QATARI community are arranged and with the consent of the parents. Whereas marriage of the Qataris with foreigners are not arranged by parents. I know many qataris who are married to foreign women and they also have a qatari wife due to the pressure by their parents. Though the foreign woman also becomes a qatari after marrying a qatari

Knox College that is the most sexist bull I've ever heard. No wonder you don't have a girl friend. I gurantee you that most women CEOS did not sleep their way to the top. You're a pig.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

try renting an apartment in a decent area in NewYork and you will find out. and I didnt say all women are poor in NewYork. Some of them make it to the top spot as they are having affairs with the CEO's.

tell me you dont know what i am talking about

the people's category that good and very very very rich guys are hard to find

Knoxcollege are you saying women in New York aren't capable of taking care of themselves and need a man to contribute financially? I'm afraid that statement is a pile of crap.

Bajesus, because the marriage, like all of his marriages, were arranged. Therefore she was told by her parents at whatever age that she was going to marry this guy, and I doubt she had much say in it. Truth of Royal families the world over.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

You must know her for you to be so sure. If not, then why do you think she didn't have a choice?

why women marry when the know that their wanna be husband already has a wife. It has got to do with the culture. If you talk about afghanistan the problem is that the percentage of women is much higher than men. and good guys are very hard to find in afghanistan. and it is considered the norm there if a man has 2-3-4 wives

if you talk about united states, there are some communities that practice polygamy and they are brought up thinking that polygamy is the right choice.

In newyork good guys (like me :P) are very hard to find due to the higher percentage of women. ane many girls are very eager to leave their family homes and live independently. and they cannot do it all by themselves. they need a man to contribute financially

Nope Baj, I would put her up with the women who didn't have a choice.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

You live in Qatar? have you ever seen a guy refusing a woman in qatar.

you can see guys leering over woman in this part of the world

so Rayz if you are interested let me know. she is an american citizen with a degree in history of science :)P

What is pOLYGAMY?

Would you then question the sanity of Sheikha Moza because she is a co-wife?

It should be legal if people want to do it fluffy (perhaps not marrying 11 year olds like in the article). As I said, I personally would not choose it, and question the mental state of someone who would, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Frankly if the article does anything it promotes the idea of legalizing it so that these women and girls aren't the whim and mercy of their church and Prophets.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

i know women who chose to be in a polygamy situation.and they have no problem with. i know one woman who even suggested that her husband get a second wife.and guess what most of the women i know that are in polygamy were not even born muslim. so you cant blame culture on a woman being in a polygamy situation because no one forced these women.

if same sex marriages are made legal. why can't polygamy be made legal?

Thats what you parents are for! They'll force you into it. They'd go like, 'now that he keeps you happy and satisfied, might as well hang onto him'. And you'd think, 'yeah damn right! I can even bind him legally and keep holding him for as long as I can, plus get a share of his fortune too'

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Well fine, but I don't have to marry him!

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

LOL. In that case, maybe you'd have just like that guy so much in bed that you don't give a damn he sleeps with another woman.

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1100 QL Points!!!

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I was referring to modern day New York Rayyz, not ye olde Saudi Arabia. LOL. Sure back then I can see a purpose, but now??

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

Knox : I'd love to meet that girl Knox. Despite never meeting Zakir Naik, she still prefers to marry him, she's got some strong will to make up her mind so quickly. Moreover, she must've forgotten that this guy Naik also has a right to say NO.

How could she overlook a good person like you!?

Gypsy : Maybe male prostitutes weren't found in abundance! LOL. I still have faith in my religion, maybe blind at times. Therefore, I would like to comment much on it. Yes there are few things that baffle me as well. I guess best would be to not cross the line, just incase...

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How is polygamy a solution? Who wants to be married that badly?

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

As per Dr. Zakir Naik polygamy is the solution to the high percentage of single women in United States

I was taking to this girl one day and she said that she has no problem sharing Dr. Zakir Naik.

So Dr. Zakir Naik if you are interested just send me a message and I will convey your message to her

Most major cities have a thriving gay community. San Francisco is the gay capitla of the US. ___________________________________________________________

'Love is the answer...'

has a "big surplus" of women. And it is very hard to find good decent men there. And if you are not hooked up with someone people wonder whether you are gay. It also has a thriving gay community

And as per Dr. Zakir Naik, the only solution for single women in NewYork is polygamy

I think in Islam it started during times of battle where there was a big surplus if women around. Rather than sitting around their family homes growing old they married and had children etc. I wonder if they were under pressure to do this back then? I would like to hear from a current co-wife who is happy with her arrangement. I would be interested in her point of view. _______________________________________________________________

'Love is the answer...'

want human beings to suffer or is it the humans who cause suffering to others

that's what polygamy is. I really pity women who are forced into this.

