One for the men (i know i should not put this)
A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn't in bed with
her.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the
kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to
be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he
wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at
this time of night?"
Her husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember 20 years
ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my
car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair
beside him.
The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun
in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you
to jail for 20 years?'"
"I remember that, too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have
gotten out today."
Three young Samurai warriors enter a room to prove their skills are worthy to their new warlord.
One warrior draws his sword and swiftly cuts in half the fly. The Shogun says: "Impressive".
The second Warrior draws his swords and cuts the second fly in three pieces. The Shogun says: "Awesome"
The third Warrior draws his sword and slashes with one single stroke the fly. The Shogun stares at the still circling flying Fly and said: "HUMMM, What happen?
Everyone looks around dumb-foul and the third warrior comments "Master, I just castrated the fly" Look in floor and you should see the marbles.......
Enjoy.....
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds..
...that's hillarious...first good laugh of the day...
yv2r
Congrats, so u enjoyed by celebrating and cutting cake in your Birthday suit.
ha ha ha , imagine a memorable Birthday with all the dear n near in an odd place
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. Turned out, she barely said "good morning", let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought, well, that's marriage for you, but the kids--- they'll remember.
My kids came bounding downstairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So, when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane, said, "Good morning, Boss, and by the way, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday. Wha'd'ya say we go out to lunch, just you and me!"
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch, but not where we'd normally go; she chose, instead, a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day-- we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment! It's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Okay," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake--- followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there--- on the couch--- --- naked.
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds..
Thats what i said too...lol....good one...