kiarajane
When are you going to give it up? We are not laughing with you sunshine but at you. Your juvenile paranoia and aggression are really not amusing anymore. You are obviously not in a very good personal space right now so a suggestion would be to take some time out from this website, calm down and come back when u are feeling ready to contribute something valid. We hope you have a speedy recovery, because you do provide us with a lot of amusement and are an integral part of the chats. Qatari sounds seriously ticked so perhaps you should discontinue the racism, insults and personal attacks on other users before you get banned. Find a more positive way to spend your free time.
[img_assist|nid=13228|title=I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]
[img_assist|nid=13228|title=I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]
It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Just keep dancing baby!
A lawyer lies dying, his partner of 40 years by his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess. I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years and I'm the father of your daughter, Hillary. On top of that, I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."
Just keep dancing baby!
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.
"I think accountants are the easiest to operate on," said the first surgeon. "You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
"I think librarians are the easiest to operate on," said the second. "You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
"I like to operate on electricians," said the third. "You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
"I like to operate on lawyers," said the fourth. "They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable."
"I like engineers," said the fifth. "They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Just keep dancing baby!
Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Ned sit down and begin to eat.
"Ned, you're pretty popular!" says Bill. "I'm the most popular man in the world," says Ned.
"Now Ned," says Bill, your pretty popular but you're not the most popular man in the world."
"Oh yeah," Ned replies "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I'm friends with anybody you can name!"
"That so?" answers Bill, "How about the President of the United States?"
"Let's go!" says Ned.
The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, "Ned! How are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages!" The three go play a round of golf and then leave.
"That was luck!" says Bill, "Two thousand says your not friends with the Queen of England!"
"Let's go!" says Ned.
The two fly to Buckingham Palace and, sure enough, are greeted by the Queen. ''Hello Ned my boy! What have you been up to these days?" They enter the palace and have some tea and leave.
Frustrated, Bill says, "Double or nothing, you don't know the Pope!"
"Benny!" says Ned, "Let's go!"
When they get to the Vatican, Ned instructs Bill to wait outside and Ned will come out on the balcony with his arm around the Pope. After a while, a crowd gathers to hear the Pope speak. And as told by Ned, when the Pope came out, Ned's arm was wrapped around him. Ned looks down from the balcony and see's Bill passed out on the ground. He rushes down and wakes him up.
"Bill! Bill! Wake up!" Bill opens his eyes and says,
"Ned. You're the most popular man in the world."
"I told you that, Bill," says Ned, "but you didn't faint when I knew the President! You didn't faint when I knew the Queen!"
"Well I was shocked that you knew the Pope," says Bill. "But I just couldn't take it when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Who's that up there with Ned?"
Just keep dancing baby!
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "And make several low-level passes." Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
Just keep dancing baby!
A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The doctor finishes the exam and tells the man, "I have some bad news, you only have have about two weeks left to live".
The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that he could do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?"
The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do".
"Just name it, I''''ll do whatever it is". He tells the man to take alot of mud baths, two or three a day.
The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition"?
The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."
Just keep dancing baby!
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. The farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts - although still silent - stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing..."
Just keep dancing baby!
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing.
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally the drunk replies, ''No use knockin,' pal. There's no paper."
Just keep dancing baby!
"Bartender, gimme 'nother drink, says a very drunk man.
"Sorry sir," replies the bartender. "I have to cut you off."
"Just gimme another drink."
"O.K. I'll make a deal with you. I'll give you another drink and call you a cab. When the cab comes, regardless of whether you're done or not you have to go."
"Thass a good deal," the drunk says. He gets his drink and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Oh shit, what am I gonna do now? My wife's gonna kill me."
"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "When you get home, tell your wife you were in the bar and some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."
"Thass a great idea!"
When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? LOOK AT YOUR SHIRT! WHAT HAPPENED?"
He tried to put on his most sober voice and said, "Relaaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."
The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "THERE'S TEN BUCKS HERE!"
"Oh yeah, he shit in my pants, too."
Just keep dancing baby!
Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta?
Oh, grand! It's Bond.
James Bond? O07?
Shaken not stirred? Tuxedo? The trunk-sized jet pack? We had a run in with an Austrian terrorist with the overdeveloped reptilian brain and a predilection for man-eating octopi launching bazookas?
Well, contacting you took quite a bit of doing actually. You see, first I tried Giganta Crotchetta. I must have looked in every phone directory that MI-6 could hack into. Then I figured out that Giganta might be a code name. I mean, who has the name Giganta Crotchetta? Rather silly, when you think about it?
Yes, yes I suppose you do like it. Anyway, I recalled that I kept one of your garments – your knickers actually. And there it was. "Honey Rider" is a much prettier and commonplace name. You should use that.
Ah, yes. The, uh... point. Well, it seems that... well, there's no delicate way to put this. I have a rather nasty case of syphilis. And, um, I'm calling all my sexual partners to let them know that they should go get tested.
