Many Saudi wives dread husbands' foreign trip

those cheaters wouldn't wait for summer vacations;

They usually travelled in the region to have FUN round a year (except Ramadan) with their close friends leaving family behind.

Are you suggesting that every man who leaves his wife for short or a long trip is cheating on her?

Would you please remind me of how many foreign men have been working and living in Doha without their wives? And for how long they've been cheating too?

Some of the arguments here are very lame!

Salam

for summer vacations (those male who loved to have FUN);

What about most of the weekends already spent in Dubai, Manama or Beirut or Syria!!!!

It is a Good protection, which is better than Cure (AIDS uncureable so far).

Peace

Thanks for the correction Lust, you are right.

my co-worker here just got out of the hospital(Over fatigue the doctor said) after spending his vacations in a place where drugs, women and alcohol is very much available.

he prays 5 times a day and always say the word haram...

now im here beside him laughing at what has happened to him. it seems that he did all the haram that he had been murmuring about before.

Funiculus Umbil,

Congratulations, you have summarized the root of the problem:

"In my opinion, and I think many westerners, it is all about perception. Islam is now by far the most aggressive, conservative and socially controlling religion available. Their societies are largely under sharia, less developed and maybe, in the eyes of some a bit backwards in comparison to 'the west'. (please note that this is NOT an insult)".

It's a fact and what makes it even a greater problem is that this can't be discussed in an intelligent and rational matter as often it is stopped in the name of what people here who run out of arguments, like to pull the weapon of "religious bashing thread".

What is being discussed here is NOT a particular man who is cheating on his wife (life AbuAmerican seamed to confuse with), what is being discussed here is the trait behavior of a particular nationality and culture!

AbuAmerican,

Sorry man, but you can’t compete with FU, he backs up his arguments with universal logic while you are too and only Islamic biased.

PS. FU, again congrats with your objective and straight forward way of exposing your views, with no fear. Assertiveness is a rare feature in this forum!

Just a minor correction on your comment above, it should have been:

Religious hypocrisy:

“Preach A, judge an other for doing B, yet does B himself.”

Ummm Salaymum, going back to your post about making the men get tested. The problem there is, well...you can't make them, and even by denying them sex that might not work, because spousal rape isn't illegal in Saudi, and the kind of guy who'd take a vacation and screw around without his wife probably wouldn't hesitate to rape her.

Also, it can take up to 6 months for AIDS to appear on a blood test.

if you can talk,nothing will less,you can name them its not a big deal,dunnoh about the others,just an observation...

Would you like me to talk about Non-Arab men drooling for a little sign from an Arab beauty with dark complexion?!

I can write books on that, but I'll spare you and QLers the stirring, unlike some sick people here!

Salam

its not a feature that is specific to ARab guys. What are the other nationalities doing when they are going to Thailand or for that matter any country. Are they just going their to enjoy the natural beauty of the country?

Your questions about Middle Eastern women can be answered. I'm one and I won't allow my husband to cat around as long as he comes back home clean of STDs.

If I found out he was playing around, I'd divorce him and will throw our kids to him -temporarily as a threat, then will get them back to my embrace- to teach him what matrimonial responsibility means.

I can always find another husband, or better stay single, then to be dishonored by my husband whom I consider my soul mate.

I hope my response has filled in the blanks here.

Salam

thirst with the flesh,when they out of their country.

one no need to point out certain faiths generally, in respect to them. Especially if the issue discuss here is not only true to one group but to anyone concern.

Yes- QL has been thru a lot of bashing from;religion,faiths,nationality,government,etc.

So we need to avoid that please so that we will not be misinterpreted being hypocrites about the issue.

Yes, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, and QL had given us this corner to share it to other people. Sometimes, you'd be surprised how other people view the subject aside from you, but that how it is here.

just be cool, make friends:)

who's the thick??

Right, did I hear somewhere correctly that two women is equivalent to one man? Thats too much of a discrimination and explain the theory of one is never enough. The wisdom is a hungry tiger would prowl to another territory for more food. That being the case applied here.