May the roof above us never fall in, and may the friends below never fall out!

God told Moh'd the infadels are all bad.

God told the Mormon guy to read a special book with special glasses... then took it away so no one else could see it.

God sent his only son to save mankind....but acctually sent himself.

God told the Johovah's that only a certain number of people could get into heaven.

God told those poor Koreans to go to Afghanistan and preach the word.

If anyone knows what God told the Moonies & The Christian Scientists.....Please tell me!

I think God has a split personality!

In Muslim marriages there is a contract to be signed between the man and woman. This is like a pre-nuptial agreement. Each can write what they want in it and both sign. So this would be the time for the woman to write that she intends to work, drive, BE THE ONLY WIFE, etc. In the event that her husband decides to marry a second wife then she will be entitled to a divorce. The terms of the divorce (custody of children, money, property, etc) would be stipulated in the contract. This is seen as a form of protection for the woman's fututre in practical terms.

Would be pretty devastating though. I can't see a woman who has an agreement to be the only wife in her marriage contract staying in that marriage with a co-wife.

---------'Love is the answer...'---------

Well technically Islam and the Mormonism say that God does grant this right to men, so the religion does say so, or vicariously God says so.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

Exactly my point! If women are forced into it then it is certainly wrong.

I wasn't gonna comment much about it until Greenthing mentioned of God. Blame it on the individuals, but do not misinterpret whats said in the books and give out a lame excuse that a religion says so.

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I think that's the problem Rayyz, is that women can't say no to it. Especially ones that come from a culture or a religion were it is promoted.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

I think you need to re-read my post.

It can happen anywhere, forced, donated, exchanged or whatever. Gypsy's opening post speaks out for itself.

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Ray made the most illustrious comment in this tread

What do you thing of the word seduction, lured, cohered, exchanged and best of all donated?

Tell me the difference of those words, how are implicated all together in the middle east?

Please don't give me the excusable reason of "Is my culture, religion and tradition".

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

For me never!!!!!Thats my personal meaning.I cant share my love with other womans,also if they are verry nice and friendly.Neverrrr!!!!

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

I don't know about what a woman feels about being a second wife. I've never been a woman in my past life either.

It was my way of looking at the entire polygamy thing. My grandfather got married just once, so was my dad and so am I. And I seriously cannot comment on how it is done in this region cos I don't really know about it. But if we are dicussing about the religion, a woman can always say no to it, if she doesn't wanna get married to a man, whether he's single or married.

Religion aside, if her parents are forcing into it then thats another set of problem, which could happen anywhere in the world, not just a particular religion.

But on second thoughts, why do women like to have affairs with married men? Are they forced into it?

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1100 QL Points!!!

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A little caution on your words would be much appreciated!

Your profile says your job as a nurse allows you to travel so much and experience different cultures. Quite nice. But sad to note that 'experience' hasn't really filtered down to respecting them.

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1100 QL Points!!!

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Well I would seriously question the sanity of a women who would agree to that kind of marriage. And the 1st wife doesn't get much say does she.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

What woman would chose this that isn't being pressured whether by her family or culture.

No woman would actually go out and seek to be a multiple wife if there was no pressure what so ever. Show me one woman who out of the blue wishes to be a third or fourth wife to someone twice her age?

I do not see it as much of a problem so long as the woman is not forced into it. If she is willing to get married to a guy who is already married out of her choice, I don't see anything wrong in it. Let there be freedom!

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1100 QL Points!!!

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Not true greenthing, in Islam and in the Mormon religion God told them they could have multiple wives.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

In my opinion any type of polygamy is a form of slavery, but hey, that's just me.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

It's all just men doing what they want.......God didn't tell anyone that they could have multiple wives or whatever. It's a power & manipulation thing. Some people need religion & need to think there's something bigger.....

Have you seen the Dateline documentaries where they rescue girls as young as 11 from marriage? Its kinda like a modern day underground railroad. I couldn't imagine being 11 years old and being forced into marriage.

In my opinion this kind polygamy is a type of slavery. I don't even want to get started because it really upsets me.

I know it's in the Middle East. That's why I posted it.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

So is in the middle East!!!!!

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..