Uh-huh. Right. I know it was ten years ago. But the syphilis is rather unusual.
Well, it has gonorrhea.
Yes, my syphilis has gonorrhea.
And the gonorrhea has lice. And the lice have some undiscovered disease that's kind of between hemorrhagic fever and the mumps. It’s a virulent mutant strand developed by Dr. No-Means-Yes during Mission: "The Russian Spy Who Loved To Thunderball Me.”
Yes, I know I said I had a condom. But you see all the condoms I had were made by Q, and apparently, the condoms weren’t meant to be condoms -- they were designed to be used as a pocket parachute. Good man. If you need to have your stapler work as a gun, he's your boy. Anyway, you didn’t notice because while we were passionately embraced, your tongue accidentally trigged my knockout gas tooth and you, um, drifted off to sleep. But trust me, you enjoyed yourself. They all do.
Anyway, with all the rather bizarre ailments my, um, bizarre ailments have, the doctors have advised me to contact everyone in my sexual history about my condition. No small feat, I assure you. If you saw the list, you'd think I'd been having sex with my fellow spies for 50 years!
Well, this is what the doctors suggest. Right now, I am in a remote island facility. Actually there's no facility. Just an island. And me. But they'e building one as soon as they can find enough hazmat suits. Anyway, a helicopter is going to pick you up and bring you to the island where we can be treated in isolation.
Chin up! Look at it this way: it'll give us a chance to get caught up. And maybe once some of the redness goes down, along with some of the greenness and the larvae, we can do some REAL reminiscing.
"Oh, James." What's that supposed to mean?
Just keep dancing baby!
How is a hurricane like a marriage?
At the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, and when it's over your house is gone.
Just keep dancing baby!
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went ROARRRR!"
Just keep dancing baby!
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."
So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Just keep dancing baby!
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Just keep dancing baby!
Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Just keep dancing baby!
Just keep dancing baby!
Just keep dancing baby!
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don''t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I''m sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don''t have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."
Just keep dancing baby!
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don''t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I''m sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don''t have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."
Just keep dancing baby!
we met once in coffee morning in Starbucks Villagio with Samijam and Amanda. It was only briefly ... so probably you don't really remember me :-)
Lucky you going home this summer ... me and son will be stuck here :-( So pls thinking of us when you experience the nice weather wherever you are hehe...
wow! the edit function is really useful. Maybe you should request a spell check function to be added on the list? Great idea isn't it?
Here we go again.... SPELL CHECK anyone??? Is it the CPA or the PhD who is doing the typing?
OMG I can't resist it! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
i skip tomorrow ,... need to do some chores ... :-( I just came back last sunday from UK ... lots of works to do :-(
are you going home for summer?
btw ... did you ever met a mexican lady with german husband, they only have 1 son and living in your compound.
PS: You never tell me that you die your hair to blonde ?????
She is like those dancing characters in her posts, all body, no head.
I'm happily married from my virginity until now I still have the same man! and you? ha! ha! ha!
The truth is difficult to deny!
are you going to EW night out on 22 nd ???
count to 10, breath in then breath out ... lol
This is an ongoing saga. It's mudslinging, intrigue, personal lives, etc. Everything you want out of a TV soap opera but this time on the internet. You have to be online most of the time on QL to follow this. I been following in on certain posts then suddenly it will be pulled out.
Just this afternoon there was a post by Doha_guy. I just went out buy some popcorn and drinks......phoof...... it was gone. Can't find it anymore.
Now I hope they don't pull out this one 'cause I've got my popcorn and drinks ready and my mouse pointer on "refresh".
Just an advice on those commenting. Don't use real names. Be aware that using real names borders on slander and libel and all electronic communications can be used in court. You may regret later what you typed in haste. Just use codes to keep the mystery and suspense.
Now back to regular programming...... action!
Kiara, you are what you make yourself out to be. You need not have responded to these messages in the first place and the people would have stod with you. Why is it that you have to respond to everything?
You know what i would have done if it was me? I would just make ONE post asking the agressor to piss off and then maintain a DIGNIFIED silence. That way, people would be WITH you. Am not saying that it aint so now, but things could have been a lot better, had you just kept quiet.
Am not saying this to anger you and i dont want a retort back in the forum. If at all, hurl abuses at me through a PM. I woundt want the world to know about difference of opinions.
Kiara, how i wish you would have acted a little more composed... You could have beat your aggressors at their own game...
??????????????????
Kiara, river-rat was being nice to you. I had supported you in the beginning, but seriously, you are taking things a little out of hand. Think for some time, Kiara. Like river rat said, we wouldnt like you being banned from the website. Please, please take the hint and tone down!
http://www.qatarliving.com/node/15202
The truth is difficult to deny!
What is happening here?
***The biggest risk in life, is not taking one!***
The reason i did'nt say that we would miss u was because i knew you were obviously too dim to take the hint.