It is ok Alexa. It happens. :-)

Alexa, where did I imply that you disrespected somebody?

When rape in marriage is not illegal how are women going to be asking their men to take std check - lol!!!

Same problem happens in Africa with aids in that married men go cheating and have unprotected sex. Aids cases in youngsters are reducing.

Alexa,

With all do respect towards Arabic Ladies,

my Cheese-head can not help but think......

If you live the life of a "lesser", if your religion/culture/environment tells you you are 'lesser', then why object against such practices? Will it have any use or will you cause domestic mayhem and risk being beat?

Nica,

Unfortunately you are dealing with humans, you are in a melting pot of religions and cultures.

Nothing is worse than limiting people in their expressions, you as receiver should distinguish the proper replies from the improper, and choose to discuss the appealing replies.

I see many people here that voice assumptions, observations, facts and perceptions. For me, the art is to have a mature discussion where everything can be said and stated without the receiving party becoming emotional and upset as 99.9% of the posts on QL are non-offensive and not intended as insults. It is merely misinterpretation of emotionless black on white characters that often lead to quarrels.

And yes, I like a discussion. I like a verbal joust. I like opinionated people, I like to try to play 'verbal tug o war' from time to time, and no I will not hold back. I will make sure it is acceptable and within boundaries, if not I will get banned, eventually.

I hate passiveness and political correctness, I rely on maturity and common sense.

After all -it is merely cyberspace and nothing but words.

truthfulvisitor a husband that has no emotional connection to his wife,.... I have heard that the Arabs don't even share a bed and sleep in different rooms, can you imagine that , here is half of the problem already

what sort of husband would want to spend the summer away from his wife and family, anyway?

Why is voicing observations/opinions always perceived as *bashing*?

the purpose of posting this topic and be discussed in a forum was to view it constructively. It doesn't have to end up in religion bashing (again). Be it you're a muslim, christian, hindu, etc., the disease has no preference, let alone gender. More so, that in whatever culture cheating to spouse is eminent and exist in all society, not just in Saudi.

...

Abu,

"you lot"

Who do you mean? Profile please.

Of course Donosa, it is universal and almost signatory for religious people. Preach A, judge an other for doing B, yet does A himself.

Religious people are the easiest target as almost everybody is aware of their 'manual'.

Gosh you guys, all i did was respond to the attitude of the lady on the OP. I didnt expect this to turn out into another Saudi/Muslim/West/Indian bashing thread!

"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.

I come from a 90%-of-the-population-catholic country, and I have to say, there is a lot of hypocrisy there too... loads of it.

Anyway,

This being said.

First of all,

The wives should worry about their husbands, so should any other wife. Of course this problem is universal. However this article may be written as a piece of religious moral propaganda that sends a warning to males. Why not? It is no more than appealing to universal standards of civil/decent behavior, if you take a religious stance.

Secondly,

Why do westerners react on Muslims that are supposedly out of line?

In my opinion, and I think many westerners, it is all about perception. Islam is now by far the most aggressive, conservative and socially controlling religion available. Their societies are largely under sharia, less developed and maybe, in the eyes of some a bit backwards in comparison to 'the west'. (please note that this is NOT an insult)

Christianity has liberalized, christian societies have liberalized and therefore are more flexible. Western societies adapt to "the spirit of its time". Our women are free, our gays are free. Overall, we enjoy relatively more freedom. Freedom equals however a larger responsibility for the individual within the liberal society.

With these elements in mind, it is logic that Westerners find Muslims that break their own religious rules hypocrite as we assume that in Saudi, and other Sharia nations, EVERYBODY (all locals) is a Muslim, and this is what Saudi (and the others) advertise. Whereas, in Western societies, you can be anything you want to be and nobody has a label of Christian perse, and nobody by design and default adheres to Christian morals, it is a choice. However the minute I travel abroad to Sharia countries, I WILL carry the label Christian, whether I like it or not.

Perception and confusion.

AbuAmerican,

Congratulations, you are by far the most ignorant QL'er.

