Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?
By Diana Kirschner, Ph.D.
So you've been cheated on. It's devastating -- like being kicked in the gut and thrown into the gutter. You can't eat or function at work. Or maybe you're up all night watching old movies, bawling, and eating pints of Ben and Jerry's. Discovering your partner's affair gives you such heartache and pain that you doubt you'll ever recover.But when the cheater tries hard to win you back, some questions loom large: Should you forgive him/her? Is this cheater going to cheat again? You may feel torn; perhaps wanting to take your remorseful partner back, but you feel like it's a point of pride not to. You may want to drop the cheater altogether, dive into an online personals pool, and start looking for a more loyal significant other.
Here are five signs that may indicate a former cheater is not a chronic case and that the relationship still has hope:
1. Your partner is truly remorseful and regrets having cheated. Look for heartfelt apologies that ring true when you hear them. He/she accepts total blame for his/her betrayal.
2. Your partner cuts off all contact with the relationship perpetrator.
3. He/she shows a renewed appreciation and devotion towards you.
4. You wind up having deep, open, and honest conversations with each other about your relationship, including what was missing in it and how you'd like it to progress.
5. Your partner wants psychotherapy or counseling either individually or with you to understand his/her own dynamics and to improve your relationship.
If the former cheater shows these signs and you can forgive him/her, consider taking your partner back. Yet, be aware that taking your partner back carries one caveat: There's a possibility your partner will slip back into infidelity.
And just how do you know if the cheating has resurfaced?
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24018/dating-myt...
its ok azi...i like you the way you are!
but THEM? They dont...more the pity...(no PUN intended)
Am I biatchy today or what...lol
i was just kidding azi, you know.....
WYSIWYG
Good grief dont u guys have anything else to talk about.. other than the same ol stuff we've been reading about for yrs now...
coz you might not know WHO's reading and next thing you know, you're being scrutinized when you attend some QL gatherings.
believe me, girl...I know...got loads of THAT from GOODY GOOD SHOES people here in QL. and they're not even SINGLE, that's why...pity...lol
lol loulsy.....if i dont find a guy in the next few years, i may just try your advice...but not now! lol
from what i know it a Female scientist who decided to make a study of i dont know what and had S*x with an ape
WYSIWYG
My Dear mjamille.. may i suggest that u change ur sexual orientation?! LOOOOLLL Just kidding..
WYSIWYG
Hey honey - we chatted on QL the other day - aint u interested? Hic! Gin time......................Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Aids was invented when the guy cheated on his wife with a monkey...
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(Lebanon A piece of Heaven on Earth)
lol loulsy.... you could help me find a decent guy....lol
It depends on the person, sometimes (rarely) cheating does improve the relationship, but as in any relationship you can't let yourself slip back into the rut that caused the person to cheat in the first place.
Visit www.qatarhappening.com
tell us.. we are able to help u!! j/k...
WYSIWYG
Nothing more to that...
But to cheat so you can bacxk at your cheating partner only makes it worst.
LYING is ALSO cheating...SO WHAT ELSE is new...
GEE...for 2 days (or 3), jamille has been posting all about relationships, men and the ups/downs of relationship...
What gives, girl?...lol
was never a healthy act or should be there. Once you are with a partner, then I guess there is no excuse to cheat on him/her. If there is a problem, just try to talk about it, but come later [after getting caught cheating] to say that I did it because of this and that??
Sorry but not an excuse, be open with your partner and if you had to hurt her/him about something going wrong then it is better than letting them feel the pain of being cheated on and maybe lose your relation forever while your intentions was none of that.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)
Old habits die hard
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(Lebanon A piece of Heaven on Earth)
let's face it....cheating is inevitable, well at least to some...
but as the article says, cheating happens. So the next rule supposedly is, not to be caught or not to admit if ever caught.
We go to situation that one party (which everybody presumed to be the male specie) cheat, then the move is already all dependent to the other party (the offended one). If the offended party is full of forgiveness, then it might result for the cheating party to change or worse, stress the level of forgiveness of the offended party.
For many, relationship is like a delicate glass. Any crack, even how small it is, will never revert back to being whole again. And mind you, cheating produce the biggest crack in the glass of relationship.
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"