Jokes
First man in a queue at Tesco got to the till and saw he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up.
She asked, 'What size?' The man replied that he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his trousers. He did.
She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Till 5.'
The next man thought this was interesting. When he got up to the till, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms. She asked him to drop his trousers. He did.
She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of medium-sized condoms, Till 5.'
Next, a teenage boy, who had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, thought this was his chance.
When he got to the till he told the checker he needed some condoms.
She asked him to drop his trousers and he did.
She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said..
Mop to til 5!
Towards the end of the golf course, Henry hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden.....POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.......As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!!!!! Then POOF!......she was gone !
After Henry recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Denis, where are you?"
Denis yells back "I'm over here in the pussywillows."
Henry shouts back, "DON'T SWING, Denis; for the love of God, DON'T SWING !"
When you blow up your salary in the 3rd week and wish you could Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V the pay day.
When your boss gives one of those err... sermons and you wish you could Ctrl+Alt+Delete it.
life is good
When you ask people to "Click it" instead of "Switch it".
When you put your TV on and start looking for "Mouse" instead of "Remote"
LOL
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D.....
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
get to see the views gr8 views 2
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
Tayeeb bekhair Allah-e-salmak asak tayeeb ramadan wala mabsoot :D sho akhbarak ent. mashghol hai ayam shoye.
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Going to walk on 6PM? Ohhhh .. r u sure that u and treys are going because you love to do sports or are in love with sports .. :)
Shloonk Yal Tayeb ... Wyn Ayamek? Shloon Ramadan maak? :)
hey dude we have started the walk at 6pm ... could not go today as was busy
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
i thought some new inventions in rubber LOL
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DaRuDe ... the boy has just ... anyway forget it .. :D
mop to clean the floor
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
Mop whats that??/ some kinda new rubber??
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