Your guns, just like your 'smack', have no backbone what-so-ever. All empty and hollow, simple/narrow minded words from an obviously aggressive and intolerant individual.

FORUM Abu. PEOPLE with OPINIONS. CONVERSATION Abu, PEOPLE give THEIR perspective. DISCUSSION Abu... nobody claims to hold the key to infinite wisdom, SHARING THOUGHTS Abu, people write short opinions with regards to a subject.

DO NOT disqualify them Abu, either PARTICIPATE by taking an opinion and RESPECTFULLY show him/her your PERCEPTION or STAY AWAY.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE ABU.

Mind your own business - attitude=DISASTER for a forum.

Maybe you should be playing Pacman or with Lego, less frustrating. Psychoanalytically spoken, pull the forum plug. It does not serve you well.

D:

I mind my own business by not judging the guys. I'm just pointing out how hard it must be for those ladies to trust their husbands, harder than the normal... I'm just putting myself in their shoes (their ultra high heel shoes).

Well said.. this sort of thing occurs all over the place..

ANY WIFE would be wary of her husband going off alone or with his buddies, whil;st she's stuck with the kids..

Well, your profile is a public document. I don't think there is any harm in I viewing that.

Since you seem to be well informed about the infidelity of Indians, it was only a healthy curiosity on my part to know the statistics of infidelity of your countrymen. I cans assure you that racial bias was the last emotion that prompted me to post the comment.

Or do you specialize in Indian infidelity?

Ur right, we can say whatever we want.

Holy at home, evil abroad. Now imagine as a citizen of the holy land indulging in this kind of behaviour. I suppose this dosen't happens to the Saudis only but to most Arabs countries. Forget about how the west behave, but these countries should up keep all the islamic value that they have been preaching.

Yes Zokbi, but in KSA everyone gets an arranged marriage. I'm not saying it doesn't exist in other parts of the world, believe me, I KNOW... I come from a country where marriages are still arranged in some regions, specially among indigenous population.

I'm just saying that it is hard to find someone to trust enough to marry, but it is WAY HARDER to try to trust your spouse if someone else chose it for you.

And I don't care, still I think we all here have the right to say whatever we want. Sorry if I didn't get your point.

Abuamerican is absoluetly rite in what he said. Listen donosa, arranged marriage exists all over the world and every religion. It happens in saudi,qatar,china,india,korea,etc.both love and arranged marriage has its own good and bads

abuamerican...look, I don't know who you refer to as "hypocrites" here in QL, but one thing is for sure... We will not mind our own businesses as this forum is to say our opinions abut ANY topic that anyone wants to discuss. Sorry, but if you don't like it, then don't log in QL.

And yes bubbly, I guess women also have that fear, but I'm also sure that is not as in Saudi. You see, in most of the countries, people CHOOSE who to marry. That means that nobody is imposed to nobody. So when 2 people get married there is a relationship behind, there is commitment to the other soul, and there is TRUST. In an arranged marriage, none of this exist, so it has to be achieved in a short time. I wouldn't trust someone just like that. So I think the arranged marriage issue increases the fear at least double than a regular woman from the west would feel.

hahaha way to go ABUAMERICAN...

as i have said. let's shed off our sanctimoniousness and examine ourselves first before we utter a word...

the Saudi women in the article, in reality represents a lot of women today.

every woman at one point in our lives, married or not will come to fear what these Saudi women fear..

That is really interesting

Sorry ..i dnt know. I am not an expert either. Ur a biased, looking into my profile and posting comment

Abuamerican is absoluetly right. Saudis r humans, yes its true we r jealous of their oil wealth..its gods gift 4 them

Serves the husbands right if they're going to cheat!

Any info about the percentage of Australians sticking to their marriage vows? We are interested to know that. You seem to be an expert on this.

I am not bashing indians, its just a fact. Yes the saudi thing is shocking

First of all Zokbi, the thread is abt Saudis and I'm talking abt the article in which the Saudi ladies fear contracting STDs more than their marriage breaking down(or have already broken down).

Next just becasue Indian Men/Women cheat does not mean that its OK to do it. Most of the time if the wife or the husband come to know abt it it results in a break up of the marriage, but out here looks like the women already know abt it and they dont mind as long as the husbands dont spread their STDs.

Please do tell me how you arrived at this "50 Percent".

"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.

Its not just saudis. What are u going to say abt the indians who work here in the gulf? There are so many of them. They r married and come to gulf to send money back home.but the company gives ticket once in 2 years. This two years gap makes them have affair.maybe 50 percent of the indian working population who are married back home have affairs, even the wives do.

don't blame them, they're just victims of ignorance!

Although I didnt know about the womens attitude of " let it happen but don't catch a disease that makes yer willy fall off"

If this is indeed the case, then the women are to blame as well.

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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.

Really Mr. Paul, I'm amazed by the attitude of Women in the middle east! Its ok for a married man to sleep around as long as he doesnt get STD!!!! What happened to the institution of marriage??? What abt Adultery being a sin? Where has all these moral values dissapeared?

"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.

qd06 is has a point. education is the key.

having worked in the kingdom for years, i can attest to the men's (some) invincibility.

they are aware of the stigma that is attached to these diseases (esp in the kingdom) but are still complacent about it.

religion can't be dragged in this,

as it is always a PERSONAL choice to indulge in something,

someone will tell me, personality is molded by religion.

well, the way i see it, most of the time it isn't.

let's get away with our sanctimonious attitudes

***feed my ignorance***

they married them, so they should stand by their committments.Always quick to spell out the rules to their ladies before heading out to act like spoiled playboys....

Pathetic !

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I think you have me confused with someone who gives a sh1t.

.Everyone needs a break from everything. a time alone,

.

.

another day, another pay

.

just shows of how primitive and underdevelopped that society still is...

to ask from one husband after his trip. But contrary to what you suggest,that is not all true for some wives. As you read the wife's testimony here:

"Later, the young woman was shocked to see that she had also contracted Aids when she underwent medical tests following the second pregnancy.

"When I informed him about this, his reaction was more shocking and mindboggling." Her husband divorced her accusing her of "disloyalty and cheating", she said."

I don't know, I would be demanding , do you think the wife needs to risk here health for his adventures, that is something serious ....how to make him get tested is something that needs to be figured out, true !

How will she "make him get tested"?

oops double post sorry

if the wife has a good idea ,what her husband is up to , when he travels alone, she needs to make him get tested for any STD,safety first!!!!

worldwide as the worse culture on the planet. This does not mean that other cultures who are being oppressed by military juntas, and the like, and are giving their people a terrible time, but that Saudi culture, from the ground up, is the worse....

It is considered this way throughout the whole world.

well if the husband travels alone, and the wife has a good idea what he is up to, she needs to make him , get tested for any STD , easy as that , safety first!!!

I think, the reason why Vegas said what he said is coz most of the muslims present themselves as a very religion following people. if you talk to them they'll talk like Mr. I know everything & when they go out, they'll do all those 'haram' things which they are totally against. And for goodness sake dont bring those sick priests on every religious post here, everyone is very well aware of that. He was talking about normal daily life people with families

qd06: age and not shoe size? My shoe size was 45 when I was 15.

:P

I guess it is the same as married men slipping off their rings. Vegas is it religion or their culture that makes them dress like that. Should you blame the Vatican when another priest molests a child or blame that person?

The understanding about STD's here is still in its infancy. It scares me sometimes to here some of the comments made by people about AIDS and other STDs. I think the focus should be to educate instead of attacking a certain religion. The same with drug and alcohol awareness.

Act your age not your shoe size

You can't teach experience...

wasn't built on hyprocritical behaviours, then that would lessen the risk.Like these are the folks who cannot drink alcohol, but who flock to Bahraine and Thailand and engaged in terrible behaviour, and then return home, abuse their authority and pray 5 times a day??@@***

So what do they expect?? something different?

not only for Saudi women but to any woman as well. And I think it's unfair to housewives too.